When in a relationship, certain behaviours are expected and others are strongly discouraged.
There is a certain amount of personal change that occurs when we intertwine our life with another person’s.
For instance, it is expected that we consider our partner when making plans rather then just heading out for the evening. We may have to forgo a new pair of shoes in favour of paying the phone bill. We probably should not go out partying every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. But when it goes beyond our partner expecting our consideration and mutual respect, we start to step into dangerous territory.
Violence against another human is an act of denying the other person’s human right. Such physical and sexual violence and the threat of such violence””are criminal offences.
Perpetrators of abuse often use this to their advantage.
According to the Domestic Violence Resource Centre, perpetrators aim to gain power and control over the other person through using Emotional Abuse, Verbal Abuse and Psychological Abuse.
Emotional Abuse includes but is not limited to discounting reality and experiences, trivialising experiences or emotions, or being undermining and threatening.
Verbal Abuse often degrades, insults, humiliates, ridicules or in someway lessens the dignity of the other person.
Psychological Abuse includes attacking the person by ignoring them, humiliating them and/or belittling them, using behaviours and/or comments in order to undermine the other persons’ sense of self, sulking, threatening to withhold money or objects such as the phone or the car, and isolation by controlling contact with the outside world and support systems.In order for relationships to function properly, there need to be an equal amount of give and take. Mutual respect is a must. There will be times when we have to give up something for the sake of our partner and there will be times when our partner has to give up something for us. This is normal.
What is not normal is for one partner to feel threatened, too frightened to argue back, and too frightened to disagree or express their opinion. If you are in one of these relationships, please seek support. There are amazing services that you can access. You are not alone and there are people that are able an willing to help.
How would you respond to a controlling partner?
Are you experiencing sexual assault or domestic and family violence? Seeking to support someone who is? We can help.
1800RESPECT 1800 737 732
Lifeline 13 11 14
000 in an emergency
and more important hotlines and websites here.