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How should I celebrate my birthday after husband’s affair?

Answered 2 months ago

I found out about the affair the day before my 50th birthday last year which left me devastated, especially my self-esteem. My birthday is coming up and I do not want to celebrate it in any way whatsoever as it is a trigger for me. However, my children (teenagers) will want to do something for me. I just want to runaway on that day and be by myself but I don’t want to hurt my children. What should I do?

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Answers

ANSWER
2 months ago
Have a nice family dinner with the kids ♡xx

ANSWER
2 months ago
Maybe take the teens for something wild that will keep your mind off last year. Like take them snorkeling or horse riding or singing karaoke. Something that is a little daunting for you but exciting for the teens. That way you get to feel proud of yourself for your achievement and you would be too involved in the day to spend time thinking of last year. Replace the bad memories with awesome memories.

REPLY
2 months ago
Thank you. Great ideas.

ANSWER
2 months ago
Many special occasions & even regular everyday occasions can be triggers. Try to focus on your kids & yourself enjoying your birthday, even if you have to be 'mindful' & bring the focus back to the day (minute by minute if necessary) rather than the awful event. Try not to let the trauma get in the way of finding some happiness, smiling or laughing, you deserve it. Try to note on your calendar/diary of good/happy events, to remember these more readily then the unhappy memories.

I speak from experience. My biggest trigger is my name ...... thankfully she used the shorter nickname version, although people call me that from time to time as well. I don't want to correct people, I'll sound 'precious', & I don't want to explain the reasons why.

His affair was not your fault.
You are worthy. You are loveable.

REPLY
2 months ago
Thank you. So kind!

ANSWER
2 months ago
Divorce him