I’m too tired for sex…. It is a mantra known by women of all times. We are tired!
But a google search on this topic for research purposes has led to me to a whole other community of frazzled wives and mothers who can think of nothing worse than getting some rumpy pumpy with hubby once their head has hit the pillow!
With work days extending into nights, and more and more people bringing their work home with them, the demands of running a household and caring for children and general essential life activities, over 50% of couples confess to not having sex because they are simply too tired at the end of the day.
Even those still getting some jiggy-jig confess that it often lacks intimacy and is really just ‘tired sex’, ticking another box, crossing another thing off the “To Do” list.
Funnily enough, being too tired for sex is not usually a reflection of a couple’s feelings towards each other or a desire to be intimate with anyone else, it is simply that either person in the relationship (statistically, the woman) is just literally too physically tired to be exerting any energy in the act of lovemaking. But with experts saying that a good sex life is contributing more and more to keeping our stress levels low and improving health and overall quality of life (and besides, it can be quite enjoyable!), adopting some of these changes may be on the cards for many!
1. Is There Something Wrong in Your Relationship?
If you’ve got issues outside of the bedroom, you’re not going to feel like doing anything IN the bedroom. For most couples, having sex when one of you is angry, depressed or resentful is either entirely unpleasant or just not going to happen. Communication is not just essential to a happy relationship, but a healthy sex life.
If there is a severe lack of sex, it’s time to look at the reason why you aren’t connecting as a couple.
What to Do About it:
Do a fun activity together that involves laughing, partnership and cooperation. Ideas such as going to an Escape Room or playing trivia against another team.
2. Ditch the Screens (Especially in the Bedroom!)
Our lives have become all about flopping onto the couch at the end of a long day, and staying there, glued to a TV, phone or device screen until our eyes droop and we go to bed, often separately. Or even worse, there’s a TV in your bedroom, scaring away an intimacy with arguments about volume control and channel selection. Apparently, it’s best to hit record and have snuggle instead!
Remember the bedroom is for sleeping and sex only!
3. Is your lifestyle Sapping your energy?
Are you an exercise junkie? Group/team sports mad? Do you work a stressful job? Have kids?
Life is hectic and it is tiring, but some people are just more physically active than others, resulting in not only physical fatigue but mental fatigue also. Wind down at least an hour before your desired bedtime, leaving a little bit left in the tank for some bedroom fun!
4. Genuinely Not Interested in Sex? Communicate.
Everyone will suffer a loss of libido at one time or another due to a number of lifestyle factors. It’s important to talk about this with your partner, so they don’t feel constantly rejected when you just ‘don’t feel like it’. Try some natural therapies or visit your GP if you think your loss of libido is prolonged or unexplained.
5. Spice It Up!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with adding a little spice to your boudoir! Get up the guts to ask your partner what their secret fantasy is and surprise them! The preparation is exciting and will definitely get you in the mood!
More Reading: 13 Reasons Why Women Don’t WANT to Have Sex
6. Could there be Other Problems
There could be an assortment of reasons why you are too tired for sex, including taking too much on during the day, stress, illness, broken sleep and insomnia. Addressing these issues will ensure you get a good night’s sleep and are up and raring to go when the mood finally takes you!
Are you often too tired for sex?