10 Moments Life Kicks You in the Balls

3 min read
10 Moments Life Kicks You in the Balls

You know the feeling when life is going along so swimmingly that it can’t possibly last that way.

There’s a little voice whispering  to you from the far reaches of your mind telling you, something is about to go pear-shaped here, it has to, it’s all been too good for too long”¦

And then it does.

Shit hits the fan with such a spectacle that it rivals a New Year fireworks show hosted by Britney Spears circa 2007 The Melt Down Year.

1. Contracting syphilis

Life Kicks You in the Balls

Ok, not actual syphilis, I am exaggerating just a tad…. but we’ve had a plague like lurgy that has hung around longer and more awkwardly than an unwelcome party guest who doesn’t know when to take a fucking hint.  Get. Out.

2. Laundry day

Portrait of housewives

So, I’m infamous for forgetting that I’ve actually washed the clothes. They might sit in the machine for a few hours because I got distracted by whining kids, or worse the infinite vortex of the internet. Resistance is futile for a professional laundry procrastinator such as me.


3. No wifi

no wifi

I know it’s a first world problem but even the UN was issued a report for internet access to be a basic human right. Like clean water and oxygen.

4. Children


Children are the personification of reality check. They don’t know how to cushion the blow. “Urgh! Scratchy legs mummy.” Thanks kid, I haven’t waxed for weeks. Many weeks.


5. Farts


My two-and-half-year-old little lady tells me she loves me and reaches up her tender little arms begging for a cuddle. I scoop her up with a warm embrace, relishing in the moment before she farts on my arm and giggles, “tooty bottom!” Yeah, thanks for that kid!

6. Shit


Nothing brings you back to reality faster than a shitty nappy. Especially if it’s a number 3! Everyone poops. Fact. There’s even a children’s story book on it.


7. Mornings


4:45 am like clockwork. A creepy child stands in front of you with their breath forming condensation on your eyeballs that are now open wide with shock and fright. “Good morning mummy!” Hmmm butter wouldn’t melt, right?

8. Haemorrhoids


Enough said.


9. Tax time


In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. Thanks for that pearl of wisdom Benjamin Franklin, it makes being an adult joyous.

10. Death


The penultimate moment that life literally takes you down a peg. Recently, an acquaintance my own age with two very young children and a husband, lost a short battle with a very aggressive bowel cancer. Fuck cancer. Fuck it right in the ear.

Moments like those make you open your eyes and heart to take stock of what you have, haemorrhoids and all.

Hug your family a little tighter and know that the tough times don’t last, tough people do.

Cherie x
10 Moments Life Kicks You in the Balls

About Author

Cherie Bobbins

Cherie Bobbins creates an authentic account of motherhood from the front-lines with a central theme of empowering other mothers through Cherie's first...Read More hand experiences. Her aim for every piece of content created is to serve someone, sparking them to exclaim, "OMG, Cherie Bobbins totally gets me, it's exactly what I needed and I am not alone!" Residing in Melbourne, experiencing four seasons in one day, Cherie has had an overflowing, clean basket of laundry on rotation since January 2015. Cherie is a life hacker, professional laundry dodger and mother of two. Read Less

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