Giving Love With Adoption

Full of nerves and bounding with love, Ben looked over the cot and stared into his son’s eyes and said, “Hey, Mate.”

His gesture was returned with a mouthful of giggles and two chubby hands reaching up for a hug. This was the first time Ben and his wife Alisha had met their son, five-month-old Eli and their hearts filled with an unmistakable love that only new parents can describe.

A week before they had received a phone call that changed their world. It was a phone call the couple were hoping for but did not expect, as the adoption rate in Australia is less than one on average per year.

But after 18 months, mountains of paperwork and a dedication to provide a safe home to another, Alisha and Ben welcomed their son home. This is the story of how this amazing couple gave life to a child in need and why they chose to adopt.

Kate: Tell me about your decision to adopt.

Alisha: Adoption is always something that has been close to both of our hearts (Ben and myself).  For Ben, both of his parents were adopted and only children within their families, so Ben grew up with adoption as part of his “normal” everyday life. I am a nurse and have done some work overseas with Care for Africa in Tanzania (Africa). Visiting the orphanage really opens your eyes to the fact that every child deserves to have a home and a family.

We chose to adopt because we wanted to start a family.  To provide a loving, safe, secure environment for our child to grow and thrive, and a home which provided unconditional love.

Kate: When did you start the adoption process?

Alisha: Around 18 months ago! We started the process of Adoption & Permanent Care when we moved to Canberra in December 2013.  The adoption processes is state based and you must be living in the state for a minimum of six months before you are able to apply and start the process.  We had looked into the process in Tasmania two years prior, but knew we would be travelling for work and must be settled in one location before we started paperwork.

We were initially considering overseas adoption; however the eligibility criteria is very rigid (must be married minimum of three years to adopt from Hong Kong, must have practising Christian beliefs to adopt from Philippines, etc.), so Thailand was our only option and waiting times are getting longer: three to five years once the paperwork has been submitted.

After our initial information session we were told that local adoption was not common (less than one on average per year), so we decided to proceed with permanent care, but also have our name down for local adoption). We never in our wildest dreams thought that a local adoption would occur!

Ben and I were shocked at the need within Australia, so decided that Permanent care was a fantastic option to care for children locally rather than looking overseas!

*permanent care: child is taken away from parents and put into foster care due to neglect, abuse, etc. (can never go back to parents) so is placed with a family in permanent care to live with them until 18 years of age.  In some cases after two years you can formally adopt the child, however not always (e.g. if they were aboriginal it would not be allowed due to child’s heritage).