While it’s nice to say I LOVE YOU, adding humour and wit seems the more realistic way to show affection.
We know that you’re groping around at the last minute planning for Valentines Day. Or in our case, completely overlook it because it’s an over commercialised ploy to entice people to buy crap they don’t need. Or you’re just too busy cooking food, wiping ass and paying bills to notice that Feb 14th is actually V-day. I’m feeling you!
Forget your modern romantic literature class, Shakespeare and mushy movie lines! It’s 2021 and “I Love You’s” have evolved faster than the sandwich your kid left in his school bag over the Christmas holidays. These newfound ways to say the ‘L’ word are getting better and funnier because someone who wasn’t knuckle deep in a crappy nappy thought that shit up. With a splice of humour, kinkiness, reality and lots of LOVE!
With all the Valentine giggles and the tickles, here are 30 Modern Valentine Cards for your Sweetheart that we found…
1. If you’re feeling like not actually making more babies…
2. The kind of pain you’d never hesitate to tolerate.
3. Will you still love me if you smell my flaw?
4. The Love Intersection
5. You’re a priority.
6. No one else but you! and my phone of course.
7. Bizarre Kind of Love
8. One’s got to prove who’s hornier?
9. Luck without a clover
10. ‘And I’m the one who reads it late in the morning. That’s Love!
11. A unique “for better or worse” vow.
12. How smart can smart phones get?
13. Bad Aging Problems
14. Here’s the catch why she’s doing the laundry.
15. True love is…
16. LOG in first, Baby!
18. Smooth way to my bun…
19. Such a kind gesture!
20. Who doesn’t like Bacon and Eggs?
21. One just needs a good reason…
22.When he’s being nice and naughty.
23. When he thinks this is your best outfit.
24. Latin love.
25. It’s your turn to bully him with this…
26. The stinkiest yet sweetest metaphor
27. There’s always an exemption… I’ll drink to that!
28. Sometimes, you’re stuttering on Valentine’s Day…
29. Because it’s Valentines Day, forgive men for their butt fixation and excessive shortening of the words.
30. And the ladies, for going totes bananas!
So, still thinking Valentine cards are the least you can give someone? Think again. These funny and cringe-worthy cards are made to spark your night even rev your love engine. Indeed, honesty is the best policy…
Enjoy your Valentine’s Day, Peeps!