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My partner works and I don't I care for our kids and am heavily preg, my partner comes home from work and yes sits on his bum for abit but has no problems helping me clean kitchen cook dinners and what not. Our cleaning is about 60/40 and he is an absolute champion. Wage has nothing to do with it, and whilst he works HE says to me I work too. He sits down at lunch etc I don't get too! I'm chasing kids.
Wow that is incredibly rude of him. I am a stay at home mum and my husband still contributes to the housework. Everyone has bad days and I expect that if my partner can see that then he would do things to make my day easier. I have never even had to ask him as i would assume it is just common courtesy to show compassion for someone you love. When he has had a bad day I try to do something special for him as well. Everyone lives in the house, therefore everyone should contribute. If I were you I would sit down and have a discussion about how it makes you feel when he says things like this and that he is expected to pull his weight regardless of income. If he doesn't listen then start a chore list of 50/50 cleaning up after the kids then you only cook/clean for yourself. He will soon realise how ridiculous he is being and see how negatively his attitude contributes to your relationship.
I was in this situation when I went back to work. I tried talking about it and was told no he didn't have time to help. I gave him a few jobs like mowing the lawn ironing his own shirts and making dinner on Sunday nights. He took his shirts into be ironed and ignored the rest. I got sick of cleaning all weekend so I hired a cleaner once a fortnight. She does a thorough clean and changes sheets too. I got someone to mow the lawns and buy ready made meals from a catering company. Its barely worth working but only only do a quick clean on weekends now.
Whywere you doing more before if you both work?
This lie perpetuated from this era is a trap and it's time to break free. These men need to step up and do their part.
i work a rotating roster over 7 days roughly 11 hours a day. i do all housework, groceries and everything as my husband says he works too hard he refuses to do anything.
That's a pretty bad sign. I would be asking wtf too.
I think what's happened is while you've been home you have been doing all the housework and his life became much easier. He doesn't want it to return to the way it was as life is good for him. I can understand, but it's pretty bloody selfish.
check this out
“What we’ve seen is that sharing equal responsibility for work in the home doesn’t necessarily contribute to contentment,” said Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled “Equality in the Home”.
The lack of correlation between equality at home and quality of life was surprising, the researcher said.
“One would think that break-ups would occur more often in families with less equality at home, but our statistics show the opposite,” he said.
The figures clearly show that “the more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate,” he went on.
I think the longer commute does matter but ultimately it should be about getting equal down time. Wheres yours if you work full time and do everything? I would not put up with that type of attitude
It's about 95/5 in my house but I don't work. I also distribute 10 percent to the kids as chores
How does earning more mean doing less around the house? Before I became a SAHM, and I was working full time, my husband and I split everything down the middle. Now, I do most of it and that is my choice.