Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

This is the first in a few part series of The Diary of a Single Mum.  Thank you to Miss Butterfly for her true to life story.

Growing up I always had the same dream, my knight in shining armour would come into my life, make me happy, we would fall in love, he would want to marry me and have a bunch of babies…. Well when I did grow up, I did meet what I though was my knight in shining armour, we fell in love, got engaged and decided to have a family.

Over time things changed, it wasn’t me it was him. He would pick on the smallest things and turn them into a HUGE issue. I never believed that saying love is blind, but now looking back on the 5 years I was with Mr X I can see it all. In those years I suffered verbal, emotional, financial and eventually physical abuse. It didn’t happen straight away, it got worse over time. Don’t get me wrong I did leave when he hurt me, but he always called and begged me to come back, promises of not doing it again, of changing so we would be together. And as I was so ‘in love’ with Mr X I did go back. It wasn’t only that I lived in fear, he terrorised me saying that he would do harm to the people who meant a lot to me, my family, if I ever thought about leaving him.

As the years went by and I started to have babies I thought it would change, how wrong was I. It was at its worse after I had baby no 2. Now over these years my family and friends tried to get me to stay away from him but I had to see it all for myself. When I finally had enough I had no idea how to leave him, to escape him, little did I realise that my friends and family had it all worked out that the minute one of them got a call from me wanting out they would drop everything and get me out of there asap.

After our last fight and the police took him away, I finally made the call 3am in the morning I woke my mother up and told her I wanted out and needed help.  Within 4 hours of making that call, friends and family members showed up at my house (which I was renting with Mr X) with boxes and trailers and within about 4 hours all my things and the kids things were out of the house, my mum and stepdad went to the real estate with me told them what had happened paid up my share of the rent and left.

I always thought my knight in shining armour would be the man I would spend the rest of my life with and have a family with. That was so not true in my case, my knight in shining armour was my friends and family who rescued me and my two children from a life of abuse.

I didn’t choose to be a single mother, I had no choice but to be a single mother. I saw the fear in my sons eyes when he saw what his father did to me. I didn’t want my children to grow up in an environment where they didn’t feel safe, and home was meant to be a safe place, I didn’t want to allow my children’s development to suffer as a result of living in this environment.

Since that night it has been 2 years and I have established myself and my two children in one of my families rental properties and finally a smile is returning to my face.

Look out for Part 2 next week!

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