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How to cope as an adult without any friends.

Answered 22 days ago

I feel so incredibly lonely. I have mu husband and im pregnant with no 3 bit im so lonely. I dont have 1 friend. No one calls or msgs to see how I am. My husband works all the time and im always just home alone with the kids. No one even talks to me through Facebook. I feel like a failure. I cant even pretend to be happy and confident. I feel terrible for my kids because I hate playgroup, sitting on my own for 2hrs while all other mothers talk is heartbreaking.

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ANSWER
22 days ago
Same here I am 32 I was a single mum and solicitor then I met my partner moved away and had another baby. I am now stay at home and my partner has his friends goes out works and I am at home with the kids alone. Every time I reach out to an old friend or one of my only friends there is often no response or no offer to meet up unless I offer and even then that one person will cancel. I am just so lonely and would do anything for a close friend it’s heartbreaking looking at everyone’s Instagram and friends days out

ANSWER
5 years ago
Im the same 100%, im quiet and find it really hard to make friends I dont have family close by so I have no one. We have to move for my husbands work soon this will be our 3rd move in 7 years and i dont mean just up the road, hours and hours away and it makes it even harder because when we get to our new place everyone has their friendship groups and dont like to let new ppl in. I have basically given up finding a good friend.

REPLY
22 days ago
Same here I am 32 I was a single mum and solicitor then I met my partner moved away and had another baby. I am now stay at home and my partner has his friends goes out works and I am at home with the kids alone. Every time I reach out to an old friend or one of my only friends there is often no response or no offer to meet up unless I offer and even then that one person will cancel. I am just so lonely and would do anything for a close friend

ANSWER
2 months ago
I feel your pain. Maybe you have to have the courage to try and participate with the Mums - if it doesn't work (Mum clubs can be a bit bitchy) - maybe start FB messaging old friends to reach out and catch up.

ANSWER
3 months ago
I don’t know if this post is still active but I feel the same way.I’m 30,I have 4 children And have my husband but feel incredibly lonely still.Inhave acquaintances like some of you,but they never check to see how I’m doing and probably don’t even care if I was alive.I so wish I had at least one friend that I could talk to but I don’t.Makes like extremely hard.Especially seeing everyone with friends and I don’t have any:/It been like that almost my whole life but has gotten worse the older I have got.

REPLY
2 months ago
So sorry you are going through this. I was searching on Google about been tired of having no friends and came across this post. I'm now 40, I have a loving husband and 2 kids ages 5 and 3. However since I emigrated 12 years ago I've not been able to make any true friends...sure acquaintances, but nothing that 'sticks'. I will invite someone over to my house for a playdate and find its NEVER reciprocated. It breaks my heart that my 5 year old daughter has no real friends just acquaintances and I feel like a failure as a mom not been able to provide just ONE good friend for her. Even just a once a month playdate would brighten up our lives. As far as I know my house is pretty normal and clean/tidy so don't think that is off putting, I also try to be a good listener and not put myself first in friendships so I'm not sure what's wrong with me exactly. Hoping I dont come across as desperate lol with people! Praying for a good friend one day, really hope you find one (or more) too!

REPLY
2 months ago
I feel the same! Just one true friend would mean the world! Stay strong, it will happen one day 😊

ANSWER
2 months ago
I'm always lonely no friends got 2 kids 1 on the way no love in my relationship I dont work I'm also handicap always put every1 else first

ANSWER
5 years ago
I was just sItting here feeling the same way. I have no friends. I worry about dying and no one coming to my funeral and that making it worse for my husband and kids. My kids suffer for the fact I haven't made friends with other mums at school (not for lack of trying). They are never invited to anything or included with school friends brcause the mums just stick together. they Notice I never go anywhere and occasionally ask things like "who are your friends?" I have aquantances but no one who calls or messages or who cares if im here or not...sorry not helpful but you're not alone

REPLY
3 months ago
Same here 100% its hard and depressing for us and our kids.

REPLY
3 months ago
I know this was a long time ago,but I have been feeling the same way and have 0 friends ,just aquatinces.If you ever need someone to talk to I’m here ;)

ANSWER
11 months ago
Hi there not sure if this post is still online. But I am exactly the same I am 31 and have never had many friends. But in the past 3 years I literally have no one I don’t have family either. I have my wonderful husband and 2 children but sometimes quite frankly that’s not enough. I am so lonely I have recently cut of a “friend” as they kept meeting up without me and that can really knock someone’s self confidence. She just told me to get a grip and grow up. I would love to chat to anyone who wants to chat. :)

REPLY
11 months ago
Hi😀

REPLY
11 months ago
Sending you a big hug 🤗. If I lived near you I would be your friend.❤️

REPLY
11 months ago
If you’re in Perth I’ll be your friend :-)

REPLY
10 months ago
I feel the same :( im only 20 so no mum friends for me. Dont even have many friends anymore im so sick of it i want my son to have friends too he loves interacting with other babies and I’ve tried to make friends with people i kind of know that have kids too but it’s never worked out and sick of just doing stuff by myself feeling sorry for myself I live in NZ someone be my friend pleeaseee idk how to make friends

REPLY
10 months ago
I am in the same situation. I am 34 I’ve always found it hard to keep friends and tbh I don’t know why I would say I am a nice person caring always put others first. I Help my family (sisters) all the time but if I suggest a catch up or a lunch most of the time I am Fobbed off. Or told they are busy. I am a mum of two young children and work as a nurse so I met people everyday but find it hard to form relationships with people my own age. My husband works all the time and doesn’t
Make much time for us as a couple. I feel awful saying I am lonely when I am surrounded by people but ever feel like ure invisible?

REPLY
3 months ago
I’ve just turned 29 with 2 bubs, under 5 😝. I just moved to Melbourne and the only person I know is moving to Perth. So no friends again. I was in Canberra previous, I move a lot because of hubby’s job. My family lives in a different country. Idk where to make friends.

ANSWER
3 months ago
Ditto. I'm not a mum. Single, 35. Surrounded by all married work acquaintances etc and it's hard being lectured to go join a sporting team or group just to make friends. I realise it's the obvious thing.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Hope things have improved for you since your original post.
I found my bestie through going to church. We have stronger connection than I have with girls I went all through school with. We both had a pregnancy together, and share our faith as well.
Some churches do social outreach via coffee n chat, craft classes as well as bible study groups etc.
Have you considered volunteering? Even if at your kids school as a library helper or excursion helper? Or any local charity will normally be super happy to have someone new to help out.
Hope this helps! Hugs to you.

REPLY
10 months ago
Joining a cult is not the answer

ANSWER
1 year ago
I honestly totally know how yall feel

ANSWER
2 years ago
this is me. i just wish i had someone to talk to :(

ANSWER
2 years ago
I know ghis post is :years old. But this is how I feel. Stay home mum of three. Moved to a new town in the uk. Surrounded by snobbish mothers. Its sad. I feel alone. Hubby always working. Am beyond bored.

REPLY
2 years ago
Try Mush, I met my bestie trough this app :-)

REPLY
2 years ago
I am with you...I am mom of a 3 years old child...and stay at home mom.I feel isolated...and I think I ma because I tried..I really tried connecting with other moms...but nothing worked.I am at this point I believe it is either something wrong with me or I am the most unlucky mom ...I tried even websites..but..unfortunately nothing helped me.And it is frustrating when you see all this ads for different websites and apps for all lonely moms out there and actually there are just lies.I mean ..on a websites like this I wrote to more than 30 moms ..introduced myself and tried to connect and no one..i mean not one answer me..

ANSWER
2 years ago
I feel exactly the same i have always been shy and ive been lonely since i was about 11 yrs old. I found it hard to make friends at school i had a few close friends that i havent seen in about 30 yrs. When i was younger my friends were getting married and having kids and as i wasnt at that stage we lost contact and went in different directions. Now im an older mum in my 40s i am finding that most mums are younger. I feel so lonely im also a stay at home mum and have been since my baby was born about 10 mths ago. Im wondering if things will ever get better. Im now on anti depressants .i sent some fb friend requests and they havent accepted them .i was gutted at first.i have a loving patner so i am very grateful that we met i met him when i was much older.personally i find it hard to make friends in sydney it seems very clicky. I just wish i had a few good friends to have a good laugh with and friends with integrity.

REPLY
2 years ago
Try the app Mush

ANSWER
5 years ago
I am the same i have fb friends but i always seem to be the one trying to talk and nothing i get contacted when they want something i to sit alone at things i feel inadequate to others im not stick thin dont do the hair and makeup etc. I do get out to work where my friends dont work but even there its me making the efforts i feel used and now husband has moved away for work so im flying solo. I'd love to find you on fb so we can become friends.

REPLY
2 years ago
Facebook is not real

REPLY
2 years ago
On fbook your just apart of their friend collection- they want high number of friends to make themselves feel better.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Was it always this way, did you have friends before you had children? I found with my history alot of women i have been friends with cut me off when they had children they became too busy (i didn't have kids until later). ....maybe you try some old friends?

REPLY
2 years ago
And now their sad & lonely & have no friends? Yeah i've seen this too.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I feel like I wrote this in the darkness of my PND. If it was me (jesus I can't even remember something I wrote 3 weeks ago, let alone 3 years ago), I've since found some friends, and am in a much better place mentally. There were some very dark moments. Moments I was staring a little too long at an entire packet of pain killers, thinking about how much easier it would be to end it all.
If this wasn't one of mine, OP I hope you can say the same (that you're in a better place). If you're still struggling, there is hope.

ANSWER
2 years ago
This is me but with no kids.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I just talk to myself. I try to make friends but they just sit on their phones on fb.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Have you considered changing play groups?
I enjoyed going to play group and chatted to a few mums but mainly found it very much a mothers group just chatting to each other. After going to a new play group I started making friends.

ANSWER
5 years ago
It is about making the effort and being consistent. These days people don't really come up to you. You have to go to them and initiate conversations. This can include neighbours as well. To be honest I lost a lot of friends when I had children. I gained a couple but I would say 4 friends is all I had until I went back to work. Family is my everything.

ANSWER
5 years ago
www.meetup.com

Or download the app.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I think you are really brave to reach out and talk about how you are feeling. I totally understand what you are going through as I have struggled through out my life to make friends. At times I just haven't had the confidence and I am a quiet person by nature so its a little harder for us quiet ones to initiate contact, and it takes a little effort and facing the fear but once done it can be worth it coz all you really need in life is that one person you can connect with. And that person could be anywhere! It is a little harder when you have children too as you can't get out as much and everyone is so busy these days. Please don't despair; I know there are people out there who would love to be your friend and are maybe just as scared as you. Don't be scared to simply smile or just ask someone a question about themselves or their baby/child. I find that just taking my son out for a walk we meet lots of mums and bubs who love to talk and just connect with another mum. Story time at your local library might be another good avenue for you. Many mums feel alone, I have felt very alone at times and I hope that things get better for you for you deserve to be happy and feel confident within yourself. Also if you are comfortable maybe have a chat with a trusted GP or health professional about how you are feeling. Talking about it and reaching out can make such a difference. All the best x

REPLY
5 years ago
Confidence comes with age, of course not much use to you now...I gained confidence by setting my face into a smile mode all the time, sounds silly but it helps.....I also say Hello to everyone I meet....become a friend, , pull your chair over to the other mothers, compliment someone nearby on their sweater or their hair,say sweet things about THEIR children....eventually it works I promise you.......

ANSWER
5 years ago
I get you about playgroup! I used to sit outside so u could watch my kids, all the other mums sat inside and I ended up looking after the kids ... They hardly spoke to me, and I really tried. In the beginning, after about a year I didn't try, still went cos the kids liked it! And this was a small town, they were very snobbish....

ANSWER
5 years ago
Perhaps try taking the kids along to activities like gymbaroo or library story time where you see parents regularly but are not obliged to talk to them straight away as you are active with your child. That way people become familiar before you introduce youself. If possible also think about doing something for yourself like a night course joining a craft club sports group or charity to meet people who like the same things that you do. Best wishes

ANSWER
5 years ago
Firstly I want to say good on you for reaching out. It can feel isolating having children as without a good support network you can be left exhuasted and emotionally drained. This can add to the feelings of worthless and self doubt. I would suggest talking with someone maybe a counselor as they are great at listening and giving you time to process your own thoughts. I am sorry you say you feel worthless as I am positive you are far from that. Hugs

ANSWER
5 years ago
If your really shy maybe you could start a blog maybe just blog about your day or your thoughts or feeling s maybe that could help boost your cofidence. Or if your not shy maybe next time your at your kids play group you could walk up to the moms politely introduce yourself and take it from there. Or perhaps join some kind of community activities. Best wishes to you:)

ANSWER
5 years ago
Sorry i missed that you said you do not like play groups. They can feel really closed off sometimes. I would say keep trying. Eventually people will open up. We have something called mumsnet in the UK not sure if there is something in Australia but people share their profiles and arrange purposeful meetups so maybe you can look out for something like that. Thinking of you as this is something I have struggled with in the past.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I am so sorry to hear that. It xan be challenging sometimes and I have been through it too. I think that once you have children it is very hard to meet and keep friends. Have you thought about going to a mum to be group. Not sure how old your children are but maybe you can take them to play groups or clubs where you can meet people. I am not sure what your husband has or if you have wider family support. See if you can have someone baby sit one evening a werk so you can do something. Whether it is join a sport/social club. You wil soon meet people if you open up. It is hard but the first step is hello, I am xxx.... Then yiu can take it from there.

ANSWER
5 years ago
That's awful. And I know how you feel. Are you able to disclose the state you live in? Perhaps then someone can reach out to you xx