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What are the lessons you have learned from an affair, if you were the wayward or the betrayed?

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My ex and I cheated on each other so much... I think I had about 4 six month affairs over the first 7 years we were together, as well as him sleeping around and having emotional affairs online that eventually turned into real life sex. But we were so young when we got together and I would never cheat on my new partner as I have grown up soooo much and realise if I'm so unhappy that I'm seeking out an affair, I really should end my relationship first. As for my ex, he has only ever entered into casual relationships since, where it's not monogamous, so it's clear he realised monogamy isn't for him. It just took us 15 years of marriage/2 children to work out who we are. We tried hard to make it work due to us having a family, but neither of us really wanted to change. But I believe you can change, I know no amount of temptation would make me cheat on my new husband.

How do you tell a friend that her hubby is cheating? When he knows that I know. I want her to find out or to tell her without ruining the friendship

 As someone who has been in a similar situation, it almost added to the humiliation that other people knew. Almost like you are a nobody in it. It makes the situation worse when others know and don't tell you. Humiliating, demoralising, horrible.
helpful (1) 
 Almost like another betrayal, another secret kept from you.
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 Tell her.
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Not so much learned, but wow I loved to be fisted(with lots of lube)

Some of you ladies are so strong. I don't think I could stay with my hubby if he slept with someone else let alone a long affair with someone else. Xx

 I agree, yes, and a long affair would end it for me for sure. Both types are devastating, absolutely but how do you come back from a long term affair?
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I had no idea how addictive it would be. I have tried to end my long term affair multiple times. I’m not even attracted to him anymore but it’s the lows from the withdrawal that pull me back.

 I hope ur partner finds out and ends it with you.
helpful (3)