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I only married because my husband wanted to and I wanted to have the same last name. Really I should have just changed my name. It made really no affect on our relationship. I am not really a big believer in "marriage" but more in life partners. However if this is something that is important to you than your feelings are very valid. Why doesn't your partner want to get married? Do you believe their reason or does it sound like a cop out? Is it a deal breaker for you and it is okay if it is. You don't have to stay with someone who doesn't want the same things as you.
I am married, but now I’m older I feel like it’s not that big a deal. Essentially it’s a lot of hoo ha and money spent on a big party for people you rarely see.
What are their reasons for not wanting to get married? I knew someone that their reason was fear based (previous bad marriage) once they overcame that obstacle it was fine... they got married.
Sure, having kids is a bigger commitment in my eyes. I am married as we both wanted to, but getting married has had absolutely zero effect on our relationship. If I wasn't interested in kids I'd still stay with someone if they didn't want to get married.
If you get maried and divorce with out kids you never have to see that person again. If you have kids with them, you have committed to having that person in your life for a long time like it or not.
About the kids. It isn’t the same as marriage at all.
Having a child with someone is committing to a life that involves that person in one way or another. You can’t go back on the choice.
Getting married is not an irrevocable commitment. You can always go back on it.
Ergo , kids are a bigger commitment.
With my ex it was a deal breaker, he didn't and I did but in the end it was because of my desire to that we split up, I made such a big deal out of it.
Anyway fast forward to now, and I don't want to marry my long term partner, we landed a wedding and split up the week it was meant to go ahead, and even though we reconciled not too long after that and have been together several more years I am adamant I do not want to be married. Doesn't mean I want to split up, I just don't want to be married right now
I was happy to not get married. But it was really important to my husband to get married.
Friends have been together since 20’s. Still together 70 years old now. Never married. So happy. Probably the happiest couple I know