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My husband has been seeing a prostitute.

I went through my husbands phone and discovered he’s being seeing a prostitute, I googled her and she’s in her 20s and a few suburbs away, I’m absolutely gutted.

Our sex life has been lacking the last few years.

At this point I’ve had a few days to digest it all, he acts totally normal.

Help!

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Answers (9)

I'm so sorry. I think you need to get ready to leave in secret then confront him. Take pics of all his phone msgs for evidence. He's an a hole as he's not even trying to hide it. U definitely deserve better

Book her to come over when you're both home and film hos reaction. Go viral make $$$$ from selling your story and live it up while he will never get a date again... mwahahaha

 Best advice ever!!!!!!!!!! Freaken gold
helpful (0) 

I’ve been through this in 2016. To date I still can’t get over it. My husband was numerous girls, numerous brothels, and massage parlours. Do what I wasn’t brave enough to do, don’t hurt yourself anymore, go find a man who will love you and cherish you for who you are. No body deserves this. Especially when they can act so normal and like nothing happened. I truly feel for you. I am surprised it’s been days and you’ve said nothing. I lost it the moment I saw the texts. It’s a feeling I can’t describe I dropped to my knees and threw up on the floor, I could say in all honestly I felt my heart break

 I'm so sorry xxxxxxxxxx
helpful (8) 
 Can u trust him now? U know u could still leave just make it a longer term plan and get counselling to help u feel stronger just do it when yr ready and say I've tried to move past this and cant I'm not saying u should leave if things are better and u know u can trust him and he's tried to win u back but if not start getting ducks in a row good woman xxxx
helpful (0) 
 Aww ♥ this made me tear up. ♥♥♥ heart break is such a real feeling. It's a killer ♥♥. I'm so sorry
helpful (3) 
 I don’t trust him now, not ever! I try and he tries to but if it was once maybe... but the fact it was 2 years and so many. That’s not a mistake to me
helpful (3) 
 I don't want to sound rude when I ask this, but how can you/how do you stay with someone you can't trust? Doesn't it eat you up inside too much?
helpful (2) 
 Yes it eats me up but I have a number of factors to consider
helpful (2) 
 no actually he can financially support me while I finish my law degree! So it my turn to get what I want before I leave! I don’t suck I’m setting myself and my children up before going. Take a sear
helpful (7) 
 Hey hon don't worry about the trolls that are here to stir they are just like schoolyard bullies ignore them it takes away their power. What a sad life they lead to bring someone down the way they do. Listen I can totally understand staying while you get your degree I nearly left my hubby while I was studying but realised life would be impossible if I did. Lucky for us I guess life got better and I stayed but actually it was my psychologist who taught me u don't have to make an immediate rash decision to leave it can come over time and you can prepare to leave when you're in a better space and that's ok. Try also when you get spare time from studying and kids to start a nice hobby just for u, book club or gym etc to help build interests and strengths on your own. It sounds like hubby is trying but gosh he's got a lot to make up for and you certainly wouldn't be blamed for needing to move on. I wish you all the very best xxx
helpful (7) 

that happened to my relationship too. After nearly 10 years I couldn't stay.

I think whilst you deserve to know some details you should move on without him.

Despite what many people say, a lacking sex life is no excuse to go outside your marriage, I don't care what anyone says. I feel women get a very bad rap for this. But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if he ran into some health problems or impotency problems and could not perform sexually? Then what? No excuse. So so incredibly unfair.
OP you do not deserve this, he has completely broken his marriage vows to you and he is being deceitful on top of it.
As hard as it is, I would not confront him yet. Get your head around it all first, go and speak to trusted friends or relatives (key word trustworthy), build up your support base, see a lawyer and figure out your financial position.
Please don't think I am saying to necessarily leave but he is spending marital funds on a prostitute for goodness sake so I urge you to please take care of yourself and your kids if you have any. Please please please take care of all these things FIRST and THEN see if your marriage is salvageable.
All the very best, my heart goes out to you, I have been in a similar situation and I wish I had the strength to do all these things
.

Gather evidence,make a decision, bring it up. Make sure you have enough money to leave or a place to go if needed

Has he fallen in love with the hooker? I don't think so. Many men look at stray sex like a game of golf. Play and put the clubs in the boot with not much emotion till the next time they play. I suggest you get busy with a few good head jobs and get his attention back. He will stop with the hookers. You said yourself sex have been patchy. Well, take the patches out of it.

 It's really not the point though. It might mean nothing to him. But it clearly does to op. If I knew my husband had been inside a prostitute while we were together, there is no way I'd have his dick in my mouth!
helpful (9) 
 I'm curious to know if the op of this comment is male?
helpful (5) 
 ^^^Sounds like it and very bad advice. I would hate to be married to someone like that...oh hang on, I was. Note, WAS.
helpful (2) 
 I agree, shit advice. Ditch him and get someone else's attention. Permanently.
helpful (1) 
 This is advice from someone with no emotions
helpful (1) 

So he paid a prostitute for sex whilst you were sick and is still seeing them? I commend him for not having an affair and getting emotionally involved. Some men’s needs are to great and need a woman. If he is paying for it then he still loves you. Pretend you don’t know and start taking care of things at home. If he still strays then put your plan in place. There are men out there that have affairs with coworkers and their wives are not sick and are still having sex with them as well.

 That was a commenters situation not the OP
helpful (0) 
 If you’re in a relationship it doesn’t matter the circumstances. Sickness, money etc... cheating is cheating no matter who it is with
helpful (3) 
 I'm starting to think it should be mandatory that comments identify what gender the responder is...
helpful (2) 
 Um what? Nope. Still wrong
helpful (1) 
 This sounds like advice from a woman whos husband had an affair & somehow thinks this woman is better off than she was. Stop projecting sweetie.
helpful (1) 
 You're an idiot
helpful (0)