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Hate working with Husband

Answered 2 years ago

I have worked with my husband for over 10 years and we work well together for most but now we have 2 small kids my priorities have completely changed. I work 3 days but struggle to get through the workload and often have to put them in daycare on a 4th day to catch up or work nights in which he will still continue to send me 'urgent work' which pushes everything back.

We own the business so I do have flexibility when the kids are ill however the pressure is killing me and I am finding that I have gone from a placid happy person to being cranky all the time which is not fair on anyone, and my resentment for my husband is only getting stronger.

Has anyone else ever experienced this?

We did hire someone to help out however that ended in a complete disaster!! :-(

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2 years ago
I would suggest looking to hire someone else you so your job and you training them really really well. You can always help out with little things then, but the workload won't be entirely yours

2 years ago
I agree it all comes down to training and treat your staff how you would like to be treated.

2 years ago
Its also a real skill in selecting the right staff. I would suggest selecting primarily on their work ethic, their personal ethics like honesty and integrity. Especially if the skills required are something you can teach them.
Lazy people will have been lazy in the past.
Dishonest people will have been dishonest before.
Always interview prospective employees.
Have behavioural questions in the interview. "Describe the time you were faced with a problem. How did you go about resolving it ?" That sort of question makes them describe the behaviour, so you can assess how they operate.
And ALWAYS ask for previous boss referees. That you can talk directly to.
Don't just believe written ones. And don't rely on references from their friends. Of course those references will be glowing ones.
Give us more information and we might be able to provide more useful advice.

2 years ago
So basically you’re doing a 3 man job with 2 people? add 2 kids to the mix of course you’re going to feel the pressure and turn into Miss Grumpy pants.
Keep hiring till you find the perfect fit for your company requirements. Just because the first one was a disaster it doesn’t mean the next person will be.
Stop bringing work home. Chat with hubby and tell him to implement a “no work” rule after 5pm.
Organise your schedule better using diaries, work planners etc
You won’t get different results if you keep doing the same thing day in day out, the pressure won’t just go away. Have a meeting without kids in the background and come to a conclusion that doesn’t jeopardise the success of your business and family life. Good luck

2 years ago
I can imagine it must be difficult.
One idea is saying no, you can't manage and your husband helps more with what you do.
Another idea is trying to find part time help in the business again, start with casual help and see how they go.
Have you thought about hiring an aupair? Having someone to help with the house and kids to free up more of your time.
I think it comes down to what you want to do, would you rather have more time with the kids or more time with work. How busy is your husband? And how much does he help at home?

2 years ago
Could he do more? Could you try hiring a housekeeper or nanny? Could you work from home a couple hours on days you don't go in? Could he take the kids every other Saturday or 2- 3 other days a month so you cpuld catch up? Could you revisit hiring help for the business?