Women giving birth in movies look 100x perfect than what actually happens in real life, and so far from what we actually feel when the action starts down there. Supposedly it doesn’t hurt, but just feels uncomfortable..
Sometimes it fucking hurts you wanna kill the person next to you. I sincerely apologise to all the delivery room nurses, we just felt like ripping you to pieces when we saw you because something is actually getting ripped out — totally ripped out — down under.
Now don’t get me wrong, birth is beautiful.
I love my boys and grateful to have them. They are the most precious things on earth! But really, giving birth ain’t pretty. It sucks!
And this is what you told us!
“What I wasn’t prepared for was the sound of my placenta being delivered. Most disgusting soggy wet slurping sound ever!!!”
Candida O (Facebook)
Belinda R (Facebook)
“The moment when you feel the sting and burn of the head coming out and you later realise that you have hemmeroids the size of Mt Everest near your butt, and pooping becomes so very, very painful!”
Vanessa Jae C (Facebook)
“My baby had a bowel movement in utero, so the first thing I heard when the doctor opened me up for the c-secion was ‘Whoa!, Somebody pooped in the pool!”
Rosanna B (Facebook)
“Trying to throw up during my c-section, while the push and shove to get my 10lb 5oz baby out… I just kinda layed there like Jesus with my tongue to the side… lol so gross!”
Ali R (Facebook)
“My Grandmother was present at the delivery. After the final push as my daughter was born, I looked over to my grandmother to see if she was crying… She wasn’t. She was standing in the corner, horrified at what she had just witnessed. After the chaos died down I asked her why she was so horrified, having given birth herself. She looked me dead in the eye and said ‘I have never seen no shit like that in my life. Don’t call me ’til the baby’s born on the next one, OK Mija?
Janay Danica G (Buzzfeed)
“I got really drunk on gas and air with my second daughter, and said that I could smell melted vanilla ice cream, and that everything tasted blue.”
Maggie S (Facebook)