I have been called many things in my life; a bitch, manipulative, intimidating – to name a few.
Some things I will apologise for, I know my faults (namely the first two) however, there are many things that I simply will not offer an apology for, especially as a parent, no matter how controversial or socially-unacceptable to other people they may be.
1. Bottle-feeding my daughter
Women receive criticism left, right and centre from breastfeeding mums about their choice to bottle feed and I don’t understand why. Everyone knows that some women simply can’t and some women just choose not to, who is anyone to judge?
I was personally devastated when at 7 weeks old, my daughter refused to breastfeed, but what would have been better, continue to fight a losing battle while her weight plummeted, or fill her tummy up in a manner that she preferred and kept her happy? Oh pick me, pick me, I know the answer!
2. Solo shopping…and enjoying it
Shopping with a 3 year old is nothing short of a nightmare. You have to pack a mountain of snacks, things go flying off the shelves and you have to curb your behavior in public – it’s exhausting and not one ounce enjoyable.
I shop alone, and I bloody enjoy it. I try bras on for as long as I like without the curtains being flung around, I ponder over the best broccoli without watching the grapes diminish into my thieving daughter’s mouth. It’s one of the very few pleasures I immerse myself in and you know what, all mums deserve a break sometimes.
3. Being Overweight
I’m a strong believer in beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and I am no exception. As a chubbier girl, I see the way people look at me sometimes. The whole eyeball roll, the look up and down and then quickly turn away as I meet their eye. It is embarrassing and at times I do find myself getting upset about it but I accept who I am, the life I have lead and the way that Buddha made me. I carried my beautiful daughter for 9 months and am still brandishing the remains of her temporary home. The foundations are still very much there.
It’s taken me a while, but I am happy with the way I look. I am strong, I am tanned and exotic and I have a smile that makes you feel welcome. But more importantly, I am me, and me, well, is pretty darn good. And to the people who look at me in my swimmers with disgust – if you don’t like it, then don’t look at me!
4. Immunising my daughter loudly and proudly
The Pro-Vax Vs Anti-Vax debate is one that will never end. It creates mass amounts of disharmony and Facebook wars that exceed the ‘legal’ amount of FB comments. I do however, proudly type here to you as a strong Pro-Vax advocate and I will share my opinion with anyone who asks.
I love my child like nothing else and it is my duty as her mother, her creator, to protect to her form harm in every way possible. Vaccinating her against preventable diseases is one of those things. Yes, we’re sheep, yes, we’re part of the ‘herd’ community and yes, I am proud of my decision to protect her and other people who are unable to be protected.
5. Working from home and sending my daughter to day care
Working from home is a blessing. I get to see more of my family, feel comfortable in my environment and do something I love without the constraints of a corporate office. I do however, still have and do a lot of work, work that requires little distraction. Some women can do it, but I’m not one of them and I’m not ashamed to say that I would rather my daughter be in day care learning and making friends than be under my feet whinging for my attention 24/7.
My daughter loves her teachers and is one of the smartest 3 year olds I know so why should I deny her from something she clearly enjoys and is benefiting from? And for all the people who think I am not as much of a mother and hire someone else to raise my child, that’s not for you to judge. It works for us and that’s what matters.
6. Posting pictures of my daughter on social media
My daughter is the love of my life (in conjunction with my hubby of course) so why wouldn’t I want to share her with my friends and family? I am constantly faced with comments from people who don’t have kids saying that their news feeds are littered with pictures of babies and statuses about Freddy’s first steps, well, you know what my advice is to them? No, don’t unfriend me, and no, don’t ask me to stop my child sharing tirade. No, I suggest that you become part of the majority and have your own baby, then you won’t feel so left out!
7. Loving my daughter more than myself
I would literally die for my daughter, that’s the honest truth. Is it wrong that I put my daughter’s happiness before my own? No. Is it bad that I fix my daughter healthy dinners and we have left overs? Nope.
Sometimes I don’t get my eyebrows waxed for months (thank you tweezers!), more often than not my tootsies and heels are cracked and silently screaming at me to get a pedicure. But those things are no longer the bane of my existence, she is, and I love it. She fills my day with screaming, selfishness and tears and it’s pure joy to my unbrushed hair. Yep, her needs are far more important than my own and I have no shame in saying it.
8. Loving my daughter more than I love my partner
I don’t even have the time to love myself….. I think this one’s fair enough.
9. Finding myself wishing I wasn’t a parent
I’m a pretty happy, bubbly and energetic person. I love my life. I would be lying however if I said I didn’t sometimes daydream about the days before all of this happened. I often find myself remembering my beautiful little one-bedder with electric blue walls, only to be brought back into reality with a wet, booger-filler washer thrown in my face.
Being a parent is tough, being a wife is tough, trying to be perfect at both of those roles is even tougher. I put pressure on myself to the point that I am pretty sure I’ve almost self-combusted. I have even had that rough of a day with my sometimes feral spawn of the devil that I have said out loud that I hate my life and wish I wasn’t a parent. Sounds bad and I’m sure I’ll be judged but you know what, it makes me feel so good when I say it. And what feels better, is getting past those feelings and saying sorry to my hub and bub and remembering why I signed up to it all to begin with.