Hangover remedies to get you through the new year!
If you’re anything like me and have every intention to drink responsibly, but end up riding your neighbours horse home naked through the paddock at 2.00am, then you too should probably start being more honest with yourself. I’ve decided that it’s likely I will have a little more than I should this NYE and want to prepare accordingly. I always promise myself I’ll only have a couple, because sober me is controlled and extremely mature. Problem is, I’m a 2 pot screamer and drunk me appears early in the night and I have no idea who that person is.
I’ve been looking around for the best Hangover Cures to ensure a quick recovery from my celebratory shenanigans.
These days, if I drink on a Saturday night I’m shady AF until at least Wednesday and have the motivation of a sloth for the entire week. Recovery is a slow and painful process and although I am unable to control the damage I’ve done to both my reputation and emotional stability (poor life decisions on point), after having made a complete dick of myself, I can at least assist in relieving the physical symptoms of the monster hangovers I started getting post 30.
It’s true. I can apparently still drink like a Rockstar, but it would seem I am unable to recover like one. Following too much tipple I am usually an awkward mess the day after. A little like an overweight 80-year-old with severe nausea and a headache verging on migraine proportions. Loud noises and sudden moves frighten me and the actual thought of that greasy breakfast every champion drinker swallows down post-celebration, in fact, makes my stomach turn even more so.
So for those of you in the same boat here’s what I found.
Preparation is Key
Greasy bacon and eggs the next morning to a lot of people, is one of the best options in decreasing your hangover blues. The truth is however; this type of breakfast is better to have prior to actually drinking.
Although the morning after is a good idea too, often many of us can’t stomach it anyway. In preparation for your night out, eating eggs will provide your body with cysteine- an amino acid which helps break-down the hangover-causing toxin acetaldehyde. Having bacon will help increase your metabolism and therefore speed up alcohol digestion aiding its release from your body quicker.
To ensure you are getting the right balance of hangover prevention vitamins and minerals you should also add in some Asparagus. It’s been proven that the amino acids in Asparagus will assist with preventing your wicked hangover and support your liver by protecting it from toxins. To top off your pre-shenanigan breakfast, make sure you add some carbs. Carbohydrates will slow down the alcohol absorption process. This way, you shouldn’t be on the tables dancing at 9.00pm and passed out by 10.00pm, missing the New Year in altogether.
The Next Day
1. Bloody Mary
Even if you’ve prepared accordingly, stocking up on vitamins and minerals beforehand won’t always save you completely from the dreaded hangover. Unfortunately, it’s still likely you will have some kind of physical repercussions after having had too much to drink.
One of the most famous pieces of advice to help you recover is ‘Hair of the Dog’.
I’m not into it, at all to be honest. I’m usually flat out keeping down some water, let alone throwing back a vodka shot; but there is some truth to it. It’s actually more to do with the type of drink you’re having the next morning as opposed to the alcohol itself.
Having another beer certainly won’t save you. Consuming more alcohol will only numb your hangover feels and basically postpone the inevitable. But, if you go to next day, ‘Hair of the Dog’ is, in fact, a Bloody Mary, you could be doing yourself a huge favour. I’d personally skip the 30 mls of chilled vodka and go for just the tomato juice. The ingredients in a Bloody Mary (disregarding the vodka) are actually super beneficial to cure your hangover.
The main ingredient of tomatoes helps you post-piss wreck because it stabilises your sugar levels. The humble tomato also has anti-inflammatory qualities and assists in the rehydration process quicker than just drinking water. The celery stick in your juice also possess anti-inflammatory qualities as well as replacing important vitamins such as folate and vitamin K. To top off your Bloody Mary the lemon juice portion will aid in headache relief and returning your body to a more alkaline state. So basically, a Bloody Mary is a great idea following your celebration overload; maybe just skip the vodka.
Bloody Mary Recipe (minus the vodka)
- 4 Parts Organic Tomato Juice
- ½ Parts Fresh Lemon Juice (to taste)
- 4 Dashes of Worcestershire Sauce.
- 4 Dashes of Tabasco Sauce
- Pinch of Salt
- Pinch of Black Pepper
- Cubed Ice
2. Dirty Lemon
A Dirty Lemon drink is probably one of the best cures I’ve read about. The benefits of this drink will help relieve you of all physical aspects of your hangover. Being that’s it’s not food, you can sip on it at your own pace without overloading your already sensitive stomach with a heavy meal. The Dirty Lemon is exactly what it says it is. Lemon juice as already pointed out in your Bloody Mary, has qualities that help relieve headaches and migraines. It will also aid in returning your body to a more alkaline state and therefore reducing your hangover symptoms.
Dandelion Extract is also an ingredient and has been used for many years in treating liver conditions. This powerful contribution to your Dirty Lemon, replenishes your body with heaps of vitamins and minerals including vitamin A, vitamin B complex, C, D, calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, potassium, and zinc. Dandelion Extract is your liver’s best friend. It helps liver function and protects it against toxins with its cleansing effects.
Your Dirty Lemon also contains ginger. If you’re like me and suffer from nausea following your unintentional booze binge then this will definitely help. Ginger has been well known for years to settle ones seedy stomach and is usually the main ingredient in most over the counter sea sickness tablets. It’s well known; especially to pregnant women how well ginger reduces nausea and will be an addition to your Dirty Lemon you’ll be grateful for.
To make it more palatable and provide some great added benefits, honey is also an ingredient in your Dirty Lemon. Honey aside from making everything taste better, metabolises alcohol. It will replenish your potassium levels and give you the added energy you need to help you make it through the day without dying. Honey is also known to assist in reducing nausea symptoms and let’s be honest here, we need all the help we can get.
Other than water the last and main ingredient in your Dirty Lemon is Activated Charcoal. This is obviously what gives this particular drink its name. You’ll find Activated Charcoal in most detox and cleansing products as its filtering qualities help your liver break down poisons. The alcohol is attracted to the Activated Charcoal and ultimately absorbed by it. Therefore poisons are filtered through the activated charcoal and discarded from your body. A little like an internal water filter process that relieves your body of all the shitty acids that induce hangovers.
I have found, however; if you’re flat out moving when you have a hangover, you can actually buy this drink already made. It generally sells as a detox or cleanse product, but we all know plenty of these healthy super tonics can double as hangover cures. And why not. I’m fairly sure I won’t be in any state to start throwing around ingredients in my kitchen the next morning. So, I may as well just buy one already prepared and keep refrigerated for when the emergency arises. You can buy ‘Dirty Lemon’ online or at your local chemist.
Dirty Lemon Recipe
- 240 mls Chilled Filtered Water
- 2 Teaspoons Activated Charcoal
- ½ Teaspoon Honey
- 1 Nun of Ginger Root
- 1-2 Tablespoons of Dandelion Extract
Now I’m not talking death metal blaring to further exacerbate your already horrible headache. I’m talking about music that you love and know well.
Music is scientifically proven to improve and lower stress and anxiety levels.
If you’re like me, then agonising about the shitty life decisions you made the night before will put you on edge the next day making your head-case hangover so much worse. Not only does music provide great benefits to your mental wellbeing but it’s also proven to reduce nausea symptoms. Who knew? You may have a headache, but if at all possible some sweet background tunes will 100% help with your terribly painful hangover and may just relieve you of those seedy stomach tensions.
Although not a cure exactly, having sex can temporarily relieve you of your hangover symptoms. It seems that science has proven while having sex your hangover will disappear momentarily, giving you respite from feeling so horribly ill. Of course, the symptoms will return upon finishing and isn’t the time you require a quickie. But; a great love making session will absolutely help the time pass and lessen the impact of your shitty fur-tongued episode.
We all know a man can’t think straight of a hangover but their dick will get hard in an instant. It’s a confirmed fact that men suffer from ‘Alcohol Myopia’, a tendency to focus on things that feel good and an inability to control their erections. Therefore, getting your man to pound town if he was celebrating with you shouldn’t be a problem.
So, there it is! My guide to surviving NYE celebrations when you have little to no self-control when it comes to drinking responsibly. My only other advice is to make sure there’s no photo evidence, you impose a snapchat ban and apologise in advance for your hilariously shitty behaviour.