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I cheated on my 6 year boyfriend and feeling horrible

Answered 13 days ago

Ive been with my bf for 6 years.. We left each other 2 times over the course of time because he was unable to show me any attention and love , we would get into stupid fights because he is way to busy with construction ( general contractor) and gave me no time. All to say he is 10 years older then me has 2 kids and i feel left out. He always keeps his thoughts for himself and then gets very angry at me for things he kept inside that he didnt like that i do but never seemed to mention. ( ex:coming home later when im with a friend,) Recently things keep on downspiraling and i feel as if we are each others bestfriends but it never seems to work out. There is no communication and he can even ignore me when he doesnt feel like answering a questionand tell me stuff like i dont give a fuck you can go fuck yourself. And he knows it hurts me but then goes on telling me that he reacts that way because of how i make him feel. He has two kids and wants time alone with them when i take all my time to make them food play with them and occupy them when he is working to get left alone when its good for him. It sucks the whole situation is horrible because i love him and i cant see him out of my life but he makes me feel like im no one at times... and then he'll be thé sweetest the next day so i have a hard time letting go. I recently started speaking to this guy he told me to go see and told me to stop ignoring because he is a friend of mine... And i got caught up in him making me feel happy and worthy that i did everything but sleep with him because when it got to that point i stopped and felt like absolute shit. I feel like i did it because i feel like im nothing to him and im so sad that he doesnt express his love to me the way i do that it destroyed me. It didnt give me the right to do it but he gave me an open door always pushing me the other way and telling me he doesnt care. But i know we can fix it and i cant stand loosing him. I dont want to tell him its been so long:(

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Answers

ANSWER
1 month ago
After exerting myself into the depths of your writing, I have concluded a few things. To begin, I was quite flabbergasted when you said your significant other was a whopping ten years older then yourself. Not only is there a massive age gap, he has two kids. I am not a diagnosed therapist and while its not wise to assume, I believe the cause of the strife between you and your loved one is a direct result of these two important matters. Now with that said, I am not capable of telling you what to do. Follow your heart and be kind to him. If that does not work, I would research the grapefruit method on youtube and give your man a special treat. ; )

REPLY
1 month ago
10 years is not a whopping age difference.

REPLY
13 days ago
10 years is not a huge age gap my husband and I have 14 years

ANSWER
13 days ago
Honestly sounds like you both deserve better?

ANSWER
1 month ago
This sounds like it was a good thing to happen , you're relationship is not for you, clearly you are unhappy in it and I think you are scared to go find a better guy

ANSWER
1 month ago
You sound like you are in a horrible relationship. Who tells someone they love to go fuck themselves? Seriously, I think you should break up. From what you're described, I can't see him changing.

ANSWER
1 month ago
I'm stunned by the two answers you've already received.
Yes, cheating is wrong and theres never an excuse for it.
You did the wrong thing.
Now moving on from that this relationship and what little you have described sounds absolutely horrible. It sounds like theres very little respect and that you are a glorified babysitter. I'm not sure it's a healthy relationship to continue with. You sound like you have issues yourself where you allow yourself to be treated this way. You both sound like you need help.
This is absolutely not how any loving, respectful and loyal relationship should be.
Get help or move on. Don't waste any more time.

ANSWER
1 month ago
Ok, so I hear you were/are unhappy.
You said it was not an excuse to cheat, and its not. There is no excuse to cheat.
I don't think you're really taking ownership of what you have done, this whole post is mostly about the things your partner hadn't done to keep you happy.. a whole post that tries to excuse what you done, to justify it.
You need to stop trying to justify it. Take responsibility for your bad choices, because they were your fault and your decisions. It is not your partners fault you cheated no matter how he pushed you away, or how lonely you felt.
You need to tell your partner everything that has happened. Without placing any blame on him. Don't leave things out. Best chance of recovery from this - and I do think its possible - is if you come to him with the full disclosure of what's happened. Its far better than him finding out on his own, or through others. Or finding out more information at a later date because that starts the process all over again. You need to tell him everything.
I hope you have broken all contact with the affair partner and you can show/prove this to your current partner. Expect him to want to monitor you, and if he does want to you need to give him full access to all your accounts or other means of possible contact to the affair partner. His trust in you is going to be 0% for some time.
Expect him to want a break from you. He'll probably need it.
Do not contact the affair partner!
If you can't do this you aren't ready for recovery and need to ask yourself if you truly want to fix this relationship. You can't continue in the relationship as it is it is 100% unfair to keep this from somebody you love.
Bite the bullet and fess up.

REPLY
1 month ago
it isnt to justify.. its just to put in context the relationship and what it came out to. I do leave out a few things as well because they are hard for me to talk about.. but I do respect what you're saying. It is important for me to regain his trust. Im not trying to make excuses im just stating how i felt.