Falling out with a good friend can feel as emotional as a breakup and when a friendship turns sour, it can be difficult to renew that bond again.
Friends can quickly turn to enemies for a number of reasons you might have been getting on each other’s nerves for a while and something has finally given. Maybe you have had a big blow-up or maybe it’s something that you or your friend haven’t done for each other that has caused the relationship to break down.
Repairing your friendship
If your relationship with a friend has broken down then make the effort to win them back before it is too late. Be the first one to swallow your pride by offering them an olive branch and making peace. They might not want to make amends straight away so give them some time and distance before trying again. If there seems no hope in becoming friends once again then be the better person by keeping it amicable.
What to do when it turns nasty
If things turn nasty and your friend becomes an enemy then avoid getting bitchy. When catty exchanges occur, it can cause unnecessary pain for both of you. Set an example to your kids by steering clear of verbal fights with your friend. Be the bigger person by holding back and keeping quiet.
Separating can be a difficult process, especially if you share the same friends. It will be a difficult time for you and your mutual friends, especially in the early days when everyone is getting used to the change. Your breakup will probably be a talking point for your friends in common, so ignoring the issue may be difficult for you. Tell your friends how you are feeling but don’t go about bad-mouthing the enemy. Never put your mutual friends in the middle and respect that they will want to spend time with your old friend.
Coping with the pain
Losing a friendship, especially a close one, can take a long while to get over. Keep yourself busy and spend some more time with your other friends. If you live in the same area and go to the same places then there will undoubtedly be times when you will bump into each other. Be mature by being polite and acknowledging your former friend. Seek support from friends and family if you need it and if you are struggling emotionally then talk to someone who will listen and help.
What about the kids?
If you and your enemy’s kids are friends then find a way for them to spend time together and keep it as normal as possible for them. If they are at school together then they will hopefully continue to play and hang out as usual. If they are younger or don’t attend the same school then find ways for them to see each other with the help of mutual friends or your partner. Never bitch or complain about your enemy in front of your kids as they are likely to repeat it to their friends.
Except that the friendship is over and remember the good times that you had together. By finding closure on the relationship will help to ease the pain of losing your friend. Try to move on from the loss of the friendship by creating new ones. Finding new friends is not always easy but having kids can help in finding a new set.