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Not inviting siblings to birthday party

I'm a single mum organising a birthday at an indoor play centre for my child. He's only allowed to invite a few good friends due to the cost. I don't mind if parents brought any siblings to come play but it would be at their own expense and they wouldn't be part of the food etc for the party... I just can't afford it. What's a nice way to write this on the invite? Please no nasty comments. Thanks

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Answers (15)

‘Siblings are welcome at entry cost’. It isn’t rude. Any parent who expects you to pay for siblings are very unreasonable. I can’t imagine any parent would expect you to pay TBH. I’ve had parties at a number of venues that have an entry fee and I always put something like that on the invites.

 Oh and also, you might find very little food gets eaten as the kids are usually more interested in play than eating, so don’t be concerned about the food. I would t even mention that.
helpful (3) 
 Or bring your own plate
helpful (0) 
 Most play centres do not allow food from outside. But you can always buy food from siblings there.
helpful (0) 

Siblings at own expense please
Thanks for understanding

I am more concerned about the fact people dont rsvp...so i write, please rsvp by the due date so that i cant cater for your child, otherwise i will assume he/she is not coming.

I've never thought of this! I've always just invited the child (with their name on the invite) and it's never been an issue.
I'd never expect someone to pay for all my children to attend a birthday party if only one of them was officially invited.
I think you'll be okay x

OP Thanks, so do you think I should just not mention it altogether?
helpful (0) 
 I wouldn't mention it myself but only because I think it would be unbelievably rude if the parents expected you to pay for the siblings.

helpful (1) 

I think you're over thinking it. I thought it went without saying that parents are to cover entry cost of siblings and the party food is just for the invited child. I just took all 4 kids to a play centre party and paid entry for three of them - spent $5 on a bit of food there for them. Often the kids barely eat and the siblings and parents can finish off the leftovers anyway.

I always assume I pay for siblings if a party is at a play centre.

My kids are 18 months apart in age and I didn't have anyone to care for the other one if the first one got invited to a party and was too young to be left alone there. Out of politeness I would've always ask the host I feel i could bring the sibling at my cost but would they mind organising a party bag for my child or the whinging would make it a hellish few hours following the party.

 Nope, why give a child a party bag just because it's easier than saying no? My eldest is 2 yrs older than the next child and has been to lots of parties. I would never expect or ask someone to provide a lolly bag for them. The eldest would sometimes share a few things but that was his decision and not expected. You need to teach children right from the get go that they are not going to get the same things etc. And that sometimes it's not fair.

OP - just put on your invite that siblings are welcome at parents cost and add a price list. As another poster said don't worry too much about food as the parents would/should feed the siblings (I do as they are not a part of the party and I tell my child that) and even if they don't you will find you will have leftovers anyway as they will be too busy playing.

helpful (7) 
 ^^ gosh that is rude. Why not make up your own party bag if you dont want hours of whinging? Or better yet, use it as an opportunity to either teach about sharing. Or that sometimes you don’t always get what the other sibling gets.

I have always had a surplus of party bags so siblings always get one, but never has a parent asked me for one.

helpful (6) 
 I know how you feel, I hate lolly bags!! I always do extras for siblings, but if there isn't one for siblings I just say no thanks to lolly bags.
helpful (0) 
 So your invited child misses out if there isn't enough lolly bags for siblings? I have 4 kids and they just learn to deal with it, I have never stopped them receiving or asked for extra lolly bags just to keep the peace.
helpful (3) 
 Not everyone likes their kids being give bags of crap to take home.
helpful (1) 
 Poor kid :( that's sad.
helpful (0) 
 I wrote the original comment. When my kids were 4 and 2.5 it's not worth the whinging. I always buy an extra good present in return for the extra party bag plus the eldest was going to parties every second weekend and the little one didn't. I usually buy a small gift for the birthday child's sibling too. Plenty of time for life lessons when the kids are older. Nice to see them have fun instead.
helpful (1) 
 I agree and its mean especially as the older children get the party invites not the little ones. Don't worry about trollys comments, it's the same person always arguing on every single answer on every question on this site. When she has kids I'm sure she will understand, just wait for her to post a poll about you 😂.
helpful (1) 
 Having a difference of an opinion doesn't make someone a troll! I am so over hearing that bloody word. It's no wonder that kids are so stinking precious when their own parents get so butt hurt when strangers on the internet don't agree with them.
helpful (0) 
 I imagine you are over that word as you must hear it a lot. A difference of opinion doesn't make you a troll, having a difference of opinion with several people, on several threads on many questions makes you a troll. I have read your nasty comments on about three different questions today. How many forums have you been blocked from? I think it might be time for some help x.
helpful (0) 
 Different poster, I have made one response already on this comment, and one on another comment. They are not all from one person. Just because everyone doesn't agree doesn't mean they are all trolls.
helpful (0) 
 Ok poppy. Try to be less obvious, your posts are as pathetic as the 3 line troll.
helpful (0) 

No one will expect you to pay for siblings, but maybe mention that siblings are not invited to the food part, as it's usually in a separate room and supervising both kids couple be difficult. Parents might need to work out other arrangements for siblings.

It should go without saying but I don't think it's rude. My 7yo was invited to a party last weekend and the local pool, so hubby and I took miss 4, we paid for us 3 and had a great time. Was good for us as 1 child didn't show so my 4yo took her lolly bag haha. But miss 4 knew she wouldn't get one as it was a party for her sister to attend and she was fine about it. Extra lolly bag was just a bonus :)

Is this really that big of a problem? I’ve hosted quite a few birthday parties over the entire years and have never had anyone ask to bring their other kids.

I don’t think parents will be expecting you to pay for sibs.

I have always invited siblings. My son got some great mates from his big sisters little brothers. If you have a pool party you will find that entry to the pool for a parent and their kids free entry with the kid going to the party. Then I just make sandwiches, and take everything else with me. My friend had it in a park and the dads coordinated a soccer and cricket match, she bought all the food from home. Another did a party at home the only expense was Batman . Use your imagination ladies.

We just don't go if all kids are not invited, it's too bloody hard when one gets fed, cake and lollies to bring home and the other missed out. The only thing worse than a birthday party suger hangover is an upset sibling.

 Why don’t you pay for and order Food for the other siblings then you ungrateful entitled bugger - they do have cafes and food / lollies available you know 🙄 be thankful you’re even invited and I child is paid for let alone the rest of your entitled tribe, some parents 🙄🙄
helpful (6) 
 Because then I have to attempt to supervise one kid while they are eating doing the cake part and that's usually in a separate room, if the other sibling is there they will eat the food. I can't just get a table feed the other kid because I still need to watch the other. Then the upsets over one lolly bag and two kids. It's a nightmare that I just avoid. Close friends usually invite both, we just don't go to parties at play centres if one child is invited.
helpful (1) 
 Wow. I have 4 kids and I use parties as a way to reinforce that we don't all get to do everything every time. If one child is invited, that is their party for their friend and they go and have a great time. I don't expect anything from the party parent, and if they do offer a lolly bag or cake for my other kids I usually decline and explain that I've told my kids that there's nothing for them. It all evens out in the end and my kids are learning not to be entitled to something just for showing up. Sometimes you miss out because life sucks and things aren't fair.
helpful (7) 
 Lol that's just cruel, there are much better ways to teach kids it's not always about them than to make sit and watch other kids get lollies and cake while they miss out, that's a fantastic way to teach them life is a popularity contest. There are much better ways to spend an afternoon than eating sugar and trans fat filled food in a god awful play centre.
helpful (2) 
 If you invited 8 friends woukd you pay for extra 20 kids ?
helpful (2) 
 Omg. I don't think I'd want you or your kids at my child's party. Go for it, stay away. Your kids are the ones missing out in the end, because they miss the outside of school social interaction. Just wow. Just wow wow wow. Your poor kids when they grow up and realise that life isn't fair. What a shock to the system that is going to be.
helpful (3) 

I agree
My sons fiends some have one or two siblings and one friend has 8 Siblings and not paying for 8 extra kids

Wow do you really need to include that on invitations now? Since when did parents think it was OK to take siblings to birthday parties, especially these kind? So rude. I would write the invited childs name on the invitation and just write 'invites only' on the bottom, which I wouldn't thought you would have to do until they are teenagers 😂.

 Cos when you have to stay at a party as is the case with young kids, and you have no one else to watch your other kids, rather than your child missing out on every single party, wouldn’t it be ok to ask the host if the sibling can come? Why is intrude? And if it’s at a play centre you can’t really stop anyone brining a sibling because you’re not paying for their entry. You can of course not allow them into the party area though.
helpful (0)