Every couple goes through rough patches, but how do you know if this is just a rough patch, or if your relationship is falling apart?
We have 20 signs to look out for that may spell the end of a relationship. On the other hand, they may be early warning signs so you can work on your relationship and make it stronger, before it falls apart.
Breaking up is never easy, but never look at the end of a relationship as a failure, just a new chapter in life.
It’s essential to be honest with yourself and address the problems head-on. Ignoring the problem will only make things worse in the long run.
Have you seen any of these signs in your relationship? What did you do about it? If you’re seeing any of these signs in your relationship, don’t wait – seek out help from a professional or trusted friend.
1. Your Partner Has Stopped Making an Effort
One such sign is when your partner stops making an effort. This can manifest in different ways, such as neglecting to put any effort into planning date nights or always cancelling plans at the last minute.
It can also mean that they stop taking care of their appearance or making any attempt to show affection. If you notice that your partner has suddenly stopped trying, it’s essential to talk about what’s going on. Otherwise, the relationship is likely to continue spiralling downward.
2. They Put Their Friends and Work Colleagues First
One of the signs your relationship is falling apart is if they start to put their friends and work colleagues first. If you used to be their confidant and now you feel like you’re last on their list, it’s a sign that something has changed.
They may be more focused on their career or social life, and you’re no longer a priority. If you’ve talked to them about it and they’re unwilling to change, it might be time to move on. Relationships are all about compromise, and if they’re not willing to meet you halfway, it’s not worth your time.
3. They Start Picking Fights over Stupid Things
No relationship is perfect, and it’s normal for couples to have an occasional disagreement. However, suppose you find that you and your partner are constantly bickering over petty things. In that case, it could signify that your relationship is in trouble.
Arguments are a normal part of any relationship. If you’re constantly raising your voice or saying hurtful things to each other, that ain’t good. Still, if you find yourself always fighting with your partner, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship. Suppose you can’t seem to resolve your disagreements without resorting to fights or arguments. In that case, it’s time to seek out professional help.
4. Your Partner Doesn’t Ask Where You Are Going
In a healthy relationship, both partners are interested in each other’s lives and want to know what’s happening. But if your partner is suddenly happy to leave you alone for hours with no concern for what you’re doing, it’s a red flag. If your partner no longer asks where you’re going or what you’re doing, it’s a sign that they no longer care about your whereabouts.
It could be a sign that they’re losing interest in the relationship or doing something else behind your back. If you notice this behaviour change, it’s essential to talk to your partner. Otherwise, the distance between you will only continue to grow.
5. They Stop Talking About Future Plans
One of the most common signs your relationship is falling apart is when plans are no longer discussed. This can be a career move, starting a family, or even future weekend plans. This lack of future planning can be a symptom of other problems, such as a lack of communication or feeling disconnected from your partner.
If you’re concerned that your relationship may be heading for trouble, take some time to talk about your plans with your partner. You may be on different paths and need to realign your goals. But suppose future planning is no longer part of your relationship. In that case, it’s worth considering whether the relationship is right for you.
6. Loss of Interest in Sex
It’s normal for the frequency of sex to ebb and flow throughout a relationship. But suppose you’re noticing a significant loss of interest in sex. In that case, it could be some signs your relationship is falling apart. A loss of sexual desire can be caused by many factors, including fatigue, stress, health problems, and medications.
If you or your partner have a low libido, it can be challenging to feel intimate with each other. In some cases, one partner may cheat to satisfy their needs. If you’re concerned about the state of your relationship, talk to somebody who can help. A loss of interest in sex is often an indicator of something else going wrong. Recognizing the problem is the first step toward fixing it.
7. They Spend More Time With Friends
While everyone needs to have their friends and interests, if your partner is consistently choosing to spend time with friends rather than with you, it’s a sign that they may be losing interest in the relationship.
Spending more time apart can also lead to other problems, such as communication breakdowns and feeling like you’re not a priority in your partner’s life. If you find that your partner is never available when you need them, it might be time to move on.
8. They Become Distant and Cold
If you notice that your partner has become distant and cold, it may be a sign that things are not going well. Suppose they’re no longer interested in spending time with you or showing you affection. In that case, it may signify that they’re losing interest in the relationship.
Suppose they’ve started cheating on you or showing interest in somebody else. In that case, it’s a sign that your relationship is heading for trouble.
9. They Refuse to Seek Relationship Counselling
There can be many reasons why your partner might refuse to seek counselling in your relationship. They may no longer be interested in the relationship and see counselling as a waste of time. They may also be interested in somebody else and hope to break off the relationship.
However, counselling can often benefit both parties, even if one person is reluctant to participate. It can allow both partners to talk openly about their feelings and grievances. It can help improve communication and resolve conflict.
10. Most Incidental Touching Stops
Physical touch is a meaningful way to express affection and create intimacy in any relationship. However, there are times when one partner may stop touching the other. There are several possible reasons for this. It could be that they feel overwhelmed or stressed, and they need some space.
In some cases, a partner may stop touching you because they no longer find you attractive. Or, they may be dealing with their issues with body image or self-esteem. Whatever the reason, it can be hurtful and confusing.
11. They Start Spending More Time at Work
One of the most common complaints in relationships is that one partner spends more time at work than the other. If you find yourself in this situation, you may be wondering why your partner is always so busy. There are a few possible explanations.
Perhaps they are more dedicated to their career than you are. Or, they may be dating a co-worker and using work as an excuse to spend more time with their new flame. Another possibility is that they are cheating on you and using work to cover their infidelity. Finally, it is also possible that your partner isn’t interested in you anymore and is using work as an excuse to avoid spending time with you.
12. They Are Secretive About Their Phone
Suppose your partner hides their phone or is secretive about it in your relationship. In that case, there could be a few different reasons. Maybe they’re getting secret texts from someone else, or they could be flirting with a new woman.
Either way, it’s not a great sign. If your partner is constantly hiding their phone, they’re trying to keep something from you. And that’s not the basis for a healthy, trusting relationship.
13. They Argue With You In Front of Friends or Family
There are a few reasons why your partner might argue with you before friends or family. They could be tired of you and looking for an excuse to break up. Or, they could feel like there’s no future for the relationship and that arguing is the only way to get your attention.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that arguing in front of others is not a constructive way to communicate. Suppose your partner regularly contends with you in public. In that case, it might be time to have a serious conversation about your relationship.
14. They Have Started Talking to an Ex-Partner
A few reasons why your partner might start talking to an ex. Maybe they’re feeling neglected and are looking for some attention. Or perhaps they miss the companionship and intimacy they used to share with their ex. It’s also possible that they’re curious about what their ex is up to and whether they’re still single.
If they’re trying to catch up on old times, there’s no cause for alarm. However, if they’re flirting or sharing secrets, they’re not fully committed to the relationship.
15. Your Individual Interests Have Changed
Individual interests inevitably change as we grow as a person. While it’s not necessarily bad, it can be tricky when those interests no longer align with our partners.
It’s natural for people to grow and change, which sometimes means growing apart from each other. If anything, having different interests can make us better partners as we can learn new things from each other.
Of course, there will also be times when our interests are no longer aligned, and that’s okay.
16. Your Calls To Your Partner Start Going to Voicemail
There’s a reason for that. When people are first dating, they answer their partner’s call no matter what they’re doing. But as the relationship progresses, they no longer feel the same urgency to answer the phone.
If your partner is no longer answering your calls or letting them go to voicemail, it’s not because they don’t want to talk to you. Or is it talking to somebody else? Maybe they just aren’t prioritising you anymore.
17. Your Partner Starts Criticizing Your Actions
If you feel like your partner is constantly criticizing you, it can be tough to figure out what’s going on. Maybe you’re wondering if they’re always right and you’re wrong, or if they’re trying to find fault with you so they can end the relationship. It’s called projection.
However, the reason why your partner might start criticizing you is more complicated than that. Criticizing you is a way of making them feel better by putting you down. In other cases, your partner may be using criticism to try to control you. By making you feel like you’re always doing something wrong, they can make you feel helpless and dependent on them.
18. You Stop Fighting (Because You Have Given Up)
If you find yourself in a situation where you no longer want to fight for your partner, it may be time to call it quits. After all, why waste your energy on someone who doesn’t care about you?
And if they don’t care about you, they won’t miss you when you’re gone. Moving on may be hard at first, but it’s often the best decision in the long run. So if you’re tired of fighting a losing battle, it may be time to wave the white flag and concede defeat. Splitsville, here you come!
19. You Feel Drained by Spending Time with Your Partner
If you’re in a relationship but feel tired, bored, or unenthused about spending time with your partner, it’s normal to wonder if the spark has gone out. You may be simply in a rut and need to mix things up a bit.
Maybe you haven’t been on a date night, or you’ve fallen into the same old routine. Or, it could be that you’re no longer as compatible as you once were. It’s worth considering whether your relationship is still meeting your needs and if there’s anything you can do to improve things. If not, it might be time to move on.
20. You Both Know There is an Issue, But Don’t Know What that Issue Is
Suppose you find yourself in a relationship where you and your partner both know that there is an issue. Still, neither of you can quite pinpoint what that issue is. It may be some signs your relationship is falling apart.
This can be especially true if the feeling of love and affection you once had for your partner has begun to fade away. When there is no longer a spark between you, it can take a toll on the relationship and eventually lead to a breakup.
It can be tough to face that your relationship might be on the rocks, but it’s essential to be honest with yourself and address the problems head-on. Ignoring the problem will only make things worse in the long run. Have you seen any of these signs in your relationship? What did you do about it? If you’re seeing any of these signs in your relationship, don’t wait – seek out help from a professional or trusted friend.
For Brisbane Divorce Lawyers that will help you thrive beyond Divorce, check out Divorce Hub.
Where to Seek Relationship Counselling:
- Online Therapy
- Better Help