Got an Answer?
He left with your daughter for 10 months... and he wants one of his mates from London to meet her... and you are considering it because you feel bad even though he is a unsafe parent..
Did I fu****g read this right?
Honestly, if it were me I’d just say no. Normally I’m all about fathers rights, but when he took your daughter for 10 months then he lost his rights. What a self entitled piece of shit he is.
Thanks everyone and yes my answer was already no. But I think sometimes I doubt myself that I’m doing my daughter wrong and I need to stop doing that. I think some of his nasty messages got me this morning and made me feel shitty. I don’t know who this friend is or why he needs to meet our daughter but it isn’t happening
Quick question, why does he want his mate from London to meet your daughter? Maybe it's from my lack of sleep, or maybe because I just read an article about sex trafficking, but that seems like a big ole red flag to me. Like "hey my girlfriend showers with our 9 year old daughter (presumably your 9 year old is capable of washing her own hair and body), and also talks about her boobs and yours (wtaf, why does the OPs boobs come into a sex ed convo, when it's not even her involved in the conversation?!), I've previously ran off and kept our girl from you, and oh yeah, my mate from overseas is coming to visit they totally need to meet".
Red. Fu****g. Flags. Everywhere.
"You know what ex? I'd LOVE to meet this friend too, I remember you speaking so fondly of him, why don't we all meet at a park or play centre?"
"Given the previous incidents, you can meet her at a supervised visitor centre, or nah not happening. Until we have all the court paperwork sorted"
"It's not happening. But from 7:20-8 each night, she'll be ready for your skype/phone call. So she can talk with you and tell you about what's going on in her life, and you can do the same. Every night. Until we get the court paperwork sorted"
The guy sounds like a creepy dick.
Go to dinner too? Not at the same table but just go there too. I'm assuming when he took off with her it was years ago and you had obviously built enough trust again to leave her with him but the shower/drugs incidents put an end to that. So I don't think it's fair to hold that against him now when you obviously got past it already. Tell him why you aren't letting him see her and give him the chance to lift his game. Get it put in a court order.
Say his friend is welcome to attend the supervised visit with your ex, but that's the most accommodating I'd be, given his history.
"Ok, I'll meet you at x restaurant. I'll be eating there too. If you don't feel comfortable with me joining you, I'll get a table nearby.
Your ex partners friend sounds creepy