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I suggested this to another poster, we have the golden hour at my house. It's quiet time. No talking to me. No noisy toys. No loud music. No movies with explosions and gunfire.... They can read, play a quiet board game, color, watch tv with low volume... it gives us all a little time to regroup before dad gets home and dad 15-20 mins to get in and settle down before he is attacked by screeching children and moody teens.
Love them very much all the same
We don't allow tattling. Tattlers get the same punishment as the offender. When my house got out of hand I took everything away and grounded them all to their rooms to do book reports. This went on for 2 weeks and then I was back in charge.
I took the TV away from Monday morning until Friday arvo because they turned into zombies and wouldn't listen to me. We played board games, coloured, other games etc instead. Its made a huge difference and I feel like we've connected as a family again.
Distraction, order, routine, and fixed activities. I also go with a you need to help each other approach, so a game or activity where they have to work together. Get these things done to stop the bickering and fighting. Work on your assertiveness. Respect is not given it is earnt and a two way street. I get down to their level and talk, sometimes I ask them what's up and why we haven't been working as a family unit together but fighting against each other. My youngest is 3 so it does make a difference given they are older.