Part 2 of our Diary of a Single Mum series by Miss Butterfly
Ok it was a Friday night when the last fight happened with Mr X. The last time I saw the anger in his eyes, the last time I saw fear in my son’s eyes, yes it was that bad that my son woke up and witnessed what happened but lucky for me that my baby girl was sound asleep through the whole episode. Saturday ‘moving day’ was a blur. We just got everything out as quickly as possible as we didn’t want to be around when he was released from the watch house. Just didn’t want to face him anymore. We just drove straight to my mother’s house and unloaded everything into the shed until we, my mum stepdad and I, could figure out what to do next.
The whole time while this was going on, my kids were always on my mind. I kept saying I didn’t want to be a single mum. But most of all I kept having to tell myself that it wasn’t my fault, I did nothing wrong. I want my kids to feel safe in their home, I want them to grow up and be happy not having to walk around on egg shells waiting for the next time. Next time daddy would come home drunk as and start screaming and hurting mummy. My kids deserved better, I deserved better. A better life and if it meant without him then that was what had to happen. I didn’t have the problem, Mr X did.
With the help of my mother, on Monday morning my first phone call was to Centrelink. Why first thing in the morning, well they start processing your requests from the day that you call and if you delay calling them you are delaying yourself assistance from them and the Family Assistance Office. I was lucky enough to speak to the most understandable person on the phone that morning, they told me what I had to do next and even transferred me through to the other departments I had to speak to so I didn’t have to call them all up. Also as I was involved in Domestic Violence they also arranged for me to speak to a counsellor which I was so grateful for as they enabled me to process a lot of what had happened to me and the kids and also what to do in the future on my own without Mr X in my life.
The other important phone call I made that morning was to the Child Support Agency. Mr X was the father of my children, he had to be financially responsible for them. That was my attitude for a very long time, but that is another issue I will discuss later. With talking to the person about the situation, of which I discovered that by telling the whole truth and not leaving any details out they will help you more than if you just told them the basic and if you are demanding or rude to them. Anyway they took all the details that I had of Mr X but advised me that the best thing that I could give them was if I knew it was his tax file number because when everyone starts working at places they fill out a tax declaration form and that is how they can find out his earnings.
Stay tuned for Part 3 next week.