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Did you get revenge on the 'mistress' or did you let it go??

It's been 8 months since my hubby's affair came to light. We've done some serious counselling and are working through it. BUT....
I see this biatch every. freakin. where. Or if it's not her, her husband. Including the hospital when I was very unwell. I have so far taken the high road and not given her any of my energy or attention. But life keeps rubbing it in my face, and I keep thinking what if I just....? Then when I saw her face I'd feel some kind of happy about what I did rather than feeling sick and like I want to kill my husband.
Did you take revenge? How did it make you feel?
(And I'm not talking about physical violence, or anything super illegal, it's a smallish town and I need my reputation and job!)

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Answers (41)

Id be leaving an anonymous letter for her husband. Mail it to his work address so u know he gets it. Poor man should know his wifes a cheating wh**e. Goodluck. Id probably also accidently find her car in a carpark and my key would accidently leave a big long deep scratch (or 2) up one side.
Id also probably post an adult add with her number attached.
Id also send her a massive glitter bomb as well just to make myself feel better.
But im a bitch.
Its probably better to take the hugh road.

 High** road.
helpful (1) 
 Love the glitter bomb idea.
helpful (4) 
 Glitter bombs are easy and fun to make. Do it outside and wear gloves. Leave no evidence around. Just saying ;-)
helpful (4) 
 do all of these ideas !!
helpful (2) 
 Ha ha I love the way you think!!
helpful (1) 

I thought about it. At least at first. My husband had an affair too, and when I found out I was devastated. He worked with her for over 4 years!! My friends now see her more than they do me. It's easier, she doesn't have kids of her own.
I thought about doing all kinds of sly things. Little things where she wouldn't know it was me, but honestly, I know one day it will come back to haunt her. My ex husband will most likely cheat on her too, and if not, they deserve each other. They are both horrible people.
I know that I can look back with pride knowing I took the high road. I have something she will never have. Self respect, honesty, and I can sleep at night knowin that I have never treated anyone with as much intentional heartbreak as she has.

Be strong, be confident, act like you don't care about her at all. That will confuse her and hurt her more than any tyre slashing or graffiti ever will.

When I see her I just smile knowingly and don't say anything.

Good luck and I'm sorry you are going through this. Take care of yourself, the universe will sort the rest out. X

 I love this response. I think that at the end of the day you can tell your kids that you conducted yourself with grace and dignity, you are a much better person for it. One day my kids will be old enough and want to know the truth and I will honestly be able to say that I held myself to a high standard.
helpful (6) 
 Wow you are amazing, I love that you smile at her because you do know that if he cheated on you he isn't much of a catch and most certainly will on her. I bet that is always on the other woman's mind.
helpful (6) 
 How do you do this??? I’m so angry I want to scream at him and tell him I’m gone but I can’t leave just yet. My only option is being patient saving and then leave, but how do I do this without hurting him, because some part of me really really wants to hurt him!
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My Hubby didn't physically cheat, but there was messages sent between him and an old girlfriend of a sexual and personal nature. She was married with kids too.
I got my revenge on her, because it was easier than dealing with the problems in my marriage; I let her take 100% of the blame.
I have never regretted it, she knew he was married and yes, I know my Husband was at fault too, but I don't care I don't regret what I did to her.

 What did you do???
helpful (11) 

Why don't you tell her husband? I don't mean as a way of revenge... But doesn't he deserve to know?

 Yes I was wondering the same, it's not revenge he should know if you know.
helpful (4) 

I let it go, the satisfaction of being the bigger person was enough. But I used to fantasize about the horrible things I would do if I was a bitch. These days, I couldn't give a ripped fig about that skank or my ex. I'm too busy enjoying my awesome life their shenanigans allowed me to create.

I'd be more angry at my husband for betraying my trust than some s**t.

 Was just coming to say the same thing!! Yes she was in the wrong but if you can forgive your hubby you gotta let her go too. He is the one that cheated on you. Not her
helpful (8) 
OP Oh don't worry he's had his share of anger, hurt tears and horrible things said and done. Yes he was the one that cheated, but so did she. On her husband. He never found out. Why did we have to go through all the hurt, pain and anger when she doesn't have to.
But maybe you are right, and maybe that's why it still affects me so grately, and prevented me from being able to forgive him, because I have to forgive her to be able to do that.

helpful (0) 
 I think saying that she isn't responsible is a cop out. Yes, it was the husband that 'cheated', but why does she get away with it? Why do women always say it's not her fault. It is her fault. It is his fault. The most important thing is that it is not YOUR fault!
helpful (11) 
 Of course its her fault too and dont get me wrong i would be fuming!!!
But in some instances not necessarily this one, women take the man back with barely a slap on the wrist yet want to kill the woman. It takes 2 to tango. Just saying if shes moving forward with her husband she needs to let her go too

helpful (8) 

I got revenge on both of them. I got every cent I could in my settlement and don't work so I have the kids most of the time, he has to pay a lot of child support.

 😒 so you used your kids to "get back at him"
That's good parenting 😑

helpful (3) 
 Haha, umm, no, if he is going to do what he did, he is not father material. So he should pay up and let the responsible parent raise the kids and restart a life of her own. Fair is fair.
helpful (4) 
 How does having an affair not make someone good father material? They are not related. Makes him a bad partner, yes, bad father? How?
helpful (1) 
 My kids stopped seeing their dad once they worked out he had been having an affair. They realised what he was doing all the times he was "working late" rather than spending time with them. My oldest told him remember what comes around goes around.
helpful (3) 
 Hm.
Then you have allowed your children to think it was there fault??
I don't know about you but when my relationship ended i fully explained to my children it was because mummy and daddy weren't right for each other and if we were avoiding the home its because we didn't want to see each other and argue.

helpful (0) 
 My kids worked it out for themselves, I can't tell them how to feel about it. I have encouraged them to have a relationship with their dad, but after years of him being too busy to spend time with them they are not longer interested. I think they will eventually see their dad on their terms, but I doubt they will ever speak to his partner. They are right what comes around goes around.
helpful (4) 
 ^this is really sad all round :(
helpful (1) 

Not to a mistress but to my ex (who was on dating sites our entire relationship) I made lots of fake profiles on kinky weird fetish sites, and dating sites, listing his "interests" as messed up sexual stuff and left his real number saying leave a graphic message and his and email saying send me porno shots.

 Sounds like my husband, he thinks it's ok and that I don't mind though Iv voiced my displeasure a lot!
helpful (1) 
 Weak
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Maybe karma is waiting for the perfect time to happen and then boom right in front of you something happens and you get to smile.

OP from way back here: I ended up leaving him 2 years ago. I couldn’t move past it.
The revenge ended up happening naturally. I moved on, the kids are much happier and my boyfriend is gorgeous inside and out.
The mistress did me a favour really. I should thank her next time I see her around.

 I'm happy to read This!
helpful (0) 
 Thanks for the update! I was just wondering if you had stayed together
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 That's the best update ever
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 I thanked my ex fiancé (from over 20years ago) for cheating on me. Gave him a huge hug and told him I have lived an awesome life that I would not have if I stayed with him, I congratulated them on their marriage which was two years prior to me seeing them and told them they were obviously meant for each other.
I also couldn’t help myself and congratulated her on her pregnancy and told her she is glowing (I knew damn well that she was not pregnant and had had a hysterectomy a few months prior, extremely overweight) meh bitch maybe but their actions scarred me for a good few years!

helpful (2) 

Well all the asian brothels between Brisbane and Gold Coast are still open so... no I haven’t set fire to them yet

My revenge was dumping his a*s and he went with her. Haha have him, he's your problem now.

I chose to take the high road and the best revenge is a good life. Saying that I did have a friend who's husband was cheating well his mistresses husband sent a registered letter meaning only the husband could sign for it and told him what his wife had been doing with her husband...pure gold she got home all her stuff was on the front lawn, my friends husband came home and all his stuff was on the lawn too.
I do believe karma will bite at some point 👍

I hacked the Facebook page and changed her name to obscenities lol as well as changed their sexual orientation and a few other little truths lol.
If you have her mobile stick up a personal ad.

 How do you hack a fb page?
helpful (7) 
 I doubt this is true, although its possible but its very illegal and the sort of things police look into.
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 It is true. I had his password lol. It lasted only 24 or so hours but enough for ppl to notice
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 Police dony look into that shit. Hack away. Too hard to prove anything
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 My ex hacked my Facebook. Didnt change anything, he was just stalking me. All I got off the police was "just change your password then so he can't." And I had message proof where he's going off about things hes read in my Facebook messages amd admitting he'd done it
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 ^Is the bastard completely out of your life now? I hope so ♥️
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I ended up finding her husband on Facebook and sent him a message detailing everything that had happened over the last 4 years. She was pregnant at the time so not much was done, but at least he is aware. She's had the baby now and I think it might be my ex's, his name started with Jas and the kid has Jazz... I know she's living a miserable existence being in her marriage but still being in love with my ex. Suck shit b##ch... I hope you know the same pain as I do after you came between my marriage and hurt my kids. Oh does it feel sweet 😈

 Lmao shouldn't it be your ex that you should be shitty at.
helpful (1) 
 Oh I was shitty with my ex. That's why our divorce will be final next month. And I made his life hell until he moved out.
helpful (3) 
 You mean you made your kids and his life hell
helpful (2) 
 ^No he did
helpful (5)