Crushes How Far Is Too Far

Ever looked twice at the TV screen to get another look at that spunky actor or TV presenter? Have you ever lingered a little longer looking (OK, gawking) at someone who catches your eye in a café or on a train?

All people in committed relationships observe attractive people around them. What varies is the personal response to that stimulus. This will depend on a person’s character, personality traits, and satisfaction in their current relationship.

Having a Crush Is Natural

Having crushes on people is a natural, normal part of life. You find something nice, interesting or similar about them and you admire or develop a crush on them for these qualities. Just think about a number of times you have fallen in love with a dress or fantasised about a hot celebrity.

*Sigh* “¦sorry, just started thinking about Joaquin Phoenix and got a bit distracted for a minute.

But not everyone thinks that crushes are natural, some folks put crushes in the same cheating bucket as watching porn. And while the majority of crushes or porn views would never even lead to you even thinking about cheating on your partner, the question is at what point does it begin to push the boundaries?

Different Standards for Different People

People have different standards. Many feel that as long as you don’t act on your desires, you’re not cheating. Others feel that if their spouse has a crush on someone else or has sexual desires for someone other than them, then there is trouble in paradise.

It really depends on your relationship and the feelings of those in it. Is the crush subtracting any feelings, intimacies or benefits that you would give to your partner? Is the crush going to lure you to cross the line into cheating? Is this crush going to cause issues with your partner? What construes cheating in your relationship?

Some consider watching porn or having a crush on your mind cheating, others believe it’s restricted to physical contact only. At the end of the day, a crush is a crush. But when it even goes a little way toward beginning to lie to your partner, or investing more emotions or attention in any way to the crush, this is when cheating has begun.

Just because you have a crush it doesn’t mean you’ll act on it. Many people change their celebrity crush with their underpants each day, and let’s face it; it’s highly unlikely Joaquin is ever going to be down at the local beach making eyes at me in my maternity bikini whilst his heart skips a beat. So it’s fair to say most crushes are innocent, it requires action to be taken on impulses for it to constitute cheating.

You Can’t Help How You Think, Only How You Act

If you’re in a relationship and attracted to someone else, then that might mean that something is missing in your relationship. It certainly does happen that people get crushes on someone but that doesn’t mean that they don’t love their partner. You just need to make sure that you talk it out and deal with it.  Remember we all get crushes at some point in time, it is just that you don’t usually act on them.