It’s hard to explain to someone who isn’t a parent about what we do all day, whether you’re a working mum or a stay at home mum.
We all work hard. Every parent, Mum or Dad, works their ring-hole off just to get through a day with little people that demand their attention, wreck the house and demand to be fed every few hours.
This letter is a few years old now, but it still makes me so angry every time I read it. So I thought it was worth sharing what the rare male person actually THINKS we do all day.
This is an email received from Steve back in 2011.
“Dear Stay at Home Mum,
I bust my ass 5 days a week so the other half can stay home and give our kids a decent start. My issue is the minute I get to the door I am no sooner out of my boots than she is throwing the kids at me. There’s no ‘hello, how was your day’ it’s just ‘I need time out’. The kids are 1 and 5. She has 1 to look after all day as my son is at school for most of the day. She drops him off and the rest of the day is hers.
All I want is to walk in, have a cold beer, watch the news, have tea and once I unwind, I’ll put the kids to bed and read them a story. It’s a two way street. I earn the money, she should look after the kids and house and life should be easy. I’ve got a job and so has she, why should I have to do her job too when I get home? I’d like to hear your members’ thoughts!”
I, too, would like to hear our members’ thoughts. You are truly a brave man, Steve, but this is my answer to you.
I wonder what you thought having children was going to be like. It’s not the 1950’s anymore. Your dear wife is busting her arse off all day, just like you are. The thing is, she doesn’t get a lunch break, a tea break or any break.
Children are frustrating, and need constant attention, no matter how cute they are.
I would suggest that perhaps you should put yourself in her shoes for the day. Maybe let your wife have the day off, and take care of the children to see for yourself. I can’t believe that you would intentionally be an arse and not recognise the significant work every mother does. And as the father, you should be hands-on and responsible for helping to raise your children also. Otherwise, there will be resentment…and long term resentment will lead to you becoming a single father!
Get in there and help her!
If I saw my husband sitting down having a beer whilst I’m juggling dirty nappies, trying to get a load of washing on and cook dinner, I’d seriously hit him over the head with a frypan. She only has two hands. Surely you could enjoy your beer whilst supervising the kids in the bath, or enjoy your beer whilst cooking her some dinner.
Your time out should be her time out, too – after the kids have gone to bed. Plus if you help out more, I’m sure your more likely to get laid.
C’mon Steve, don’t be one of THOSE men. Step up! A real man is a good father and husband and provider.