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Has anyone NEVER been away from their children?

Answered 6 days ago

My husband and I have two children, 8 and 4 years old. Since our oldest was born, we have never had a date night out alone, or a weekend away etc without our children. We have absolutely no-one to watch them, so if I need an appointment (dr or haircut for example), my husband will have to take the day off/or half a day off work so he can stay with our youngest. I had a caesarean with our youngest, and my husband couldn't even be there for it, because he needed to mind our oldest.
We absolutely didn't have children with the expectation that others would mind them, but sometimes I have pangs of sadness when I realise my husband and I have not had a break for 8 years. Even just once a year to have dinner out together would be wonderful!
Our siblings and their partners all have fulltime jobs and busy lives, our parents are elderly, and our friends also have jobs, or they have really young children/babies, and we wouldn't feel comfortable asking them to mind our children when they are already busy enough. I guess I am just wondering if anyone else is in the same situation?

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Answers

ANSWER
4 months ago
There have been 2 occasions where I’ve been away from my children who are 8 & 10. Both of those times because of the death of a close family member. We rarely have dinners out for the same reason as you. But now they are both at school we do get the chance to have lunch date every second Friday when my husband has an ADO.

REPLY
9 days ago
What's an ADO? Sorry dont know what it is.

REPLY
4 days ago
Accrued day off, similar to an RDO

ANSWER
6 days ago
Yes we're in a similar boat. But we have 4 kids, oldest is 8. We don't have family here and friends are either single and childless and don't feel capable of babysitting 4 kids, or they have their own young kids.
We felt we needed the occasional date alone , not overnight just during the day, so we hire a paid babysitter to stay with the kids for a few hours every 2 or 3 months. The kids love the babysitter like a sister and are always so excited for when she comes and always have so much fun. She's a qualified childcare worker too so brings activities and does fun things with them.
Getting a babysitter could be something you could try. We even had her watch the older kids when I was in hospital having the baby so that my husband could be there with me.

ANSWER
8 days ago
Both my parents died when my kids were little and their father moved overseas for work. My social circle was incredibly small.
Paid babysitting services are where it is at. Once a month for 3-4 hours I used one when the kids were small so I could have some me time.

ANSWER
9 days ago
Yep, I have no one to watch my kids. My parents passed away before my eldest was born, my in laws are elderly, we don't have family close by and I don't trust anyone to look after my kids as I have a child with chronic asthma, and autism. So it's just been us and the kids for the last 7 years.

REPLY
8 days ago
The trust thing is a big issue here too. People tell us to get over it but it's a hard pass for us

ANSWER
8 days ago
Our eldest is 6 on Sunday. We are in the same boat. It's hard but at the moment we make it work (for now) by having little date nights on the loungeroom floor after the kids are in bed.

ANSWER
9 days ago
Yes! 3 kids here, 7,6 and 1 and hubby and I have never had date nights or weekends away since having kids. Mostly the same reasons as you and that my mum died when I was 12 and I don’t have a great relationship with my dad. My husbands mum lives far away too and we are not overly close to her either. My siblings don’t live close and even when they did they weren’t overly helpful or available. At times it has made me incredibly sad and maybe a little jealous of friends whose parents seem to do everything for them but in a lot of ways I’m happy the way it is. My husband and I make do and work around not having any help and if it was a desperate situation there would be people we could ask. I just try and remind myself there will come a day when my children are busy and have their own lives and hubby and I will have all the time in the world for doing things just us. You are not alone though and it can be tough and feel like everyone else gets to have a break but you

ANSWER
9 days ago
Yes, we were and in most ways still are. We have 3 children. Agea 5 girl, 8 boy, 13 girl. Our eldest is safe as she is almost 14 with her siblings now that they are older and with 3 German shepards, a security system etc. We never go far and our "dates" are things like doctor appointments together or a trip to Lowes. We do not leave a few block radius of our children and since my mother passed from Cancer (she was the active spry grandparent) and my in-laws are to elderly and not all there. I honestly don't mind much as I love my kids being around me. We have our bedroom and their bedtime for our adult hangout time. We used to have a friend bring their kids over to play, while us adults BBQ'd and played games.

ANSWER
9 days ago
We have never had a night away without the kids or date night etc. Our oldest is 16 and youngest is 3. One day lol.

ANSWER
9 days ago
We didn't have a night out until the oldest was 11, when we had family visit from OS. We have no family here & are self employed - they are our responsibility no one else's. Now the oldest is 16 we get the odd night when they go to sleepovers or camps.

ANSWER
4 months ago
It is your choice not to have any time away from your children. All you have done is outline a bunch of excuses. You haven't even asked anyone to look after them. You made the decision for them. Get a babysitter. Go out with your husband. Stop whining and do something about it.

REPLY
4 months ago
I haven't asked anyone to mind them because I am well aware that other people have extremely busy lives, and we don't want to add to it. We didn't have children to just dump them on family and friends - others might use their family and friends as a convenience, but we sure don't! We also don't want to leave our children with random babysitters. Maybe if you read my post properly you would see I was only asking if anyone else is in a similar situation. So instead of being a b***h, how about about don't comment if you are not in the same situation.

REPLY
11 days ago
Agree with this my child was and has been rarely babysat for the same reasons. Its our choice to have kids so looking after them is our responsibility.

REPLY
11 days ago
All she has done is not dump her kids on others. Its called being a parent. A good parent not a lazy parent relying on others to look after their kids so they can act childless. Sorry you accept life changes with kids and move on. Dont duml ur kids on others because you cant cope with the reality of your life.

ANSWER
11 days ago
Yup if you exclude 2 hospital overnighter stays for emergancy i have not been away from my child in 13 yrs

ANSWER
4 months ago
I have never been away from my kids longer
Than grocery or hair/dentists etc in which my husband is with them. My choice though as I don’t trust anyone with them. I would never hire a babysitter or nanny, I sent my eldest to preschool but not my second as I don’t want or trust others to help her with the toilet or getting changed, etc.

ANSWER
4 months ago
Is money an issue? If not, why wouldn’t you hire a babysitter? You could ask friends for recommendations if you didn’t feel comfortable using someone you didn’t know? Otherwise, why don’t you get your hubby to take a half day off work and plan a lunch date while your children are at school/kinder instead? Also, why don’t you book your appointments at the hairdresser and doctor for when they are at school too?

ANSWER
4 months ago
Can’t you do a swap one Saturday night and they have yours once a month and you have theirs, with your siblings children?