Do you know what the most fascinating part of the female body is? The vagina, of course — no bias here.
Why? Because they depict what women are like — unique, tough, amazing and fun. They may be painfully annoying at times, moody and unpredictable. They are also confusing and clingy, like we all are (admit it). And what’s best about them is that they can actually look after themselves.
You don’t believe me? Then, perhaps you have been neglecting your vagina for quite some time.
If only those lips could talk…
23. “Get to know me better.”
Do we know our vagina like the back of our hand?
First off, we confuse the vulva as the vagina. The vulva is made up of all the external organs you can see including the mons pubis, labia majora (outer lips), labia minora (inner lips), clitoris, and the external openings of the urethra and then finally, the vagina.
The vagina is the muscular passageway that connects the vulva to the cervix. Some vaginas don’t have hymens, and like people’s faces, labias don’t look the same — pink, brown, black, tight, too open, poking out, wiggly, wrinkled etc. They look different from each other, embrace it.
22. “Why are you ashamed of me?”
Vaginas are way unappreciated. We say we love it, we do lots of things to it and with it, but let me ask you, do you know what your vagina looks like?
According to Women’s Health, you should look at your vagina on a regular basis, and for a good reason..
Studying your lady parts in a mirror can help you spot new moles, painful or bloody lesions, blisters or fissures, or thick discharge””all of which are reasons to book an appointment with your ob-gyn, stat. “In general, if something shows up that is not normal for you, always check in with your gynecologist.
Now is as good of a time as ever. Look, don’t just peek. Everyone does it and no, it’s NOT Weird.
21. “Foreplay, please.”
Your vagina loves foreplay. It tells you by gradually lubricating itself as you are aroused. And it tells you it’s not ready yet whenever you feel pain while having sex. About 30% of women felt some pain during sex even in their most passionate act. But this can be easily solved. You can ask your partner to switch to a position where you will not feel pain; there’s lube; or you can ask for more foreplay. It allows your vagina to prepare for penetration.
20. “Would it kill you to buy some lube?”
Low libido? The latest lowdown on lust says that lube will make sex much more pleasurable for you.
Researchers randomly assigned 2,453 women ages 18 to 68 to use one of six lubricants for two weeks, and asked them to compare their levels of sexual satisfaction and any negative symptoms they experienced when they used it with when they didn’t. Four of the lubricants were water-based and two were silicone-based.
A little lube can do the trick. NO, your saliva is NOT a lubricant. Get some water-based lubes as it prevents irritation and infection than oil and silicone lubes.
19. “Orgasms, lots of it.”
There are several reasons why your vagina loves orgasms. For one, orgasms improve the circulation to organs in the pelvic cavity. It also regulates your menstrual cycle, increases fertility, promotes healthy oestrogen levels among others. Although some women admitted to not experience orgasm from sexual penetration, there are always vibrators to help you jill off. Did that just pique your interest?
18. “We are self cleaning, that’s why.”
Vaginal discharge is the vagina’s way of cleaning itself. Cool, huh?
Your body makes mucus to flush out bacteria, which comes out as the vaginal discharge. Your discharge can vary and might be different from another female. Clear or white-ish is fine, but if it’s clumpy, yellow-green, brownish/tinged with blood, or fishy-smelling, then that might mean something else. Before you freak out, it would be best to talk to your doctor.
17. “No to douching.”
Again, your vagina is self-cleaning. Maybe you feel like you can make yourself super clean downstairs by douching, but you’re actually causing more damage than you think.
According to Lauren Streicher, an OB/GYN and clinical professor, “douching promotes the growth of bacteria and may increase your risk of pelvic inflammatory disease by transporting chlamydia or gonorrhea up into the uterus. In addition, vinegar and betadyne in douches can dry vaginal walls and increase inflammation.”
You do not need an overpriced bottle of vinegar that strips off your vagina’s natural flora, leaving you prone to infection. Just remember to wipe from front to back, shower and wash regularly.
16. “Gentle is the way.”
Again, ladies. Your vagina is self-cleaning, so you should probably stay away from harsh soap. Mild liquid washes can work but really, all you need is warm water in the shower or bath and the lady down there will do the rest. She’ll thank you for it.
15. “It’s almost that time of the month.”
Your vagina will tell you when it’s almost time for your period through discharge. For some, vaginas start to become annoying by giving you cramps, there’s vaginal bloating, feeling achy or unexplained tiredness.
14. “Enough carbs!”
Carbs — why do we do things that we know are bad for us?
Cake, jam, pizza, fries, candies, pasta, alcohol — all of these food should be avoided to attain a healthy lifestyle (Who am I kidding?). And here’s more, it is not good for your vagina. All those sugary deliciousness heightens your risk of getting a yeast infection.
13. “You should go see your doctor.”
Pungent smell? Weird looking discharge? Itchy or irritated down there? If you’re experiencing symptoms that you don’t normally do, then that’s your vagina telling you to go see a gynecologist.
12. “You’re stressed.”
Stress dries your vagina out. You know stress affects you in a lot of ways, and it affects your vagina too. Listen to relaxing music, go out, read a book or go on vacation if you feel like stress is taking up much toll on your body.
11. “You’re fertile.”
When you’re fertile, you will see more of the usual amount of cervical mucus. We have 30 times more vaginal discharge when we’re fertile than we have on other days, and it looks clear and stretchy. Increased wetness is another sign that you are fertile, too.
10. “You’re pregnant.”
Sometimes, pregnancy cramps may seem like menstrual cramps, so women mistake it as the start of their period. Bleeding and cramps are lighter than that of your period though. Besides bleeding, you will notice a white, milky discharge because of the thickening of the vagina‘s walls.
9. “Why can’t you just love me the way I am?”
Your vagina hates it when you shave her. Those lips can’t talk, but if she could, your vagina will probably scream at you and smack you in the head while sobbing and screaming like a heartbroken girl.
The purpose of your pubic hair is to trap vaginal discharge and bacteria away from your skin to prevent infection and irritation. So trim rather than shave, your vagina will thank you for it.
8. “You ate something that made me smell.”
Our vagina is not supposed to smell like flowers, but fishiness and/or any overwhelmingly strong pungent odour is something we should look out for as this might be a symptom of infections.
Another reason why vaginas smell is because of the food that we eat, too. Eating spices, garlic, onion, red meat, asparagus among others can make your vagina smell, and this is totally normal. It’s really unfair to blame them for that smell. Try filling up with fresh fruits, veggies, whole grains, and plenty of water.
7. “Let. Me. Breathe.”
We did tell you that sleeping naked is good for you, but you just wouldn’t listen! Your vagina is craving to be let out. If you’re shy about it then something lighter, like boxers or loose sweats will do the trick. When we sleep, we sweat and bacteria loves to live on these damp areas of our body.
The pelvic floor muscles support the womb, the bladder and the bowels and it weakens as we experience childbirth, weight gain and as we age. If the muscles weaken, they go numb. Let’s not allow our vaginas to go numb, ladies.
5. “Scented tampons? Are you kidding me.”
Yep, we just love putting our vaginas in danger. Scented tampons can lead to infections, some may affect you long-term because of the chemicals used in production. Dioxins which are linked to cancer are in tampons as well as most of the food we consume. There’s also Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), a deadly consequence of leaving your tampon in for too long or using them too frequently. Make better choices by staying away from anything scented that you’d put on your genitals, really.
4. “Who said I like rhinestones?”
There’s this in thing called vajazzling, but hear this — your vagina doesn’t like it. Your pubic region is not an art project. On worst cases, you might cut off parts when you didn’t mean too. Seriously. Keep them clean.
3. “Why are there piercings on me?”
One word, OUCH.
Your vagina is confused why you chose to put that piercing on her. Have you heard of the risks of genital piercings? Of all the other body parts, you chose to put that on her. I can hear your vagina ranting right now.
If you’re feeling a bit kinky, skip those piercing complications and get yourself some toys, that’s one sure way to leave your vagina happy.
2. “Stop calling me ridiculous names.”
Honey Pot, Axe Wound, Vajayjay, Kitty, Black Hole — the vagina has been called a lot of names.
But really, she just wants to be called ‘vagina’. or properly address which part when talking to your doctor rather than say Something’s wrong with my lady bits. We already gave you a run down. (Read #23)
1. “I am a legend.”
Because childbirth, that is all..