Have you ever had a dream that you were doing the deed with someone other than your significant other?
And worst still, it was someone random you know in real life you’re not even remotely attracted to?
Maybe it was so vivid that the next time you saw that person — some guy in your workplace from accounts, or your friend’s husband, or the guy who makes your coffee at the local cafe — that it was totally awkward — for you, at least, because of course they have no idea that you were doing it with them in your dreams.
What does it mean exactly?
Does it mean that you are secretly lusting after this person and you’re in denial about it?
Well it could mean that… but probably it doesn’t.
Experts believe that sexual dreams about people we’re not really attracted to indicate there is a closeness with that person that isn’t necessarily emotional. If you’re dreaming about bonking someone from work it might just mean that you see them all the freaking time and they’ve managed to infiltrate your dream world. So that’s cold comfort, even if you can never look them in the eye again.
People you work with aren’t the only participants in your sex dreams, of course. Here are some of the more common sex dreams that people have:
1. Sex with a mystery lover
According to Laurie Quinn Loewenberg, author of Dream On It, Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life, this most common type of sex dream about a mystery man isn’t all about your as-yet-unmet soul mate. His presence in your dreams indicates you are ready to enlist stereotypically masculine traits into your waking life.
2. Sex with your boss
According to The Love, Sex and Relationship Dream Dictionary by Kelly Sullivan Walden, “A boss typically represents authority, and this dream is giving you a sense of your own empowerment,” Walden says. It means you’re looking to “be the boss” in your own life.
3. Sex with an ex
Walden says that “An ex represents an aspect of yourself that you may have been in touch with when you were with that person, that maybe you don’t seem to have right now,”
4. Sex with a platonic friend or colleague
Friends and colleagues often symbolise talents you appreciate and hope to have yourself.
5. Sex with a celebrity
According to Kelly Sullvan Walden, sex with a celebrity is a sign that YOU are ready to be in the spotlight in some way in your life, and has nothing to do with the celebrity you’re dreaming of at all.
6. Gay sex if you are straight
According to Bustle, dreaming about getting intimate with a member of the same sex if you are heterosexual shows a union with different aspects of yourself such as compassion and self-acceptance. However, if you’re uncomfortable with homosexuality in your dream, it might mean you have fears and insecurities regarding your relations with the opposite sex.
7. Sex with an animal
If you dream about having sex with an animal, it’s not a sign you’re depraved and secretly into bestiality. Kelly Sullivan Walden says it might mean you need to unplug from modern life a bit and get back to nature.
“The modern man and woman has gotten out of touch with [his or her] animal instincts because of technology,” she says.
8. A steamy affair
According to Laurie Quinn Loewenberg, if you’re dreaming of a passionate affair with someone who isn’t your other half, there’s something that’s going on in your real life taking your attention from your partner. The guilt you’re feeling in the dream and again when you wake up indicates that you know, deep down, whatever it is you’re doing doesn’t sit well with your partner.
Have you had sex dreams with people other than your significant other?