There are so many opportunities to spy on your partner, and boy, sometimes it is so tempting to just take a little peep. But snooping has no place in any relationship; you shouldn’t spy on your partner and they should never spy on you.
Not even just a little bit? I hear you ask. Flat out – no. Yes sometimes things get weird, and your partner may be acting strange, you’ve been fighting every second minute and certain things are driving you crazy. Tempting as it is snooping is not the answer.
Before temptation overwhelms you, consider these 5 compelling reasons not to spy on your partner.
Everyone deserves privacy
Innocent or guilty, we all deserve privacy. How would you feel if you were being snooped on? Even if something fishy is going on, it could be innocent. It could even be an amazing surprise for you! Or it could be your partner is catching up with an old friend or partner, and keeping it from you, rightly or wrongly, so you don’t feel jealous, get upset, or end up with the wrong idea. There may not be anything fishy, and even if there is, you deserve to be told about it rather than sniffing it out.
Toodle Pip to trust in the relationship
What is a relationship without trust? Not much of a relationship. If you don’t feel like you can trust your partner, why are you in a relationship together? One of the most important reasons you should never spy on your partner is you are breaking the trust with the decision to snoop. What if there is nothing there? What if you get caught? It’s not easy coming back to normal after that business.
It reflects on how trustworthy you are as well. Even if your snooping does find something, you are no better than your partner, because now you’re keeping secrets too. And what if it’s nothing? You may well have broken it yourself by snooping.
Looking for trouble in all the wrong places
What happens when you go looking for trouble? You find it even if it’s not really there. If you go snooping through messages, posts or tweets, you’ll find something. Then you’ll believe your suspicions were justified. Then you’ll likely tell your mum and girlfriends, making mountains out of molehills and connecting dots that possibly don’t exist. Then you’ll confront your partner and have no leg to stand on trying to explain your actions whilst demanding an explanation.
Once you start you can’t stop
So you’ve decided to snoop. You trawl through hidden posts, text messages and social media and find”¦.nothing. Now what? Or you found something to make you a bit iffy but still no concrete proof? What then? Once you’ve started snooping, it’s easy to keep doing it. Next thing you know you’re just looking for reasons to snoop, and then looking for reasons to justify your snooping which is a slippery slope, next thing you know you’re making up excuses and fibs about what you’re doing.
Something to talk about
Talking to you partner about how you feel, including any fears or suspicions trumps snooping any day. And if you feel like you can’t talk to them about, what’s the point of being in a relationship with them? We are all better than that, and deserve better than that, and deserve better than that.
No healthy relationship can thrive without trust. We all deserve privacy and respect, so if you do suspect something – bring up your fears, sit down and talk about them and work it out together. Have you ever spied on your partner or has a partner ever spied on you?