This post is republished with permission from our awesome friend Tessa at www.justtessa.com
You Think I’m a Bad Mother Because of THAT?
This week I was judged and criticised for being a fitness mum from a mother who told other people that I’m a bad mother because I did a triathlon… WTF? Really? Is that what you think of me because I take the time to exercise and to be a great role model for my kids? To show them that looking after yourself and creating your own happiness should be a priority in life. To demonstrate to them that you can achieve anything as long as you have self belief and the desire and dedication to do so.
I am a mother who gets my kids to school on time with a healthy lunch to go. I rush off to work and complete my daily tasks. I have a car packed full of extra bags, dance, cricket, boxing and my training and swimming bags, all ready and waiting to go for our after school activities. My afternoons are hectic to say the least, it is like rush hour. It begins with school pick up, sports drop offs, having enough food to feed the hangry kids to then get back to work. I finish up and then rush home to do dinners, homework, bed times and to finally shower and fall on the couch. Look, I know it sounds like hard work and it even sounds exhausting. As mothers we will always do it, regardless of how we are feeling. So my advice for those mothers out there is to:
Make sure you look after yourself.
Your fitness and mental health will play a vital role in how well you can cope with things. The healthier you are, the easier it is to keep up with your busy children when at afternoon and weekend sports. It also gives your children a great role model. Yes, you are the best role model for your children. What they see you do (exercise and fitness) and eat is ultimately what they will strive for. Lead by example with your children. Show and demonstrate what a healthy and balanced life looks like. Do not just tell them what to do, actually show them how it is done.
Do not compare your family lifestyle with other families.
Every family has a different dynamic and a different routine. What works for one family will not work well for another. Firstly, we all have different jobs, work different shifts and some families have both parents work and some are stay at home. So as you can see, what works for some families will not work for the other. Find what works for your family and your family only. Concentrate on finding a family routine and lifestyle that works for you, do not compare it to another family and under no circumstance do not judge another family’s routine. How would you know if it works or not … you’re not part of that family!
Do not judge other Mums or Women with their kids.
I get judged all the time by other mums because they think I have it all together or that I am a bad Mum because I am always busy working and training (just so you all know, I don’t!) Yes, I look after myself, my fitness and health are a high priority for me (they always have been ) and yes, I always wear active wear. It is part of my JOB! I am a personal trainer and an acrobatics art teacher (that means I teach little kids to do cartwheels, walkovers and handstands, I teach kids to do the fun side of exercise). I start work early and I finish late which leaves not much time to get dressed up and go anywhere. And yes I always have bags full of healthy food with me, I have dinner and healthy afternoon tea for my kids and myself. I do not like eating takeaway or fast foods, so I make it and take it myself.
We do not always have time to eat dinner at the table, our family routine is somewhat different to the norm, but it is not wrong.
I also get judged a lot because my kids do a great deal of afternoon sports. We are at training every afternoon and most of Saturdays. I was brought up by my parents the same way. My sisters and I were all very sporty and we were taught at an early age that what you achieve in sport and in life is directly related to effort and dedication that you put in. I am a strong believer that kids in sports learn to dedicate and delegate their time appropriately. They realise that not everything comes easy and you have to put in the hard work to get the results you want. This also gives them the tools to work hard academically in class and in life.
So in summary, Term 1 of school is the time to organise and plan your families routine and see what is going to work and what will not. Make sure that physical and mental health is a priority for all members of the family and remember finding a lifestyle balance does take work and a great deal of running around. Ultimately do what works best for you and your family. Do not take on the judgement of others (seriously jealousy is a curse). Who cares what they think, live your life the way you want!
Just me xx