I’m a Mumma Bear of two boys, so I totally get the ‘Not Listening’ thing….
And I’ve tried so many different ways to get them to listen. But they are kids…and boys…..
I’ve tried quite a few strategies over the years as I’m the type of person that will escalate to yelling like a banshee when they don’t do what they are told after the 15th time I have asked them. Then the husband says that I sound like a fishwife! Jesus H Christ!!!! Sometimes I want to biff him in the face with a brick! I’m trying!
The super annoying thing is that the boys listen to their Father. That really grated me for a very long time… until I started to analyse just what it was that he was doing, that I wasn’t.
So I’m not saying that he is right – but here is what I have witnessed…
Being a Mum was never going to be easy….
He Gets Down To Their Level
When my husband is asking my boys to do anything, he crouches down to their level to ask them. He engages eye contact so he knows that they are 100% aware that they are being asked a question – to their face.
I tend to just yell from the other side of the house…..
My little turkeys
He Speaks Softly To Them
He speaks to them very quietly, which means that they need to be quiet to hear him speak….
I get louder from the other side of the house when they don’t answer me….
He Remains Calm….
I lose my shit.
He Listens to Their Responses
I just talk louder over the top. And I get louder and louder and louder until I lose my shit and just move out of home.. Kidding.
He will Join in And Help Them in Their Task
I think they should know it by now and just do what they are asked!
He Gives Them Short Concise Instructions
He will tell them ‘Put on your shoes and socks and come back here.”
I’m like ‘Go and put your shoes on and brush your hair and put deodorant on and put your lunch box in your school bag and put the school bag at the front door ready to go, HURRY.”
He Rewards Them for a Job Well Done
If the boys do a chore such as emptying the dishwasher, my husband will tell them what a good job they have done and gives them a High Five.
I on the other hand will tell them that is part of their job living in this household….
He Tells Them The Consequences of Their Actions
I’ve been asking the boys for five years now to please put their lunch boxes on the kitchen bench when they get home from school. Do they do it? Nope.
But hubby tells them that when they leave their lunchbox in their bags bacteria can grow in there and it will make them sick. They now do it.
So I’m not saying that my husband is right and I am wrong (pfft – no way – and he won’t read this) – but I’ve come to the conclusion that I may need to start doing things just a little bit differently if I want the boys to listen to me!