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Did you get revenge on the 'mistress' or did you let it go??

Answered 21 days ago

It's been 8 months since my hubby's affair came to light. We've done some serious counselling and are working through it. BUT....
I see this biatch every. freakin. where. Or if it's not her, her husband. Including the hospital when I was very unwell. I have so far taken the high road and not given her any of my energy or attention. But life keeps rubbing it in my face, and I keep thinking what if I just....? Then when I saw her face I'd feel some kind of happy about what I did rather than feeling sick and like I want to kill my husband.
Did you take revenge? How did it make you feel?
(And I'm not talking about physical violence, or anything super illegal, it's a smallish town and I need my reputation and job!)

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Answers

ANSWER
21 days ago
My husband cheated. Lied for months. Gaslighted me and said it was all in my head - but was coming home Friday nights at 2am after “work drinks”. When I found out I asked him to leave. I never looked back.

ANSWER
3 years ago
My husband cheated with someone he worked with. Once he found another job I sent photos and emails she sent him while together to everyone at the office. It was nothing too bad just a few selfies and emails were mostly just her dribbling crap but a few bitchy comments about the boss and another person. It gave me a laugh.

REPLY
3 years ago
So mature. What are you, 15? She didn’t cheat on you. Your husband did.

REPLY
3 years ago
I'm sick of hearing that, "It's not her fault it's his". It's both of them. Mess with someones marriage then I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be safe from an angry wife or angry husband. You made that choice to help ruin someones family, pay the price.

REPLY
3 years ago
Exactly. She knew he as married, and I had an opportunity to humiliate her. Hopefully she will think twice next time.

REPLY
21 days ago
yep they both deserve it as bad as each other I say! Takes a sick bitch to screw a married man and a sick man to cheat on his wife.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I turned the power off while they were on their honeymoon. They got to come back to a dead garden and defrosted freezer.

REPLY
21 days ago
love it! LOL

ANSWER
5 months ago
I got revenge on both of them. I got every cent I could in my settlement and don't work so I have the kids most of the time, he has to pay a lot of child support.

REPLY
2 years ago
😒 so you used your kids to "get back at him"
That's good parenting 😑

REPLY
2 years ago
Haha, umm, no, if he is going to do what he did, he is not father material. So he should pay up and let the responsible parent raise the kids and restart a life of her own. Fair is fair.

REPLY
5 months ago
How does having an affair not make someone good father material? They are not related. Makes him a bad partner, yes, bad father? How?

REPLY
5 months ago
My kids stopped seeing their dad once they worked out he had been having an affair. They realised what he was doing all the times he was "working late" rather than spending time with them. My oldest told him remember what comes around goes around.

REPLY
5 months ago
Hm.
Then you have allowed your children to think it was there fault??
I don't know about you but when my relationship ended i fully explained to my children it was because mummy and daddy weren't right for each other and if we were avoiding the home its because we didn't want to see each other and argue.

REPLY
5 months ago
My kids worked it out for themselves, I can't tell them how to feel about it. I have encouraged them to have a relationship with their dad, but after years of him being too busy to spend time with them they are not longer interested. I think they will eventually see their dad on their terms, but I doubt they will ever speak to his partner. They are right what comes around goes around.

REPLY
5 months ago
^this is really sad all round :(

REPLY
21 days ago
Good on them. It makes total sense that they are hurt for their own reasons - yes it would upset them that he hurt you but it is also a HUGE rejection for them to think dad is working late / working hard to make sacrifices for them and the family etc etc. playing himself off as the hero, to find he has been cutting time with this kids for another woman.

REPLY
21 days ago
Kids are clever.

ANSWER
21 days ago
I just let it go. I was so hurt but I didn’t want to hurt anyone else. No point in that.

ANSWER
4 years ago
I suppose it is revenge, I have never let her be a part of my family. My husband and I get along and do things together for the kids. She misses all the events with the kids, my ex and I go but she stays home. She chose to mess with my family so I am happy to sideline her.

REPLY
4 years ago
Lmao so it's all her fault?? Oh dear

REPLY
4 years ago
No not all her fault, but for the kids sake I have to be civil to their dad. We get along well and are able to have family dinners on birthdays or Christmas and go to sport or school things all together. Part of being able to do this is not having to see her all the time, I don't think it would work having her part of it all. I realise I am being selfish not including her but I really don't care, and in the beginning knowing I was making her unhappy really helped me get through such a horrible time.

REPLY
22 days ago
Hi. I know it’s been along long time since you wrote this about your ex-husband and his mistress but I’m going through a divorce and I’m trying to stay friends with my soon to be ex but I absolutely cannot accept the girlfriend into my kids’ lives. IT just hurt to much. How were you able to get your ex to agree with not including her in “family” bdays, holidays and sports? If I could keep her away for at least a year things would be so much easier on all of us. Thanks for sharing your story. Feel free to msg me @ [email protected] or on this post would be great too!!

ANSWER
4 months ago
OP from way back here: I ended up leaving him 2 years ago. I couldn’t move past it.
The revenge ended up happening naturally. I moved on, the kids are much happier and my boyfriend is gorgeous inside and out.
The mistress did me a favour really. I should thank her next time I see her around.

REPLY
5 months ago
I'm happy to read This!

REPLY
5 months ago
Thanks for the update! I was just wondering if you had stayed together

REPLY
5 months ago
That's the best update ever

REPLY
4 months ago
I thanked my ex fiancé (from over 20years ago) for cheating on me. Gave him a huge hug and told him I have lived an awesome life that I would not have if I stayed with him, I congratulated them on their marriage which was two years prior to me seeing them and told them they were obviously meant for each other.
I also couldn’t help myself and congratulated her on her pregnancy and told her she is glowing (I knew damn well that she was not pregnant and had had a hysterectomy a few months prior, extremely overweight) meh bitch maybe but their actions scarred me for a good few years!

ANSWER
4 months ago
I heard a story of accidental revenge that happened a few years ago. A friend who lived in a small rural town. Her husband worked at the IGA, had an affair and eventually left his wife and kids for the bit on the side. The bit on the side was the niece of the family who owned the IGA and she worked there. My friend was humiliated, she couldn't move, couldn't find work and was stuck in the town living off clink and the tiny bit of child support she got. She was to embarrassed to go to the shop so she had to drive an hour away to the bigger town. The Iga was very expensive and most food was out of date or close to, so a few friends got her to pick up their shopping at the other town too. The little delivery service got bigger and she was picking up shopping a couple of times a week, and getting a tiny delivery fee. The IGA closed and became a tiny shop you went to for milk and bread if you ran out so her ex and the bit lost their jobs and moved away allowing my friend to move out the town to and get a job. The supermarket in the bigger town started doing deliveries so the IGA would have closed any way but she got the last laugh.

ANSWER
5 months ago
Yes, I told her husband infront of her children.

REPLY
5 months ago
Why bring the children into it? I'm sorry that happened to you but honestly, you're no better than his wife :(

REPLY
5 months ago
She was warned to leave my family alone, or I would bring hers into it. I don't really want to be in the 'right' , I just wanted her to go away.

REPLY
5 months ago
^ I get that I really do. When people are hurt or scared they take action in a way they would never otherwise. I hope you have come through this a stronger and more beautiful woman 💕

ANSWER
5 months ago
Honestly the responses on here flaw me. You all need to grow up a bit and learn some emotional intelligence.

It's done, walk away.

Even more flabbergasting when you take the husband back but still harbour the bitterness toward her. It's projecting what he did to the 3rd party cos it's too painful to do it to the person you still want to stay with.

If you can forgive him, you can forgive her (even though she broke no promises to you, no vows, didn't deceive you, didn't fuck someone then come home and fuck you, didn't hide numbers and texts from you.)

Honestly, the hold their own moral accountability and by all means, choose not to have someone like that in your life who's morals don't alone with yours, but that's clearly not an issue as you keep your husband in your life.
But in this situation the CHEATER is 100% to blame. If they say NO it doesn't happen.
Blame should sit where it lies.

Your husband should have said no and didn't. And that's who did the wrong thing as far as you and him are concerned.

REPLY
2 years ago
Haha you have sooooo never been cheated on! Bet you would have a different perspective if you were cheated on - especially if it was more than a 1 night stand.

REPLY
2 years ago
This was my response.

I have been cheated on.
Twice.
Once with a girl who u didn’t know and herself was single. (That was the father of my kids and was a short lived affair)
The other with a friend who was married. (My first long term boyfriend)

REPLY
5 months ago
Anyone who takes the mistress' side is either a mistress themselves or has never been cheated on and loves to throw around holier than thou derision. If someone deliberately tries to destroy your life, they deserve blame, no matter what the context is.

ANSWER
5 months ago
I think if you're going to stay with someone after cheating you need to get over it, otherwise it's always going to be bothering you and it'll destroy the trust. No trust, no relationship.

REPLY
5 months ago
People stay for different reasons, I stayed after my partner had an affair. I am not over it, and I have no trust. We are working on it, and it's not a terrible relationship but it's not a great one. I knew the woman well and the thought of her playing happy families with my kids has kept me in the marriage until my kids are older and won't have to spend half the week with dad sort of crap.

ANSWER
5 months ago
I got revenge during the affair, he didn't know that I knew about the affair, so I messed with them a few times.

REPLY
5 months ago
That sounds interesting, tell us more .......

REPLY
5 months ago
It's nothing that interesting. I knew who she was, I was on Facebook with someone who knows her so i got a bit of information about her life. I was able to call my husband home for an emergency when it was a special occasion for her. I gave her work place bad reviews and named her. Just a bit of mischief, nothing too serious.

REPLY
5 months ago
^ Are you still with hubby?

REPLY
5 months ago
No not any more.

REPLY
5 months ago
Good for you babe x

ANSWER
5 months ago
I know someone who got revenge on the other woman by doing the pick me dance. Her husband chose to end the affair and stay with the family. She made sure close family and friends knew what had happened, waited a couple of months then threw him out. She wanted the other woman to go through heart break, and mess with her life. It worked she was known as left overs until they split.

REPLY
5 months ago
Revenge is a dish best served cold. 😂😂

ANSWER
5 months ago
I walked away. My partner cheated with my best friend. We didn't have children or anything yet. I held my head high and walked away. Absolutely destroyed me. Not long after I found my now husband. 11 years later we are so happy with 2 children. And they are not together anymore after videos of her emerged with other men. Hahaha see ya sucker I came out on top 😍

REPLY
5 months ago
You didn't even need to get revenge 😂 she did it all to herself

ANSWER
5 years ago
I hacked the Facebook page and changed her name to obscenities lol as well as changed their sexual orientation and a few other little truths lol.
If you have her mobile stick up a personal ad.

REPLY
4 years ago
How do you hack a fb page?

REPLY
4 years ago
I doubt this is true, although its possible but its very illegal and the sort of things police look into.

REPLY
4 years ago
It is true. I had his password lol. It lasted only 24 or so hours but enough for ppl to notice

REPLY
3 years ago
Police dony look into that shit. Hack away. Too hard to prove anything

REPLY
9 months ago
My ex hacked my Facebook. Didnt change anything, he was just stalking me. All I got off the police was "just change your password then so he can't." And I had message proof where he's going off about things hes read in my Facebook messages amd admitting he'd done it

REPLY
9 months ago
^Is the bastard completely out of your life now? I hope so ♥️

ANSWER
9 months ago
Forget telling her husband, I found her mother in law’s phone number and told her all the ins and outs. Her husband’s a cowardly geek and I knew her mother in law hated her for keeping her grandson away, and would love to destroy her. Now I just smirk to myself about how bitter that family must be now.

ANSWER
4 years ago
I ended up finding her husband on Facebook and sent him a message detailing everything that had happened over the last 4 years. She was pregnant at the time so not much was done, but at least he is aware. She's had the baby now and I think it might be my ex's, his name started with Jas and the kid has Jazz... I know she's living a miserable existence being in her marriage but still being in love with my ex. Suck shit b##ch... I hope you know the same pain as I do after you came between my marriage and hurt my kids. Oh does it feel sweet 😈

REPLY
4 years ago
Lmao shouldn't it be your ex that you should be shitty at.

REPLY
4 years ago
Oh I was shitty with my ex. That's why our divorce will be final next month. And I made his life hell until he moved out.

REPLY
2 years ago
You mean you made your kids and his life hell

REPLY
2 years ago
^No he did

ANSWER
5 years ago
I would love to be standing next to her and her hubby at the checkout and obviously look in her trolley and say super loud oh i thought we would have had matching items since we share the same taste in men!
Or a big hi sweetie how are you when you see her

REPLY
2 years ago
It's sad how much you've thought about that.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Not to a mistress but to my ex (who was on dating sites our entire relationship) I made lots of fake profiles on kinky weird fetish sites, and dating sites, listing his "interests" as messed up sexual stuff and left his real number saying leave a graphic message and his and email saying send me porno shots.

REPLY
4 years ago
Sounds like my husband, he thinks it's ok and that I don't mind though Iv voiced my displeasure a lot!

REPLY
2 years ago
Weak

ANSWER
2 years ago
Well all the asian brothels between Brisbane and Gold Coast are still open so... no I haven’t set fire to them yet

ANSWER
4 years ago
My Hubby didn't physically cheat, but there was messages sent between him and an old girlfriend of a sexual and personal nature. She was married with kids too.
I got my revenge on her, because it was easier than dealing with the problems in my marriage; I let her take 100% of the blame.
I have never regretted it, she knew he was married and yes, I know my Husband was at fault too, but I don't care I don't regret what I did to her.

REPLY
2 years ago
What did you do???

ANSWER
2 years ago
Why does the mistress owe you anything? She may not be an innocent party (although she very well may be) but it is your husband who has a commitment to you not some random chick who has slept with him. He could just have easily paid a brothel chick for the same time. I feel badly for ALL women involved with two-faced losers who think being disloyal is no big deal. Modern society is fucked.

REPLY
2 years ago
If a woman is knowingly sleeping with someone else's husband, she deserves what ever the revenge the wife decides to hand her. Of course the husband deserves the worst of it, but if the mistress suffering too is fair.

REPLY
2 years ago
So if she killed her? All good?
Destroyed her job or buisness she spent 20 years building?
Publicly shamed her, embarrassing her kids in the process?

How about if you stay with your husband whatever you do to her you do to him.... then decide if it's ok.

REPLY
2 years ago
Maybe not kill her. I have been part of a group of friends since uni (15 years ago), there were five women who caught up often, and all our families were close (group holidays, lots of BBQs together etc,) One of the group had an affair with another's husband, it went on for a while and we had no idea. The fall out was terrible, both couples split up. Obviously we couldn't all catch up again, the friend who husband cheated distanced herself, she didn't want it us to choose but we did. No one spoke to the cheating friend again, we didn't keep in touch with her kids either. I felt bad for the cheating friend, it turned out her husband was abusive and she was trying to escape a horrific life. But I have no time for people like that.

REPLY
2 years ago
I don't knows about revenge, I haven't been in that situation. Though I live in a small town, and a woman I know husband had an affair and left her for the other woman. Now this person is stuck living in the small town, who's husband lives with his new partner. The new partner runs the IGA (family business) where the lady shops and can't escape the situation. The lady started shopping in the regional centre 45 minutes away, and slowly her friends including me started paying her to pick up click and collect shopping each week. So she is getting revenge as she is taking a significant amount of income away from the other woman's family, and making money out of it too.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I took revenge by finding her husband on Facebook and telling him the truth

ANSWER
2 years ago
Not revenge on the mistress but my mum got some good revenge when she found out my dad had a secret family downing tasmania. It came to light after they had been separated for about 6 months. He is a fisherman and was away for 3-4 weeks at a time, which is the the reason he was able to hide a family for so long. When they separated mum moved out of the house with us kids, he brought the house before they met so it was easier for us to leave. Anyway she still had her key (he didn't know about that, her and friend were having a few drinks one night (us kids were staying at our aunties house) mum and her friend went to his house, got some seeds and sprinkled them all over his lounge room floor, then poked the hose through a screen (back when nobody had security screens) and left the hose on very slowly. He was away for 3 weeks and nobody was checking on the house, so when he came back the seeds had sprouted all over his lounge room floor. He had to replace the carpet it was kinda of petty but i still find it hilarious.

ANSWER
3 years ago
My revenge was dumping his ass and he went with her. Haha have him, he's your problem now.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I thought about it. At least at first. My husband had an affair too, and when I found out I was devastated. He worked with her for over 4 years!! My friends now see her more than they do me. It's easier, she doesn't have kids of her own.
I thought about doing all kinds of sly things. Little things where she wouldn't know it was me, but honestly, I know one day it will come back to haunt her. My ex husband will most likely cheat on her too, and if not, they deserve each other. They are both horrible people.
I know that I can look back with pride knowing I took the high road. I have something she will never have. Self respect, honesty, and I can sleep at night knowin that I have never treated anyone with as much intentional heartbreak as she has.

Be strong, be confident, act like you don't care about her at all. That will confuse her and hurt her more than any tyre slashing or graffiti ever will.

When I see her I just smile knowingly and don't say anything.

Good luck and I'm sorry you are going through this. Take care of yourself, the universe will sort the rest out. X

REPLY
5 years ago
I love this response. I think that at the end of the day you can tell your kids that you conducted yourself with grace and dignity, you are a much better person for it. One day my kids will be old enough and want to know the truth and I will honestly be able to say that I held myself to a high standard.

REPLY
5 years ago
Wow you are amazing, I love that you smile at her because you do know that if he cheated on you he isn't much of a catch and most certainly will on her. I bet that is always on the other woman's mind.

REPLY
3 years ago
How do you do this??? I’m so angry I want to scream at him and tell him I’m gone but I can’t leave just yet. My only option is being patient saving and then leave, but how do I do this without hurting him, because some part of me really really wants to hurt him!

ANSWER
3 years ago
I think my revenge was not telling her what she was in for.

ANSWER
3 years ago
Our family friends- he had an affair with a woman who was also married, never knew if her husband knew. Our friend saw the woman out with her husband and noticed she was pregnant so when she walked past said 'oh congratulations! And whose is it?' Then walked off.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Id be leaving an anonymous letter for her husband. Mail it to his work address so u know he gets it. Poor man should know his wifes a cheating whore. Goodluck. Id probably also accidently find her car in a carpark and my key would accidently leave a big long deep scratch (or 2) up one side.
Id also probably post an adult add with her number attached.
Id also send her a massive glitter bomb as well just to make myself feel better.
But im a bitch.
Its probably better to take the hugh road.

REPLY
5 years ago
High** road.

REPLY
5 years ago
Love the glitter bomb idea.

REPLY
5 years ago
Glitter bombs are easy and fun to make. Do it outside and wear gloves. Leave no evidence around. Just saying ;-)

REPLY
5 years ago
do all of these ideas !!

REPLY
4 years ago
Ha ha I love the way you think!!

ANSWER
4 years ago
A friend found out her husband was cheating with a girl they worked (family business) with, she didn't know how to tell them she knew. The husband had to deliver something and as usual he took his girlfriend, he used his wife's car as it was the biggest. My friend left chocolate in the car which they ate. Yes it was laxatives. It was such a funny story but why would anyone risk poo in their own car!

ANSWER
4 years ago
TO be honest, I look at it as being saved. You guys were probably doomed and unhappy, and so is she and her husband. You got out. I would have a convo with her though, (she'd probably be terrified Andrew right now she's getting off scot free) and thank her for everything and that you hope She is happy with sarcasm. That is your right to speak up and if you want speak from the heart do it. As to scratching cars and stuff, that can quickly backfire. You're better than that.

ANSWER
4 years ago
I left my partner. Years down the track I can see I was spared a life of misery. I didn't get revenge, I fantasised but walked away in the end.

ANSWER
4 years ago
why is she in the wrong but not your husband.

I get seeing her is crap, but did she know your hubby was married. why did she cheat on her husband did he know and they are sticking it out for the kids in an open relationship

I'm a vengeful person I wouldn't be going after her I'd be going your hubby he would have great arm muscles

ANSWER
5 years ago
I chose to take the high road and the best revenge is a good life. Saying that I did have a friend who's husband was cheating well his mistresses husband sent a registered letter meaning only the husband could sign for it and told him what his wife had been doing with her husband...pure gold she got home all her stuff was on the front lawn, my friends husband came home and all his stuff was on the lawn too.
I do believe karma will bite at some point 👍

ANSWER
5 years ago
Why don't you tell her husband? I don't mean as a way of revenge... But doesn't he deserve to know?

REPLY
5 years ago
Yes I was wondering the same, it's not revenge he should know if you know.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I haven't done anything but fantasise about creating a fake favebook profile and sending a private facebook message to everyone in her friends list telling them what shes done (3 year affair with my husband). Id also send it to all the people at her work. Luckily i dont run into her anywhere. Id probably lose my shit and start screaming at her if i did. She lives and works an hour away. I do have her mobike number and for the first few days after finding out id text her a lot 'reminding' her what an awful horrible skank of a person she is. It pissed her off but i think shes actually scated about me seeking revenge on her - especially at work coz she needs her job so we havent seen or heard from her in a couple of months - have probably jinxed myself now...... good luck. Just take care of you. Its a frighin hard road to walk, especially if you've taken him back, as have i. xxxxx yiu are in my thoughts. We are in a realky crappy 'club' and got no choice in it. Id be telling her husband for sure though.

REPLY
5 years ago
Hope you kept telling your husband what a piece of shit he was too!

REPLY
5 years ago
Oh absolutely i did!! Its a struggle trying to put a marriage back together after an affair. I hate him and what he did to me but i do want a life with him. But he goes out of his way to be supportive and put me first and seems very genuine. In some ways our relationship is amazing now, but the hurt and pain is still there. Balancing those emotions is quite difficult.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Letter for husband

ANSWER
5 years ago
I let it go, the satisfaction of being the bigger person was enough. But I used to fantasize about the horrible things I would do if I was a bitch. These days, I couldn't give a ripped fig about that skank or my ex. I'm too busy enjoying my awesome life their shenanigans allowed me to create.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Glitter bomb!!!!!!

ANSWER
5 years ago
Maybe karma is waiting for the perfect time to happen and then boom right in front of you something happens and you get to smile.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I would get revenge on hubby and would leave him

ANSWER
5 years ago
I'd be more angry at my husband for betraying my trust than some slut.

REPLY
5 years ago
Was just coming to say the same thing!! Yes she was in the wrong but if you can forgive your hubby you gotta let her go too. He is the one that cheated on you. Not her

REPLY
5 years ago
Oh don't worry he's had his share of anger, hurt tears and horrible things said and done. Yes he was the one that cheated, but so did she. On her husband. He never found out. Why did we have to go through all the hurt, pain and anger when she doesn't have to.
But maybe you are right, and maybe that's why it still affects me so grately, and prevented me from being able to forgive him, because I have to forgive her to be able to do that.

REPLY
5 years ago
I think saying that she isn't responsible is a cop out. Yes, it was the husband that 'cheated', but why does she get away with it? Why do women always say it's not her fault. It is her fault. It is his fault. The most important thing is that it is not YOUR fault!

REPLY
5 years ago
Of course its her fault too and dont get me wrong i would be fuming!!!
But in some instances not necessarily this one, women take the man back with barely a slap on the wrist yet want to kill the woman. It takes 2 to tango. Just saying if shes moving forward with her husband she needs to let her go too