33 Totally Inappropriate Kids Books I Want to OwnLol you will probably recognise some of these bad boys!

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Sometimes when I read books to the kids at night, I wish they were a bit more exciting…

Why can’t they be fun for grown ups too?  I nearly peed myself when I saw some of these…. now they aren’t real (well, I don’t think they are anyway – in fact I hope they aren’t!) but they are hell funny!  Prepare to wet oneself!

Presenting, 33 totally inappropriate kids books I want to own:

1. Every Time You’re Bad A Kitten Dies

So just prevent yourself from being bad, okay? Because I hate it when cats are dying, no matter how bad I am. Teehee.

33 Totally Inappropriate Kids Books I Want to Own | Stay At Home Mum
via teamjimmyjoe.com

2. Taco Bell Destroyed My Anus

Well I guess I’d have to agree with this. Just be prepared if your kid asks you why. Lol!

33 Totally Inappropriate Kids Books I Want to Own | Stay At Home Mum
via funnyism.com

3. My First Rave Fun With “X”

Looks like the kids were having a lot of fun. Hmmm, now I am curious as to who “X” is. Lol!

33 Totally Inappropriate Kids Books I Want to Own | Stay At Home Mum
via wikileaks.org

4. There’s A Gerbil In My Ass

Hey Dr. Seuss, why so obvious? Bahaha!

33 Totally Inappropriate Kids Books I Want to Own | Stay At Home Mum
via knowyourmeme.com

5. Because We’re Catholic

Errm, I don’t really get the point, but just don’t introduce this book to your kids if you don’t want to hear questions that you can’t answer.

33 Totally Inappropriate Kids Books I Want to Own | Stay At Home Mum
via donnasgeneralstore.com

6. Glue

Yep. You read it. GLUE. Is Glue the name of the baby horse? Or this book is about sticky glue and it just had a photo of two horses as a cover coincidentally? Lol what?

Stay At Home Mum
via www.fark.com

7. The Little Pimp & Ho Wagon

Psssh. Lol. I’m sorry I just shat my pants. *laughs until no voice came out of my mouth* *dies*

Stay At Home Mum
via liteimgpo.pw

8. Charlie Chokes His Chicken

Hnnnng. I can’t even. bahaha

Stay At Home Mum
via knowyourmeme.com

9. Paddington Gets Tanked

No more marmalades for him, eh?

Stay At Home Mum
via collegehumor.com

10. Cocaine And How To Sell It

I SHAT MY PANTS version 2.0. I’m sorry I can’t do this anymore. bahahaha

Stay At Home Mum
via arranalexander.co.uk

11. Let’s Start A Cult

What a cutesy cult it would be!

Stay At Home Mum
via teamjimmyjoe.tumblr.com

12. The Tiger Who Came To Tea

Err, are children’s heads considered as tea nowadays?

Stay At Home Mum
via brownsbfs.co.uk

13. My First Foot Fetish

Hmmm. I can already smell it from where I am. Huhu.

Stay At Home Mum
via carsonandtonee.com

14. It’s Totally Fucking Fucked Mate, Big Time

This, my friends, is how you teach your kids to cuss.

Stay At Home Mum
via awwmemes.com

15. The Enormous Turnip Orgy

This looked Photoshopped, but just keep this one away from your kids. Please.

via www.ebay.co.uk

16. The Worm In My Tummy (And Other Stories of Tropical Diseases)

I got curious whether the worms in my tummy had hats like the one on the cover of this book.

Stay At Home Mum
via knowyourmeme.com

17. Games You Can Play With Your Pussy (And Lots of Other Stuff Cat Owners Should Know)

THIS. KILLED. EVERYTHING. ON. THIS. LIST. bahaha

Stay At Home Mum
via twitter.com

18. Laying Cable

Uh, what?

Stay At Home Mum
via you-can-be-funny.com

19. Shopping For Kotex With Mother

“Mum, what’s Kotex?” Learn the basics, kids. Lol.

Stay At Home Mum
via thewoodenpostcardcompany.com

20. The Runaway Condom

I still can’t believe people Photoshop book covers. But if this is true, then be prepared for a barrage of queries from your kids.

Stay At Home Mum
via teamjimmyjoe.com

21. The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Porn

Hmmm. I’m curious about bear porn. Not!

Stay At Home Mum
via knowyourmeme.com

22. We Love Your Sister More

Sorry darling, but we do.

Stay At Home Mum
via onsizzle.com

23. What The Fuck Is This Shit

Getting better at this craft, huh Dr. Seuss?

Stay At Home Mum
via queengidrea.blogspot.com

24. As Good Of Place As Any (To Lose Your Virginity)

Kids, don’t do IT at the woods. Please.

Stay At Home Mum
via nchsbands.info

25. Donny And Marie Join The Klan

Really huh?

Stay At Home Mum
via pinterest.com

26. You Only Need One

Well hun, we must sell some things during the hard times and that includes one of your kidneys.

Stay At Home Mum
via me.me

27. Grandpa Won’t Wake Up

So just let him be, for god’s sake!

Stay At Home Mum
via cbr.com

28. Junie B., First Grader Home Abortion

Say what now?

Stay At Home Mum
via somethingawful.com

29. Timmy’s First Gay Bar

Bahaha. Like seriously?

Stay At Home Mum
via saintvladymir.blogspot.com

30. Pop! Goes The Hamster (And Other Fun Microwave Games)

Hmmm hamster flavoured popcorn. Ahihihi!

Stay At Home Mum
via pinterest.com

31. Momma’s Outta Pinot

Because wine is life, kids.

Stay At Home Mum
via www.harpercollins.com

32. Sleeping With Rohypnol

Always, always say NO to drugs, kids.

Stay At Home Mum
via pinterest.se

33. The Strange Object Mommy Got In The Mail

JUST TAKE NOTE OF THE AUTHOR’S NAME. Lololol. Brb I’m dying.

Stay At Home Mum
via www.amazon.co.uk

Bwahahahahaha – now if you didn’t laugh at any of those, you don’t have a soul!

Got one to add to the list?  Share it with us!

33 Totally Inappropriate Kids Books I Want to Own

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