5 Things To Do When You’re Not Invited

I recently found myself in a state of non-invitation.

Now I’m not talking about an invitation for a trip to the movies with random friends or an off-chance dash to the mall. I’m talking about an event that warrants a formal, thought-out, well-planned invitation that goes to family and friends, marking a very special occasion in someone’s life their wedding.

Some may say that perhaps the invitations haven’t gone out yet, that maybe it’s a small wedding.

I say bullshit.

And I can say bullshit as a few weeks ago, my reliable Facebook timeline shared with me their number of guests as well as a photo showcasing the lovely (yet awfully common) wedding invitations brandishing the cheesy caption ,”And all of them are out in the mail”¦yaaaaayyyy!” At the time, my excitement built a little, anticipation rising for receivership of the invitation of the year.

Well, three weeks after that photo was posted, still no invitation. I think it’s fair to say that it hasn’t been lost in the mail.

I went through quite a few emotions when realisation hit that I hadn’t been forgotten; I’d simply not been invited. I went over and over in my head as to why this couple hadn’t invited me to their wedding. Was it because I was unable to make the trip to their engagement? Was it because they didn’t enjoy my wedding? Or was it because — gulp — they no longer liked me?

The thought process following each of those thoughts went like this “I already had plans well in advance for the engagement weekend, that’s just selfish,” followed by “Our wedding was perfect for us, at least we invited you,” ending in, “What have I done to make you not invite me and not like me?”

Needless to say, crying ensued and a feeling of absolute loss and rejection.

As it’s the season of weddings (who cares anyway!), Christmas parties and New Year celebrations, I thought I would share with you a few suggestions on how you could deal with not being invited to that special occasion.

Obviously, I chose the very last suggestion”¦

1. Accept the hurt

They say that accepting why you are feeling hurt is the first step to moving forward. They, being people who have always been invited of course.

It is actually true however that recognising the reason as to why you feel a certain way is a step in the right direction and the pain won’t be as bad with the realisation as it is when you refuse to own your feelings.

2. Ask the question

It’s a ballsy move but if you feel strongly about your non-invite, ask them why they didn’t invite you. It could be something simple as they are only inviting family or it may surface an issue that they have with you that you weren’t aware of. Perfect example as to why communication is key in all relationships.

3. F*#k off Facebook

If it weren’t for this modern day obsession with sharing every single little detail of our lives, the pain of not being invited would be nowhere near as brutal. The lead up posts, the sneaky photos — it’s the Devil’s playground! Switch off the social media or perhaps cut back on checking every single status update. The party pain won’t be so bad when you don’t know absolutely everything about it.

4. Organise something fun instead

Make plans with the people who do love and invite you and you will forget all about what’s-her-name. Whether you take a trip to the zoo or simply grab some guys and gals and murder the dance floor, having fun and remembering the people who love and appreciate your presence will boost your mood.

Much better than sitting around moping, eating ice cream and whinging.

5. Get bitter and forget them!

If you just can’t understand as to why you wouldn’t have been invited and you’re not willing or too scared to ask them why, then stew on it for a while and forget them. Life is too short to sit there worrying about the hows and whys, surround yourself with the people you love and get on with it!

What do you do when you’re not invited?