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First ever step kid issue- not sure where to go from here? Opinions please :)

My OH is away for work. Step childs mother got rejected having time off (although previously approved) and asked me to watch step kid. No issues there- i am in holidays with mine and OHs 2 kids. Today at the park step kid (7) bit hit and pushed a kid over, myself and the other mother ran over to stop it. She (random lady) told my step son that it is unacceptable behaviour and i agreed. Her kid did nothing to provoke my step son. My step son called her a fat C and told her to fuc off because he doesnt have to listen to some random bitch... OMG!!!!! I was horrified, said sorry repeatidly and left. Messaged his mother about what had happened and she told me to smack his arse red raw. Normally he is a good kid- i dont know what to do. Ive spoke to him- he is showing no remorse at all, and ive sent him to his room. OH is uncontactable. What the hell do i do... no triggers beforehand, usually great polite kid, mother is stern but lovely... (and no i didnt smack him)...


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Answers (12)

I think you did the right thing by not smacking, that could have come back to bite you further down the track if any issues arise, leave that for the parents. I know its unacceptable behavior regardless but are you sure it was unprovoked? If you and other mum had to run then I'm guessing you weren't in earshot. Kids can say the cruelest things and I've spent 3 years working in a school and know that these 'random' attacks are usually provoked by some passive aggressive bully. Also when school goes back suggest he sees the school psych 😊

Where does he get the language from ? I know its everywhere but he's used it in the right context and for a kid that age to be saying it like that it must be built in to his language. Punish him, but please don't treat him like an animal. That is disgusting and I can't believe people think its ok to treat a child like that. Make it clear its the behavior you are disgusted with, not him. Random outbursts like that from an otherwise well behaved kid should have both patents worried and seeing a psych.

Jesus, you're lucky the other lady understood. I would have been horrified if I heard that come our of a little boys mouth. Where is he hearing these things???

Be firm and put your foot down. Don't give in to anything he wants and give him the cold shoulder until he gets rids of that bratty attitude!

I agree he's testing to see what he can get away with and at that age? Take everything away (tv, iPad, computer etc) and give him bread and water for meals and he can stay in his room until he shows remorse and tells you how he will properly handle it next time. If you back down down, he'll find other ways to get to you so be strong x

it sounds like there is something going on for him especially as this is out of character. Once things have settled please have a good chat with him about how he is.

Omg I am so horrified for you. If that was my step son, I would be taking away every single thing he owns and sitting him in a room with nothing until his father gets home to deal with him.
He has learnt that behaviour from somewhere is acceptable, so shaming him or beating him will teach him nothing.
Find some YouTube videos about kids that have been bullied, the ones that have their parents crying and so forth, and open his eyes to what behaviour like that does to people and that it's not ok. Ask him if somebody treated his mum/brother/sister like that how that would make him feel after.
I feel for you, tough situation!

Oh dear. Tricky one. I would have smacked and put in room.

He is testing you for sure. Deal with it exactly as you would deal with your own children if they had acted this way. He's in your family and in your care, his mother sounds reasonable and I'm sure will agree with how you choose to handle it.
Good luck step parenting can be so hard at times xx

what a little shit ....he need to be ignored and don't give him dessert or sweets and give him bread ( crust ) and water

 Bread and water ? What fu****g year do you think it is ????
helpful (12) 
 You don't even know this child to make such a harsh comment.
Any fit parent knows you really shouldn't be using food as a punishment.

helpful (4) 

If he wants to behave like an animal, treat him like one. He can eat his meals outside out of a doggy bowl (obviously clean it first) and he can receive no good boy benefits until he's ready to apologise to YOU for behaving like that while you're looking after him. If your kids are watching tv he can be outside or in his bedroom alone. He doesn't get to enjoy family time if he is going to behave that way.

 Wtf please don't make him eat from a dog bowl OP
helpful (7) 
 This suggestion sounds like borderline abuse! :-o
helpful (6)