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My partner bought me a gift - after I specifically said to him: "Thank you for the idea, but I do not want this." Now he

Answered 1 month ago

My partner bought me a gift - after I specifically said to him: "Thank you for the idea, but I do not want this." Now he is upset that I do not appreciate the gift. Who is in the wrong here?


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ANSWER
11 months ago
He is in the wrong. You expressed yourself, he ignored it and now he thinks he has the right to be pissed off. Don't think so.

REPLY
1 month ago
I cannot agree with this more!!! He’s a jerk, stand your ground!

ANSWER
11 months ago
It's not about the gift, it's about the thought.

My DH used to by me nothing. I finally cracked it on a milestone birthday when all he did was ask me what I was gonna buy myself. Nothing from the kids, no other acknowledgement. He got a huge party for his (he expected a 120 guest buffet that we were to pay for & I was expected to organise, with a baby in tow - I said no freaking way!)

Now he buys me stuff & it's the exact opposite of who I am & what I like. It's not the gift that's the issue, it hurts as it shows how little he knows me, or cares, tbh. If it's his mates he is always organised & buys them fantastic gifts. Also, we're tight money wise & I never get anything for myself so when I do I'd like to actually LIKE it.

I don't complain, though. I say thanks nicely & shove it in a drawer. He eventually asked why I'm not using this stuff & I told him politely it's just not something I use - I never have. He was devastated. Guess what I got next birthday? Same shit. This year he's getting $5 gifts from the kids.

REPLY
1 month ago
He sounds like a prize ..... a prize jerk that is!! I think no gifts at all should be what he gets this birthday. Or buy him something you want for yourself 😀

ANSWER
11 months ago
My husband is shit at getting gifts. I asked for a kobo with backlight it's like a generic kindle ereader he looked them up and said they are more expensive with a backlight and the glare is bad for your eyes I said then don't worry as the sole reason I want it is to read in bed and not disturb u with a light. He got me a kobo minus the light and then got upset I never use it. Also if he buys me jewellery it will be silver or white gold every time when I tell him I only wear yellow gold. One time he got me the Risk board game when he knows I hate board games when he asked me if I wanted that I seriously thought it was a joke but he came home with it lol! It's never been opened. But I should appreciate it's something as most times u get nothing or 1 hour before the shops close he wants me to race out the door like on Xmas eve and help him get me something then gets upset if I don't go lol

REPLY
1 month ago
No, you don’t need to appreciate the fact that he doesn’t listen to you and buys whatever he wants with no regard whatsoever to you..... your husband isn’t shit at getting gifts, he’s shit at being a good husband.

ANSWER
1 month ago
My husband bought me a nice coat cost $500 as a surprise. He said I deserved it because I haven’t bought anything nice for years. But I know $500 can buy many groceries and pay some bills. So I told him to return it and take me to choose myself. I bought $150 coat. As nice. And we’re both happy.

ANSWER
1 month ago
Sorry, i cant get past "my partner bought me a gift", i haven't had a gift from my husband in over 12 years.

ANSWER
1 month ago
You sound like a spoiled bitch.

ANSWER
1 month ago
My EX fiancé was looking at rings... he wanted to chose... I told him I didn’t like flower shaped or love heart shaped settings... and I prefer white gold although silver would be fine (we didn’t have loads of money) he brought me a flower setting with a stone in the middle surrounded by smaller stones with leaves engraved , it was yellow gold ?!?! He knew I hated it and kept saying it’s all he could afford... I know where he brought it and how much it cost and there were so many more half the price that were not fucking flowers or hearts in white gold

Turned out he was a controlling narcissist and I sold it for $250 (worth way more) to a couple that adored it

ANSWER
1 month ago
Honestly, it depends.
Did you suggest ideas for things you actually want? Do you have the money and/or space for the thing you wanted? Have you ever expressed a desire for that particular gift? Did you just want a different model or brand? Did he straight up disregard your feelings and get it anyway because he thinks he knows better? Or did he genuinely not hear you or not remember that you didn't want that one? Is he genuinely upset that you don't like it? If he is, it was a mistake and yes, you're being mean. If he got it because he decided stuff it, that's good enough, then he's a jerk. Yes it sucks feeling like your partner didn't care enough to listen to you, but we all make dumb mistakes or remember things wrong (I sure do). He may have honestly gotten muddled up and thought you'd be happy. We don't know all the details so I cant give a definite answer, but I can say that an honest dumb husband is better than a deliberate cruel husband.

ANSWER
11 months ago
You sound really ungreatful. Your husband wanted to do something nice for you and you shot it down.

REPLY
1 month ago
If he wanted to do something nice he could do anything other than buy the specific item she said doesn't want and has even gotten rid of better ones before.

ANSWER
1 month ago
Check his primary school report. Does it say ‘can’t follow basic instructions’?

ANSWER
11 months ago
I would just say thanks, then buy what I really wanted.

REPLY
10 months ago
And return the other gift

REPLY
10 months ago
No re gift it to him.

REPLY
10 months ago
😂😂

REPLY
10 months ago
Well it would get the point across.

ANSWER
10 months ago
My husband bought me an ice cream when I really was trying to lose weight - we were driving in the car. Of course I ate it I but he should not have out the temptation there. I said don’t be so presumptuous next time and he got all offended.

He knew I was on a diet !!!

Men are dicks.

REPLY
10 months ago
Mine does that. For example he might come home with a dozen donuts (hypothetical) saying he bought me some. In fact he's truly bought then so he can eat them, making him feel less guilty because it was my idea 😤

REPLY
10 months ago
Yes of course he bought himself an ice cream it was for him to justify eating it.

ANSWER
11 months ago
You specifically told him you did *not* want the item, then he bought it for you, now he's upset? He is completely in the wrong. He didn't listen, well, he heard you and ignored you. Why lie to him that you actually like the thing you said *NOT* to get?? So what, then he'll ignore you in the future again and do something that you don't want? Or when you don't use the the gift, he starts sulking again and asks why you don't use the gift, then you have to tell him you don't like it, then he gets angry/sulky because "why didn't you tell me sooner?". Lying will end nowhere good.

Don't grovel, don't act like you suddenly like the item just because he's saaaad. He shouldn't feel sad, he should feel like a fool; he bought something knowing you don't want it. Is it a test that he's putting you through - is he seeing what you'll do just because he's sad? Is he seeing how much you'll change just to accommodate him? Keep an eye out for other red flags of ways he might be trying to control you.

Remind him that you explicitly said you didn't want the item, so he can either return it or resell it, but tell him you take no responsibility for it. Remind him that you explicitly said you didn't want the item, so you take no responsibility for his sad feelings when you - surprise surprise - don't want them when they're in front of you.

REPLY
11 months ago
Agreed! I can't believe how many people have replied telling the OP that she should be grateful to get a gift that she said that she didn't want!! It's totally ridiculous to say that someone should be happy to get 'something' because they get 'nothing!

REPLY
11 months ago
This

REPLY
10 months ago
Absolutely! My ex would consistently buy the same gift for me for everything (a lotto ticket with a box of chocolates). When I complained I got hit with, it's the thought that counts bullshit. But theres actually no thought in that. Gifts dont mean a thing if its 'oh thatll do'. And if you specifically tell someone NOT to get you something you cannot be offended if theyre not thankful you got it anyway! People really need to THINK!

ANSWER
11 months ago
Lol iv kinda been where you are
My husband gets my nothing or something terrible. Often when I explicitly said I didn’t want it. And will get offended I’m not overly grateful he got my a bad present because the last 3 years he buys nothing.

Or when he forgets then gets me flower later in the day and knows I hate that even more cos now you’ve just wasted money on something that won’t make it better, however the one thing I have said would literally make me not be shitty at him is a nice small letter/ card, with even just a paragraph if something nice to me.
All I ever ask for is a card or a letter saying what’s lovely about me or what he loves about me.

Closest he ever came was a card that had a poem that he wrote “can’t beleive I found a card that said what I wanted to say. Happy birthday. From ***.

REPLY
11 months ago
I still have that card by the way. Imagine how much more I’d treasure a card filled with his own words.

ANSWER
11 months ago
What was it ?

REPLY
11 months ago
Pods with the worst review ever!

REPLY
11 months ago
What are pods?

REPLY
11 months ago
Ear pods. Wireless

REPLY
11 months ago
Mine have wires I must be so uncool

REPLY
11 months ago
^^ Hahaha. No you're not uncool Ear pods look stupid anyway. I got a free pair as a gift with a purchase and I sold them on eBay for $200. No interest in them. 😂

REPLY
11 months ago
I have AirPods and they are great when im exercising or gardening because they have no wires. The battery life is also much longer than my Beats set and the storage case keeps them charged. Nothing at all wrong with the wire ones, but these are the best Bluetooth earphones I’ve ever owned.

ANSWER
11 months ago
He was being cheap. He knew you didn't want crap ones but didn't splurge on decent ones. What you do is thank him, buy ones you do want then put the cheap ones away and give them to him next birthday/Christmas/father's day.

ANSWER
11 months ago
You sound ungrateful

REPLY
11 months ago
Thank you - how would you react?

REPLY
11 months ago
I would say thank you and be glad he took the time and effort to do something for me. Some of us don’t have people like that in our lives

REPLY
11 months ago
💜💜💜💜

ANSWER
11 months ago
What are pods?

REPLY
11 months ago
Ear pods

ANSWER
11 months ago
Buy your own pods next time

ANSWER
11 months ago
Is it possible he thought you were saying no because you didn’t want the fuss but in actual fact he thought it’s something you want?

REPLY
11 months ago
No - all the reviews we read about the item was bad - I really did not want it.

REPLY
11 months ago
If someone else bought it, a friend or a grandparent, would you have responded in the same way?

REPLY
11 months ago
^not really the same thing, assuming they share finances its her money hes wasted.

ANSWER
11 months ago
Depends on the situation. If it was something I told him I specifically didn't like or want Id be annoyed. If he just made a bad guess Id suck it up and sound grateful.

ANSWER
11 months ago
Grow up, seriously you got pods with bad reviews, maybe yours are fine. Maybe he cant afford $300,on a stupid item. Its a want not essential. Many of us can only dream of having spare money atm and you winge about pods. SMH you both need to grow up.

REPLY
11 months ago
Where they AirPods? Or cheap pods- I think you can get them fir $50 and they are bad from what i hear

ANSWER
11 months ago
Im not sure why you couldn't just lie and pretend?

ANSWER
11 months ago
You obviously have a communications issues. You made it a bigger deal by being a bitch & now you get to live with the shit storm

ANSWER
11 months ago
Id say thank you, pretend i was estatic and be greatful my partner bought me something. I never get anything so i cant talk from experience but its the thought that counts not the reviews etc

ANSWER
11 months ago
Ask him why he bought them when you were so clear about not wanting them.

Maybe he wants them for himself.

ANSWER
11 months ago
Take the pods back!

ANSWER
11 months ago
What was it?

REPLY
11 months ago
Pods with the worst review ever!

ANSWER
11 months ago
He didn't listen