Now we all know that sex is good for the body and soul, but sometimes you just don’t want to go there.
So we give out excuses just because we’re not in the mood for it.
Here are the most common ones I’ve used to avoid sex – which ones have you used as well? Let us know in the comments!
1. Darling, I have a headache.
2. Honey we can’t have sex, your mother is in the house (this works for any relative).
3. Red Card him!
It’s that time of month again, to really make sure this really hits home you say “I am pouring blood at the moment.”
Just make sure you leave at least 2 and half weeks between this one.
4. ‘Game of Thrones’ is on!
5. I have to get up early in the morning.
6. I just don’t feel like it tonight – can’t we just cuddle.
7. I ate too much dairy today.
8. I’m having a Pap Smear tomorrow and want it unsoiled.
9. I had a Pap Smear today and I don’t need any more ‘fingers’ in that pie… or I’m sore from the Pap Smear.
10. I just pooped, I don’t feel like having sex now.
11. I’m still a bit tender from last night.
12. I ate too much food.
13. I have a yeast infection.
14. I have a urinary tract infection.
15. My breath is bad. I think I ate too much garlic/onion.
16. I’m too drunk.
17. But it’s not Saturday or Wednesday?
18. I just changed the sheets.
19. I have a funny tummy at the moment.
20. “I’m too scared I’ll fart” – look embarrassed, he’ll feel bad for you.
21. “We should have come to bed half an hour earlier if you wanted to do this tonight.”
roll over, he can’t argue.
22. “I’m due for a wax tomorrow, and she can tell.”
23. My uterus is trying to eat me. (Roll around on the floor for extra emphasis.)
24. The dog’s watching, I can’t perform with an audience *sashay out of the room*
25. I pulled a muscle in my leg, the pain is killing me. This can actually give you a few days off.
26. I am too tired. Tomorrow, hopefully I should be ok.
27. I haven’t had a shower.
This one comes with a risk, usually a “oh good lets shower together” in which case refer back to number 3.
28. I am feeling too fat, must be number 3 about to start.
29. I am PMS-ing and if you touch me I WILL kill you.
30. I think I pulled a vaginal muscle last night with you.
31. I have just had my hair done and don’t want it messed up.
32. The bed squeaks too much.
33. The kids might hear us, I think they are still awake
35. I need to landscape down there, it is a jungle.
…….and we even made an “excuses” video! hahahahaha! Check it out!!
Have a sex-related question? Ask Stay at Home Mum!
- Frugal Living
- Frugal Living