Do you have a little on the side? A little something, something? I’m talking about money.
I’m assuming that as FIFO wives and stay-at-home mums, most of us manage the bills and finances but if you don’t, do you know where your money is going and I mean every cent? And do you have a little on the side for yourself? A little money just in case for whatever reason you need it.
Whilst I have never been burnt by an STD and by that I mean “sexually transmitted debt”, it was the one lesson I have always heeded after my best friend at 21 was left with a $30,000 credit card debt by her beloved could-do-no-wrong boyfriend (now ex).
She, first of all, had no idea of the debt, but second of all, never even considered putting money aside for herself. Most women don’t. All their money went to a joint account. She had no account of her own. So when he left, he left her with a broken heart, a baby, no money and $30,000 of credit card debt, all earning 16% interest debt all at 21 years of age. It took her six years to pay it off. She has no home of her own and her credit rating will never be the same.
So, it amazes me the number of women who say, ‘oh he would never do that to me.’ Really? Really? Can you be that sure? It’s happened again to my mother-in-law, notice I say again. My sister in-law has just opened an account after she asked her husband about their finances and her husband couldn’t explain where all their money was going or gone. Thousands of dollars has just gone. Now I love my husband. Trust my husband but even I have an account. It’s online, doesn’t have a fortune in it, but it’s there as a safety net. It’s enough to get me and my boys back to my parents.
This STD happens all the time and I don’t understand how women can be so blind, well actually I can. We love our partners. We trust them (as we should). Or perhaps rather, it’s a case of ‘it will never happen to me’, but seriously it could. Perhaps, I’m a little black and white, but it’s your life and your children’s life. You should know exactly where your money is. No matter who earns it. If you’re a stay-at-home parent, it’s still your money. Raising your children is your job, your side of the partnership.
Forgive the analogy, but a marriage, a relationship is a business agreement based on love and trust. A partner of any good business partnership wouldn’t just leave all the details of the finances to one member of the partnership. That’s just not good business sense. It goes the same for a marriage, there should be no secrets, it should be an open book.
If there is a problem with you having an account, well encourage him to open one of his own but really, should there be a problem? It’s not like you are bank loading to run away to Paris, leaving him with three kids, four dogs, one cat and five chickens to look after and no that’s not something I have thought much about.
So stick your nose in, find out when payments are due, where the money goes. Every single cent. Open an account of your own. Don’t make it a secret unless you have to but then if you do, what the hell are you doing there in the first place.
And when I talk about putting money aside, I’m not talking hundreds of dollars, I’m talking ten dollars here, twenty dollars there. It all adds up. Whatever you feel comfortable with, but do it. Open an account and get to know your finances. Please.