Part 4 of the Diary of a Single Mum by Miss Butterfly. To read the first installments – Click Here!
One day while I was out doing my shopping I was stopped by one of those sales people in the middle on the shopping centres trying to sell you crap… when asked about donating money for a cause that didn’t interest me and I replied with no thanks I don’t have the money to spare as I was a struggling single mum. The comment that came out of that person’s mouth made me so furious. “Oh your one of those”……. When I questioned him about that comment he was like all attitude towards me. “You go out and have kids to what different fathers and now you sit on your ass and do nothing all day long and depend on handouts to raise your kids.” Apart from thinking of punching this guy out I looked him straight in the eye and said in a rather loud angry voice “How dare you, how dare you say something like that to me. You know nothing about me or where I come from and to make judgments on me, it is totally uncalled for”. And walked away.
I walked straight into the parent’s room at the shopping centre and broke down and cried. Now because I am a single mum I am automatically labelled as one of them…. Well I am not. It’s about time people started to change their attitudes towards single mums and some dads. It sucks, its hard and most of all frustrating that a small number of irresponsible women and men out there give all a bad name.
It’s not the first time this has happened to me. And I am sure it won’t be the last. But let me tell you this, it hurts. Every time I am judged as being one of them it really hurts. It’s like every time I hear someone say that to me, my confidence, self-esteem goes backwards. It really makes me want to curl up into a ball and disappear. Why am I being judged when I am the one who has done nothing wrong, I left the bad situation to make my children’s and my lives better.
I didn’t choose to be single, I had no choice but to be single. I have to keep saying that to myself and now I say that to other people. Other times when people ask why I am a single parent I tell them that I am a survivor of domestic violence. I chose to leave the situation instead of bringing my children up in that kind of environment. And even after hearing that, people still say I did the wrong thing and that I should not have left him, should have just learned to live with it and be a family, I chose to have kids with the man so I should be forced to stay with him to bring the kids up in a family unit.
I get that there will be people out there who will judge me and say I have done it all wrong but I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and that I will just have to learn to live with the fact that there will be people out there who will do nothing but criticise me for what I have done. But how I see its their loss not mine. I believe that I have done the right thing. The right thing for both me and my children.
By Miss Butterfly