What Hot Mess Mums Do On A Night Off

When you get a well-deserved night off from being a mum, your imagination will probably run wild with all the crazy stuff you could be getting up to.

Dress up, put on makeup, do your hair, go out with your girlfriends, drink fancy cocktails in a sophisticated and chic little bar, go dancing…

And then you’ll wake up to yourself and realise that’s waaaaay too much effort.  You don’t need to use what’s left of the energy you’ve almost run out of after yet another hard day of cleaning up boogers and cemented Weet Bix and refereeing pointless screaming matches between your kids.

Putting your face on seems exhausting when you think about it. Did you really go to that much effort every weekend before you had kids? Did you really go out at 11pm and get home some time before dawn??

Yeah… on second thoughts, bugger going out. All you need is yourself and some paper towels.

Yes, paper towels. You read that correctly.

That bottle of white that’s been sitting on your wine rack forever… the good one you’re saving for a special occasion. Grab that bad boy. Girlfriend this is your special occasion… you are allowed to drink it on your well deserved night off. Don’t worry that it isn’t Christmas or your birthday. The wine won’t tell anyone. And neither will I.

“But it isn’t chilled! I can’t drink it! I’ll just have to stick with the usual sack of goon that’s in the fridge already!” I hear you cry.

Well…get ready for this. Paper towel. Paper towel will save the day.

Take your bottle of fancy plonk, wrap it in some wet 4-ply MAXIMA paper towel and put it in the freezer. It will help your bottle of wine to chill faster… in about 20 minutes it should be all ready to go.

That gives you enough time to order yourself a pizza.  And when the pizza arrives you can take your trusty MAXIMA paper towels and use them as a plate while you eat your pizza on the couch because NO WASHING UP that’s why! Get your chilled bottle of wine out of the freezer and you can even drink straight from the bottle if you really want to live it up and produce no washing up whatsoever!

Of course you should be doing all of this in front of the chick flick of your choice. When you find yourself drunkenly sobbing because nobody puts Baby in a corner, don’t bother yourself with reaching for a tissue, the MAXIMA paper towels are right there with you, remember, and they are super absorbent and can handle something as pedestrian as your drunken tears.

Slopping the wine all over yourself, or all over the couch and floor is no issue either if you have them at the ready. Nobody will ever know what a white hot mess you were on your night off… there will be zero evidence left behind.

Once you’ve finished the wine, pass out on the couch at 9pm and convince yourself you packed in as much excitement as if you’d gone out to that hot new club with your single girlfriends.

And when you wake up in the morning, you’ll have the MAXIMA paper towels all ready to go to wipe up your own drool.

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