Today’s 5pm dilemma is from Peter. Peter says:
“My partner (call her B) and I separated before our child was born so I only see my newborn daughter 2-3 times a week. This week my B tells me that L has heat rash on her face with milk pimples (which she never liked and had a hard time accepting they’ll just go away). Now I’ve had the fortunate task for changing L’s nappies and notice that she’s being over fed (small little white balls in her nappy). I suspect L is overheating and getting to hot which explain the heat rash and why she want more milk that her body can consume. B put some cure rash on her face to help, however I tried to encourage her not put anything on, just to keep her face dry and possibly remove some layers of blankets and it will go away on it’s own. I did reassure her that B was an awesome mum whilst saying this a number of times. however this was met with “You’re not here so you don’t know”, “I dis-agree and while she’s in my care, I’ll do what I think is best and the law’s on my side”. I’m paraphrasing here for brevity. the situation i see is that B is so close to the minute by minute stuff that she’s not looking at the big picture to resolve the problem, just fix the incident.
How do I be supportive of her whilst trying to provide a different ideas to problems without her taking everything I’m saying as an attack on her parenting skills? Maybe your readers could help with some advice.”
What do you suggest Peter do?