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How to stop comparing?

How to stop wondering how my friends afforded a 200 series in a much lower salary than ours? How to stop seeing other people's lives on facebook and instagram and feel that we are missing out?


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Answers (16)

Think about what YOU post on s.m.
Do you post every pitfall and every peak? Or do you select what highlights to post? Do you take 400 photos of every moment in an effort to get the perfect one? Or do you live that moment and only get photos some times?
As for people affording things, assume they paid on credit card. Be happy for them, but assume they'll be paying it off for the next 10 years.

The problem with social media is that it's designed to show the highlights of our lives. It's not meant to show that you woke up at 2am and couldn't go back to sleep until you ripped out a massive fart. It doesn't show the pure joy on your childs face when they nail that cartwheel. It shows staged moments (unless you keep a camera rolling on you at all times).
Take a step back, see it for what it is. And if you need to, take a break from it for a while. It's amazing how different you feel once you come down from the instant gratification high.

And just think, when you run in to your old classmate at Coles, and she tries to make you jealous of her "so fabulous, amazing, great life": you can let it brush off. Because you can remember how great your life is. And you don't even need to post it all online.

Get off social media. I firmly believe more than half the people who have active accounts are not strong enough for it.

Easy. Get rid of social media like that.
I did. Now life is real.

Be happy for them and set your own goals. Personally having stuff doesn’t make me happy. I live in a rich area and on my Covid walks I admire my neighbors homes some of them are magnificent. I notice a lot of people with two or three expensive cars in the driveway and I think nah having that, wouldn’t make me happy. I value time so if I had more of that I would be happier. I also enjoy experience so when it’s not Covid restricted I am out a lot. Being social and fit makes me happy.

 Same. So true.
helpful (1) 
 ❤ Love this answer..
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I think that's just how we measure our worth and success, and unfortunately social media gives us such unrealistic standards to measure ourselves against. We all have that friend who posts everything on social media and makes everyone else feel like shit. (You know, the one who posts the photo of a hundred presents under the Christmas tree on Christmas eve). You really need to stop following them, I have a friend who's entire life is on Facebook. Every purchase, every play date, every outing. I used to feel jealous but now I feel bad for her, because she posts all that crap, and buys all that crap because she feels like she has to keep up with what everyone else has got and posts on Facebook. She looks like she has it made, but in reality she has thousands of dollars in credit card debt, just to keep up with the jonses. Don't compare yourself to what others are doing, social media is awful and soul destroying. It's so unrealistic.

I think you need to look at what you're not happy with in your own life.
I used to be very bothered by people who didn't appear to work as hard as me buying houses before me and getting deposits from mum/dad etc. But that came from a place of myself not being happy with my own life, nothing to do with anyone else. Made some changes, much happier now, and now I'm in a place where i can be happy for other people. Still don't own a house either 😂 but happy with my lot

Most people only post a small snippet of truth on social media. You don’t know how they could afford it. Maybe they went without a lot so they could get that one thing they really wanted. Maybe they got an inheritance, a loan, a gift. We all try to post our little achievements on social media, it’s easy to do that than to post our downfalls. If you were to look at mine you wouldn’t know of the weeks I went without food so my kids could eat, or the time I was going to end my own life because it was all too much, or the time that I was in such an emotionally abusive relationship that I ended up with depression. You’d see my kids out and about, you’d see my accomplishments and you’d see a lot of smiles. Comparing your whole life to another persons highlight reel is like comparing your swimming skill to a shark.

Think of social media like a movie. Fake. People only post what they want you to see. If you can’t see that then delete it.

As for your friends, who knows? Maybe they are in heaps of debt. Maybe they were gifted money. None of your business, and do people really think about that kind of thing?

 For a car that costs $123,000 yeah I see them and wonder how people afford them!
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 ^ do you? I don’t. Maybe because I don’t really care? If they want to waste that kind if money on a car then good on them. What does it have to do with you?
helpful (1) 
 I never said I think anything negative about them, I just want to know how I can afford one!
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 ^but why do you want to know? How is it your business?
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I dont know how anyone can afford a 200 series unless they get some kind of business write-off! Is it some kind of work car?

Social media cultivates an image of what some people want others to see, and not what is real.

Easy don't be on social media or at least the ones that trigger you like Facebook. If it doesn't make you happy don't be a part of it.
They can't afford all those things they're financed up to their eyeballs. All good when the money's coming in but their world will fall apart if something goes wrong. Stay in the safe zone.

I unfollowed everyone on fb and just have stuff im interested in on my feed. Maybe your friends got a loan or saved up, we are all on different paths.