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Baby Shower Wishing Well

Answered 10 days ago

I've been invited to a baby shower, its their second child. They've asked for money or gift cards instead of gifts. Is this normal for baby showers? I wasn't going to spend much to be honest, I would have made something

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ANSWER
10 days ago
My friend is pregnant, ,during covid lockdown. She coukdnt have a baby shower so I went out and got two bonds outfits for her. Did I have the money to spend no it not was food money and cost to poat it too. But I did it for my friend. She will never know what I went with out and thats how it should be. I get it second baby showers prob shouldn't be a thing but firata is fine. I never had one. I bought all my childs stuff. Im inderpendant like that but itwould have been lovely to have one as well.

Dont go if u don to want to spend money

REPLY
10 days ago
Sorry grew my nails getting used to typing with long nails.

ANSWER
26 days ago
Hahaha some answers here ... real pathetic, petty, horrible women which clearly need some help for their pathetic lives. “When they ask for gift cards or money I give them something useless so they have to thank me anyway?” I really hope you end up that friendship because you sound like a total bitch to have as a friend. Disgusting. Babies are super expensive! You have no money? That’s fine give $10, they will likely feed you and your partner anyway so pretend you bought food outside. Unbelievable that some people feel offended about being asked to contribute to their FRIENDS new super expensive baby. Really even $5 is enough. Don’t have spare $5 write a love note. But don’t go all bitchy about it when really the likelihood of someone not being able to afford $5 when food and drinks are been provided is so minimal. I personally asked for a donation to rspca instead of gifts, because I love animals and dog if I was so happy of the support my friends showed. Even the $5 made me so happy!!! Grrr really annoyed just reading this. If you’re a total bitch of a human please don’t have friends. No one, specially pregnant women needs shitty, negative, disgusting women to ruing their bliss with their stupid complains. Grrrrr

REPLY
26 days ago
Isn’t the purpose of this forum to ask questions and get opinions? And now because these opinions don’t gel with yours you have called the responders bitches amongst other awful things. Sorry, who’s the nasty one here?

REPLY
26 days ago
You, one 100% you. I’m standing for all pregnant women that feel comfortable asking for a contribution in cash, you just wrote a comment saying “if you have a baby, is your expense, you choose that, don’t ask others for money, pure greed” where to even start ... you obviously are a terrible friend for one, second - usually the money received is used to cover the expense of hosting guests and providing them with nice food and drinks (your food and your drink). Pure greed? What do you think a mum with a new baby is going to do with that money? Buy a Bentley? No, of course not. Buy diapers, formula, baby wipes, etc. I’m sure you don’t have kids and if you do ... wow. Really just, wow. I’m pregnant with my first and fortunately both my husband and I are high income earners. Never, not once I’ve felt offended by contributing towards baby showers, wedding, etc. They’re my friends, I love them and if I can help them fulfil their dreams by contributing, there’s no question about it. You probably don’t even know that most private companies don’t pay mat leave and you only get the government subsidy for 4 months, and in many cases people are casual and don’t even get that. Shocking! You’re literally standing by “if you’re poor you shouldn’t procreate” which is no different to saying “poor people don’t deserve to have anything” NOT everyone has had access to the same opportunities ... greedy ... ridiculous.

REPLY
26 days ago
Ridiculous rant. Fend for yourself. End of. Asking for money is just tacky, eekk.

REPLY
26 days ago
I have two kids and have never asked anyone to help raise my children. Sure, have a baby shower if you want to. But don’t have one because you need help providing the basics. Or you’re after a gift grab. Have one because you want to celebrate your baby. I’m a generous person and I would give you the shirt off my back if I thought you needed it more than me. But You’re defending greed. And entitlement. And that is just revolting.

REPLY
26 days ago
‘They will likely feed you and your partner anyway’. So they can afford to host a party but not buy nappies? Baby showers are nothing to do with not being able to afford a baby and everything to do with all that comes with a party. No one here is saying they wouldn’t help out a friend in need. Baby showers are not about helping someone in dire straits. Get real. Someone is strapped for cash would not be throwing themselves a baby shower!

REPLY
24 days ago
Haha I feel so sorry for all of you crying over $50 - $100 dollars for a friend and sure hope any of you had a wishing well at your wedding or 21st because is exactly the same. Non of these arguments have been valid as they don’t go anywhere beyond “that’s greedy” which no is not. Greedy is to say in the invitation “give me at least $500 dollars” but that’s not the case. Anyone contributes to their capacities. According to these comments 70% of the world population is greedy. Of the probably 30 weddings I have attended in my lifetime at least 90% have been wishing wells, number of times I though of my friend inviting me as “greedy” ZERO! And I have gifted from $20 to $1,000 every single dollar well spent as I know the couple used the money towards their honeymoon, deposit for a house, to cover some of the wedding expenses, etc.
As a business owner the first thing I do when a friend stars a business is to buy from their shops to support them. Maybe is this philosophy that has given me great opportunities in life. Worth giving it a try. Money is a vehicle to happiness not happiness itself. Some people here definitely sound like they need a better relation with money.

REPLY
24 days ago
^ do you understand the meaning of the word ‘shower’ when it comes to baby showers? If not, google will help you. As for wishing wells at weddings, if you have an expectation, greedy. People will gift you something at weddings whether you ask or not. Several people gave me nothing at mine. Did I care ? No. Did I say ‘give me $500? Of course not! Stop making assumptions about people who disagree with you. And stop the name calling it makes your agreement really weak. Also..... You might be well off but for some people $50-$100is a lot of money.

REPLY
24 days ago
The irony here ... “stop making assumptions” says the person defending that every single woman that has a wishing well at her baby shower is greedy. Thank you for proving my point. No need to make assumptions!!! A baby shower with a wishing well does not imply the person is greedy! It just means they don’t want to end up with 3 baby baths and 7 prams. And as I said before “people contribute to their capacities”.

REPLY
24 days ago
Uh no I didn’t say that. I said expectations are greedy. The expectation that people will put in money and give gifts. People these days are extremely entitled. A wishing well at a baby shower is fine so long as you’re not expecting everyone to give.

REPLY
24 days ago
And I couldn’t agree more. No need whatsoever to catalogue women that have a wishing well at their baby shower as greedy or tacky. Otherwise if the person had a wishing well at their wedding, 21st, graduation etc. they’re no different and are saying they’re tacky themselves, greedy, etc etc. I ended up in this forum to check if asking for a donation to RSPCA was rude. Blew my mind when I saw some comments here saying “I will be busy that day - what a greedy woman - even worse “I will give her a useless gift so they have to thank me anyway!?” Who even says that!? 1) So horrible for the environment 2) who has those morals? What is that friendship based on?

I accept and apologise I should have not used names. Heat of the moment. As a very feminist woman and now pregnant I hate seen women attacking their own friends instead of supporting them, is not the spirit.

REPLY
22 days ago
Babies aren’t expensive if you don’t buy designer clothes or everything new
Why should people pay for women spreading their legs

REPLY
22 days ago
Why do all babies need new clothes
Hand me downs from last baby

REPLY
19 days ago
Babies aren’t expensive if you don’t buy designer clothes? Let’s see, childcare per day $150, formula at least $50 a week, nappies, at least $20 a week, medical expenses (GP visits) and others etc. Just childcare is $750 a week for 5 days if mum wants to go back to work. Otherwise mum can stay home and receive government support in which case you still will pay for it because guess what you dumb idiot, you pay taxes .. and taxes pay for family support. So you do pay for women “spreading their legs” unless you are a complete parasite that doesn’t work and lives of government support and has the audacity to say rubbish like “people shouldn’t pay for it” ... your stupidity knows no limits.

ANSWER
22 days ago
$20
Cheap card

ANSWER
4 years ago
pure greed. Unless I am very close to them I would be 'busy' that day.

REPLY
11 months ago

REPLY
26 days ago
Of course babies aren't cheap, but if you choose to have them then it's on you. You don't ask others for money! I agree, pure greed!!!

ANSWER
11 months ago
Since it’s second child I understand as they would already have mostly everything.
I would do gift cards to shops that are appropriate for children only or food shops. This way you know it’s going to be used for the kids and not personal gifts for them self

ANSWER
4 years ago
I don't think it's fair to ask for vouchers/money, some people don't have much and would prefer to just buy a little something, I'm pregnant with my 3rd and the work girls have already said they're throwing me a baby shower because we celebrate every baby born at work, I didn't ask for it and I've already said its unnecessary. If I don't have one they'll just buy presents after the birth anyway.

REPLY
4 years ago
Sometimes though there is an expectation of gifts at a shower AND after the birth. Or some people feel obliged. I don't think there is anything terrible about a baby shower for a third. But unless there is a big gap between your babies and you really need a lot of baby things, or it's been so long you aren't really sure what you should get (which his why gifts at baby showers are meant to be a thing I believe, so experienced mums can help out new mums with what they need) then I think in your situation I'd ask for no presents, or a donation to SIDS & Kids or another charity for children.

REPLY
4 years ago
I think they want to buy me gifts because this is a boy and I only have girls

ANSWER
4 years ago
With first babies I buy all the cutie little outfits and blankets etc. But for second (or third or forth...ect) I cook up some meals, buy some groceries and take it all over with some nappies. It actually works out more expensive some times, but it's all about wanting to help.
Yes, I agree giving money is more practical, but so is the above and I think it's rude to ask for money.
I would make up plans and skip the shower, then take over some essentials after bub is born.

ANSWER
4 years ago
When people ask for gift cards or money, I give one to the book store because its almost useless aND they are obligated to thank me anyway

REPLY
4 years ago
Omg 😁 this is great.

REPLY
4 years ago
😂😂😂😂😂

REPLY
4 years ago
I love book vouchers! Why would they be useless??

REPLY
4 years ago
Ok, what I mean is they can't use them to buy resellable items, or spend it on much besides books for mom and bubs.

ANSWER
4 years ago
Haha! My friend just had her third baby. I gave her a box of new born nappies :-) lol. Practical and will get used, not some stupid and pointless 'sentimental' crap they will need to keep out of obligation. I have given people bulk boxes of baby wipes before as well. I figure they will need them and they will get used. I shouldn't have to pay someone because they decided to expand their family when I have my own to spend money on.

ANSWER
4 years ago
so while it may seem rude its also really practical.... for instance, its their second so they probably have everything they need. and things are going to get tighter financially. gift cards are great but they cant buy formula or nappies and those are the things noone can buy. (well nappies sure but will it be the right brand etc) people have seriously got to stop being so damned offended at everything. if you know them enough to know that money wont get spent on drugs or alcohol etc then really whats the problem????

ANSWER
4 years ago
I know a lot of people who do this, mainly because by the time you have baby shower the parents have already set up the nursery and got all the clothes they will need. while i think you should be greatful for anything, i also see that getting a while heaps of things that you are never going to use seems like a waste, wishing wells fix that problem.

I know i ended up returning a bunch of clothes (some from baby shower some that i brought) because we just had so much and bubs didnt get wear them all before he was too big, i gave away a box of nappies because he out grew newborn ones before we got to use them. I didnt/wouldnt use a wishing well but i can see why people would.

REPLY
4 years ago
Agreed. Call me lazy but I love giving gift cards or cash.

REPLY
4 years ago
I've hosted several baby showers and I thought the general rule was wait until after the baby shower to buy anything (other than the bigger necessities such as a cot, car seat etc)?
I can see where you're coming from, but most people I know LOVE buying baby stuff, so look forward to choosing cute little things for bub.

REPLY
4 years ago
most people have baby showers in thier 8- 9 month of pregnancy. Waiting until after that to buy anything means you may not be able to shop the sales or do lay by to pay it off.
i would want to be able to buy bits and pieces throughout pregnancy or layby them rather then having to go and buy every thing else at once and so close to the baby's birth.
While i agree a lot of people like to buy the cute little oufits But alot wont ever get worn or only worn once, i can see why people prefer gift cards or cash.

ANSWER
4 years ago
I would go a gift card to a baby store then you know it's going to be spent on the baby not them self's even if it's $10_$20 least the thought was there and they got there gift card

ANSWER
4 years ago
Just buy a card. Baby showers are getting ridiculous.

ANSWER
4 years ago
I worked with someone who was getting married, she invited us to just the ceremony and gave us a poem asking for money as they already had everything the wanted. We were a bit shocked as the girl had only been at work for a few months. The staff put in a couple of dollars each and got a small present anyway. If you are giving a gift it's fine to choose what you want to give. A baby shower for a second baby would only be a small present, I would give the small gift as you can't just put $10 in a card.

ANSWER
4 years ago
I would opt for a gift card instead of cash.... or just make what you were going to and give that :) I'm sure it would be appreciated either way

ANSWER
4 years ago
A baby shower for your 2nd baby is just tacky. Asking for money is just greedy. I would be busy that day.

ANSWER
4 years ago
the wishing well might mean she can stay at home with her baby a little bit longer which is the best gift of all

REPLY
4 years ago
sweeping statement much? believe it or not lots of people (and their babies) DO enjoy going back to work. Besides which, if they choose to stay home that's great but THEY should pay for it.

REPLY
4 years ago
and seriously, you might get half a weeks wages if you are lucky. Talk about having no idea about the real world.

REPLY
4 years ago
^ why did this statement hit a nerve with you I wonder 🙄

ANSWER
4 years ago
I'd probably be a bit happier to give money if they said what they were going to use it for, like a car seat or even a bank account for the new baby. But they've not said, so probably why it feels a bit rude.

ANSWER
4 years ago
I'd say the same as above greedy as hell and I would have an imaginary appt.

ANSWER
4 years ago
I've only heard of it as an option, like if you don't know what to get a small gift card from *** will help.

ANSWER
4 years ago
I find wishing wells for baby showers really tacky. Especially second baby showers. But yes they are becoming a thing now unfortunately. I think you should still make something though. Wishing wells should be nothing more than a suggestion/option, not mandatory.