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Unplanned third pregnancy and rocky marriage. Advice please.

Answered 1 month ago

As above, I’ve recently found out that I’m pregnant with number three. My relationship isn’t in a strong place. Any advice. Anyone been there?

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ANSWER
1 month ago
Yes, I was there only 13 months ago. I realised hormones made my part 100x worse but we talked I’m not saying we are perfect now but honestly I wouldn’t have given up my baby for the world wether I was doing it by myself or not. You need to do what you feel is right. The 3rd Bub just fits in your a mum, we are strong no matter what, sending my love to you! ❤️

ANSWER
2 months ago
Yes we’ve been there. Same thing happened.

In the end, we ended up with a beautiful boy who has made our family a more loving unit. It’s hRd work some days, but I look back and am thankful that it happened. Everything happens for a reason.

REPLY
1 month ago
This is my story too.

ANSWER
1 month ago
“7 principles of making marriage work”
Have a read. If you’re both open to strengthening/repairing I’ve found this book and its approach good.

ANSWER
1 month ago
Reading some of the responses here is so sad. For me personally when number 3 came along we where in an ok place not great though, but when I told hubby I was pregnant things changed and for the better. He began making an effort was considerably more thoughtful. Number 3 saved our marriage. He was our miracle rainbow we lost 5 babies in 2 years trying for him, he had 40% survival rate. But he made it and he is 4 now and we have an amazingly stronger than ever before marriage.
Just offering a different perspective and different outcome

ANSWER
1 month ago
Parenting and your relationship throughout this endeavor is probably the the most challenging things you will ever do emotionally. We both have profound love and want to give our children the best guidance and advise but sometimes, parent ideas on how to do this differ. This can cause such conflict and distress that we don’t think we can pull through the relationship. I’m not sure if this speaks to you at all but, you are not alone, it is tough but if you can find a way to navigate to negotiate and to sometimes just let go, then you can get to the other side and perhaps even enjoy each other again (although history suggests this may not happen fully until the kids have grown). But I hear it is tough alone and, unless there is betrayal or abuse, the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Financially and the weight of carrying all the day to day stuff mostly alone. Sit with yourself. Be healthy. Listen to your own higher self...you know that one that speaks best to you when you are in a really calm place. Ask yourself for your best pathway when your brain and heart are calm. Good luck. I have three children and am glad I am still with their father. He deals with the shot I just cannot with our teenager (not always the way I would), but I’m glad because this keeps her safe. I had an epiphany recently, that once we get through this difficult (lengthy) phase of parenting, I think we are going to enjoy each other more so again. We are sold the fucking fairytale idea of family and it’s a bloody myth! It’s the hardest thing you will ever do. Good luck. Take care and take courage.

ANSWER
1 month ago
Another baby is only going to naturally create more divide and strain. They do, they need all of your attention and there's absolutely none left for hubby.
To have a third child you almost need to start in the best place possible! Because it's hard and downhill from there before it's uphill again.

ANSWER
1 month ago
You do what you think is right.
But for me I had a 10yr gap between my middle child and my last.
With my last the relationship wasn't great after I fell pregnant to the stage he wouldnt go to bed when I did ect but I wasn't stopping it.
After my last was born we lasted 6 months then he left.
Later found out he had been cheating my whole pregnancy.
Best way to look at it. If you think you will be able to bring up 3 kids on your own if you have to keep going.
Tbh im not really for Abortion but I understand in some situations there no choice.
Good luck

ANSWER
1 month ago
I have been there. I continued with the pregnancy and tried to better my relationship. Ended up with 3 beautiful boys with 100% care when bub was 4 months old. 3 is hard, I was pretty much on my own before we split anyway. I wouldn’t abort because that’s my beliefs, but you need to do what feels right for you. Do you think your relationship could be worked on, or there’s no chance for it? Are you willing to possibly raise 3 kids on your own? Do you have support from friends and family? These are all questions you need to think about I think to make the right decision for you at this time in your life. Good luck xx

ANSWER
1 month ago
Abortion . Shouldn’t bring a life to this world if you guys are not in the great place. Whatever you decide to stay or separate at the end is your decision but the new life shouldn’t take this risk. Kids with separated parents are hard. You could make the best of it but at the end of the day it’s not ideal. For the two kids you have already had, you don’t have choice if the relationship has gone sour post kids but for this one you have choice.

ANSWER
1 month ago
You need to decide what you want from your relationship. It's easy to say separate or stay but the only person who really knows the answer is you. Every relationship has it's trials and tribulations. We all go through difficulties. It's about how well you can communicate together. Would you consider counselling?

ANSWER
1 month ago
Do you want to stay in the marriage? If not, then you should consider abortion. If yes, then maybe make a list of pros and cons

ANSWER
2 months ago
Been there too and we aborted I should have separated from my husband then. When I discovered I was pregnant I cried because my youngest was 6 at the time and I couldn’t imagine starting all over again with my husband.

ANSWER
2 months ago
Abort. I did, would have been no. 3 my youngest was 8 and didn’t want to do it all again with a new baby and my partner and I were not in a great place, we ended up separating a few months later ( nothing to do with the pregnancy) .

ANSWER
2 months ago
I'm sorry this hasn't been answered, as I know from experience how difficult this situation is. Please look through the search, as this exact question has been asked at least twice in the last few years