How to Find a Flatmate (That Isn’t A Psycho!)

6 min read
How to Find a Flatmate (That Isn’t A Psycho!)

Having spent a number of years living in a flat share in London, I’ve seen more than my fair share of shed pubic hair that does not belong to me. 

Having a flatmate or flatmates can be really rewarding. A good mate helps you overcome boring episodes where you may end up staring at the ceiling for like, ever, just because you are too bored and uninspired to put pants on to socialise with anyone outside. Yes, you love the flat, but the rent is too high so the solution? Look for a flat or roommate. Aside from filling the time shooting the breeze with useless banter, flat mates can be really handy if you’re single – hello instant new pool of prospects!

But, what if your flatmate turns out to be the devil’s incarnate. Imagine, coming home one night to find all your food that was in the fridge is now getting warm on the kitchen bench? Why, just because you bought a steak and they’re a strict vegetarian. Or a roomy who decides that 2.00 am is the best time to invite their friends over to see the new pad and then use the hand towels to wipe their ass on. Yes, this is what you get if you have a flatmate from hell!

How Can You Avoid a Flatmate from Hell?

The last thing you can imagine sharing your space with a psycho! Putting up with their mannerisms and general shitty behaviour will drive you crazy. Running for the hills may be a much better option; but, you’ve already paid the rent. Unfortunately, many realise their roomy is psycho after they’ve been together for some time. Many don’t usually exhibit their creepy behaviours from the start but after sometime, they settle in and fart on your pillow when you aren’t home. Your only option is to tolerate them till the contract is over. With some careful sleuthing you can avoid being in this situation from the word go.

1. Talk to Your Friends

When looking for a flatmate, many people are always in a rush to fill the empty space and split the expenses. They will therefore place ads and settle for anyone who comes along. This is the wrong move indeed, don’t rent the room to that really hot guy, he’ll probably spend all his money on hookers and booze and forget that he owes you last month’s cut for the bills. What you need to do is first approach your close friends. At least you are sure who is and who isn’t a psycho. This may take some time since you have to approach them personally. Also, your friend may not be planning to move out soon or needs a bit of convincing. But, Hey isn’t it better to wait a month longer than be stuck with a crazy person for a couple of months.

How to Find a Flatmate That isn't a Psycho | Stay At Home Mum

2. Be the First in the Flat

Though it is an unwritten rule, the first person who settles in the flat is deemed to be in control. They will have the privilege of setting out the rules and guidelines and also can choose who to accept and who not to. Naturally, they will have found the place first so it seems logical. If you are the person filling up the empty space then you will be under the mercy of the principle renter. You simply have to agree to the stipulated rules (which have been set by them) and then move in. When running out of options you may find yourself accepting the invite from a psycho.

3. Follow Recommendations

If you don’t want to keep up with the loud noises as your flatmate makes out with her boyfriend or girlfriend, or having to clean the dirty utensils that have been in the sink for two days then you better seek recommendations from family, relatives or close friends. True it’s not the fastest way to land a flatmate, but, you are more assured of NOT sharing your space with individuals with too much baggage. A sibling, an auntie, or friend may already be aware of a person looking for a flatmate. And he wouldn’t refer you to a person who will make your life hell (at least for the sake of the family or friendship).

4. Use Social Media

Is there anything more annoying than finding a pair of rancid socks on the kitchen sink or fruit basket (don’t ask me how it got there in the first place)? Or seeing strangers rummaging over your food items in the fridge that you were planning to consume over the week or two (they are not your friends and worst still they expect you to cleanup). To avoid such scenes always use the power of social media. Don’t just wait for a stranger to knock on your door. You will have made couple of genuine friends over the networking sites and can tell whether they can make a good flat mate or not.

How to Find a Flatmate That isn't a Psycho | Stay At Home Mum

5. Don’t Be a Psycho Yourself

Many times, people complain about their flatmates being psychos. But, they have no clue that they as well have issues. If you constantly bring random lasses or guys without consulting your mate, forget to clean up after using the washroom,( how annoying and disgusting can that be), or expect the dirty dishes to mysteriously clean themselves up, then you are psycho. Your bad behaviour may turn a good flatmate into a psycho just to get back at you. As the old adage goes “an eye for an eye” or “you see the speck in your friend’s eye but not the log in yours,” you get what you deserve. Be organised and respect other people’s space and privacy.


Listed above are some ways of minimising the chances of living with a psychopath. A flatmate, who doesn’t respect your space, thinks he is better than you, or believes the world revolves around him(it is always about him and what is right for him). Or maybe she doesn’t want your friends to come over, has turned the flat into a hangout for god knows who, or thinks that she has rights to your stuff.

Besides offering you good company and keeping expenses low, following the above tips on how to find a flatmate (that isn’t a psycho!) will bring you peace-of-mind.

About Author

Jody Allen

Jody is the founder and essence of Stay at Home Mum. An insatiable appetite for reading from a very young age had Jody harbouring dreams of being a pu...Read Moreblished author since primary school. That deep-seeded need to write found its way to the public eye in 2011 with the launch of SAHM. Fast forward 4 years and a few thousand articles Jody has fulfilled her dream of being published in print. With the 2014 launch of Once a Month Cooking and 2015's Live Well on Less, thanks to Penguin Random House, Jody shows no signs of slowing down. The master of true native content, Jody lives and experiences first hand every word of advertorial she pens. Mum to two magnificent boys and wife to her beloved Brendan; Jody's voice is a sure fire winner when you need to talk to Mums. Read Less

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