Periods are a fact of life when you’re a woman, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t annoying and downright inconvenient.
Still, we all get them, and we bet that you’ve all experienced these things at some point during yours.
1. That Moment When Your Period Arrives Unexpectedly
We’ve all had this one. You know the feeling, you’re sitting relaxing at home or (if you’re really unlucky) you’re out enjoying the period-free life when you get that horrible feeling that something has burst your downstairs.
2. And You’re A Bit Thrown Off
Because you were so sure you had a week or two of freedom left before the red tide came a calling?
3. Plus You Know You Have A Whole Week Of This
Which frankly is just about as depressing as it gets, and you’ll probably sit down at one point, once you’re stuffed full of pads, cups or tampons and have this thought:
4. But There’s A Little Relief
Of course, if you aren’t trying to get procreate then Aunt Flo does come with one positive side.
5. You Get All The Food Cravings
Like have you eaten in the past 100 years? Clearly not from the noises that are coming from your stomach. Fill the pit ladies!
6. There’s No Patience For The Men In Your Life
Ugh men! They just don’t get it at all, and deserve to be told as much.
7. Like, Seriously
When they step out of line, you just know they’re going to get a serve of your angriest wrath.
8. In Fact, You’re Pretty Much Pissed At Everyone
Yeah it’s not just the boyfriends, husbands and partners who get a red hot serving of your rage. Your children, your workmates and random people you encounter on the street should also duck and run for cover.
9. Or You’re Crying, At Anything
Ah yes, the crying. See a cute baby, have a cry. Something nice happens in a movie, have a cry. Break something, let me just give you the box of tissues because this week, you’re gonna need them.
10. Or Eating And Crying
You think you can stem the flow of tears with some of your favourite guilty foods, but if something sets you off, you’re likely to be double timing with drool and tears mixing together. It’s an attractive look.
11. Which Means Your Plans Kinda Get Messed Up
Yep all your well laid plans will go totally out the window, thanks to the traitorous behaviour of your uterus. More than once in your life, we guarantee it’s going to mess up something you were really looking forward to.
12. You Also Feel Terrible
Everyone’s familiar with this one, but that doesn’t make it any less worth mentioning. Thanks to the wondrous reality of cramps, you can pretty much guarantee you’ll feel terrible all week.
13. Plus You’re Super Bloated
Oh yeah that’s sexy. Not only are you starving hungry, in intense pain and absolutely raging at the world, but you feel fat as hell too.
14. Don’t Even Start On The Boobs
Oh, and your boobs feel like Satan himself is trying to tear them from your chest.
15. And God Forbid You Sneeze Or Cough
Because that’s basically the end of the world.
16. You’re Terrified Of Leaking In Bed
Which means you lie as stiff as a board, usually in the most uncomfortable position, for the entire night.
17. Or Anywhere For That Matter
Which is generally accompanied by a terrible feeling that something is wet where it shouldn’t be.
18. But For Some Reason You’re Horny As Hell
Of course, the thing you want most when you’re bleeding, cramping, starving, raging, bloating and leaking is to have an overwhelming desire to get some.
19. And Yet Too Tired To Act On It
But if you can finally convince yourself that it’s ok to ride the red stallion, you realise that you’re too tired for that anyway!
20. Basically Periods, What We Want To Say Is