Not all happily ever after’s end up that way. In fact, according to recent statistics the divorce rate for couples is around 50 percent. What this means is that one in every two marriages will end in divorce. And this number doesn’t account for non-married relationships. If your relationship with your partner has come to an end, whether it ended amicably or through a nasty divorce, this can be a hard thing to recover from, financially, physically and emotionally. It takes time and courage to walk away from a relationship and to start again on your own.
Nothing quite says it’s over like being served with divorce papers. However, there are other ways to help you move forward and rid yourself of the bad energy that can come from a break up. Below are some tips to help you put an end to this chapter of your life and open a new page in the most positive way possible:
Removing a loved one from your life is a lot harder when you have pictures of you together all over the house. So start by taking down these photos. You don’t have to burn them in a metaphorical fire but you shouldn’t have to have them on display either. You may choose to keep these pictures and other memorabilia in a scrapbook or you may wish to discard them. The relationship, even if it has ended, is still an important part of your life and you may not wish to completely forget about the good times. Buy some new art and frame new photos that you love. Focus on positive images and bright colours to lift your spirits. Choose photos of family and friends and other things that will make you smile.
When a relationship ends you most likely still have a lot to say. And while you may get your chance to discuss the problems with your ex in counselling or through divorce mediation, there are often so many other things you want to say that may be inappropriate or just too hurtful. So spend some time in front of the keyboard jotting down notes and feelings. Write down good and bad memories, write stories or poems or even write a letter to them (that you never post). This can help you recover emotionally and reflect on what has happened. Spending a few hours typing your heart out can be very therapeutic.
Make a list of different goals over different periods of time to work towards on your own. They can be little goals, such as buying a pair of shoes, or larger ones, such as going on a holiday alone. Having these little goals to focus on can help get you in a better frame of mind.
Learn Something New
When you become reliant on someone for so long, it can be hard to go back to being completely independent. Even little things, like fuelling the car with gas or paying the bills, can seem extra hard if this was always something that your partner took care of. So reclaim your independence and re-use these skills. Even better take a course or ask some help to learn additional skills that were typically left to your partner.
Give Yourself Time
Shutting the door on an old relationship often doesn’t completely happen until a new door has been opened. However, don’t rush into a new relationship too soon as it can leave you feeling the sting twice as hard in the long run. Instead, open the door on a new relationship with yourself. Get to know yourself again. After all, you are your own best date!