10 Awesomely Inappropriate Kris Kringle Gift Ideas (18+)

Stuck for Secret Santa ideas?

We got MORE inappropriate ones right here! Here ya go!

If you’re tired of the same old Kris Kringle and Secret Santa box of chocolates or CD, why not crank up a decent wet-your-pants-laughing gift or two this office party or family gathering? And don’t be put off by being around relatives because your nanna probably has a heaps dirtier mind than you think!

1. A GIGANTIC Vibrator

The best ever reactions come from opening a veiny, big-headed, long-shafted pleasure device right in front of in-laws, friends or co-workers”¦serious comedy gold right there. Be a sport and include batteries because seriously, no one likes it when they can’t use their new toy until they get to the shops!

Our Pick:

The Chocolate Jelly Dream!

Grab it from Adult Toy Megastore for $29.95

The Chocolate Dream Vibrator from Adult Toy Megastore

2. A Chocolate Dick in a Box

Nothing says ‘Eat a Dick’ like a chocolate dick in a box!

Grab it from Yellow Octopus for $29.99

Chocolate Dick in a Box by Yellow Octopus for $29.99

3. A She Wee

There are some absolutely fucked up versions of this ladies camping toilet device (great idea) that slides between your legs so you can take a wiz upright without having to kanga squat. Some places even sell them with rubber penis-like extensions for those gals who might like a more authentic experience! Weird”¦

10 Awesomely Inappropriate Kris Kringle Gift Ideas | Stay At Home Mum — via dhgate.com

4. Hair Care Products

Not inappropriate you say? Sure it is if you give it to a bald man. Team it up with some furniture polish spray and a buffing cloth and you’ll not be admitting to this secret santa pressie anytime soon.

5. Poo Pourrie Toilet Spray

Spray to make your poo not stink.

Grab it from Yellow Octopus for $19.99

6. Offensive Coffee Mugs

These can totally be inappropriate if you look in the right places and the possibilities are endless (unlike your coffee, unfortunately) but it’s always fun when someone takes that last sip to find a ceramic cockroach, extended middle finger or painted on arsehole looking up them. There are some printed mugs available now also that are absolute crackers too — I’d love to walk through the office with a steaming cuppa that greeted everyone with the blurb ‘Fuck Off. Sorry I mean good morning‘ perfect start to a Monday I’d say!

Grab this Mug from Yellow Octopus for $29.99

7. A Pair of Crotchless Undies

An oldie but a goodie which never goes back in the gift bag, because everyone in the room tries them on, be it on their face or junk. These are closely followed up by grannie knickers and lacy red g-strings.

8. Penis-Shaped Bottle Stoppers

If you know someone who loves wine and loves the cock, then this is the go-to gift for them! They will proudly display photos on their Facebook page of it poking their bottle of chardonnay. They’ll make excuses to have dinner parties like ‘It’s my dog’s birthday’ just so they can yank out the vino and then yank out the cork!!!