I got married three years ago and my Mother in Law and I got along like a house on fire. Since I’ve had my first baby six months ago – she has become very interfering and telling me how to parent – how do I tell her to back off without hurting her feelings and ruining our relationship?
Let me described how not to deal with this situation”¦”¦I took it like a moe foe for about year before I lost my shizzle at a delightful family function!!! And needless to say our relationship has never been the same since”¦.why, because she was “only trying help” and “had the best of intentions” pffftttt
I believe the “Normal” way (not the Nikki way) to handle this is take the time to talk to her and throw in the obligatory complement of either:
- I appreciate everything you do for me but I’m trying to learn things on my own
- I want you to be able to enjoy your relationship with your grandchild without worrying about all the “Mum” stuff
- Possibly make sure you take the child with you as this will avoid a full blown all in free for all scream fest and kids make an excellent buffer when it comes to dealing with grand-parents. Don’t’ be afraid to wave the child in front of them if it’s required to calm the situation down. (my other half is a massive fan of this move).
If she is understanding and doesn’t turn into Satan at the slightest hint of criticism then you have totally rocked it out with no drama’s, no tears and not having to deal with your in law whinging her guts out to your husband.
If she does take offence then all you can really do is suck it up and hope she gets over it cause ultimately the child is yours and you have to do what works best for you. Tread carefully and always be as nice and polite as possible so it doesn’t bite you in the backside later on.
But if you don’t’ take a stand then you will spend the rest of your life taking it like a bi-artch and resenting her for it.
I’m a Mum of 2 (plus one extra if you count my other half) who works full time, is studying in what spare time I have who is always down for a bit of brutal honesty to help those that can’t see the wood from the trees and need a bit of a kick in the pants to see what’s what”¦…Be warned, I don’t’ beat around the bush but will happily share my unique advice skills, so strap yourself in and open yourself up to so Nikki lingo and let’s see where the journey takes us.
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